We”ve seen the wonders of electrical stimulation before, so it’’s no real shock (ahem) to hear that a University of Florida engineer has figured out a method to combine that very tactic with sophisticated computer learning technology in order to assist Earthlings in regaining “more precise, more life-like control of paralyzed limbs.” Reportedly, the research could help around 700,000 Americans who suffer from strokes and 11,000 from cord injuries each year. Says the university’’s Warren Dixon (pictured): “It’’s an adaptive scheme to do electrical stimulation more efficiently, with less fatigue and more accuracy.” Eventually, the dream is to build a wearable, pacemaker-sized device that could output the precise amount of stimulation at the perfect time in order to encourage natural movement, and it would also be able to adapt to each individual as it learns their habits and techniques. Not mentioned in the report, however, was just how beneficial this discovery could be to the scads of preposterously lazy Americans, too.

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Researcher finds electrical stimulation key to rehabilitating paralyzed limbs

Fitness First is a gym in the Netherlands that installed this advertisement at a local bus stop. It has a scale attached to the seat so when you sit on it (with legs hanging ) it shows your weight. It’s supposed to make you think about your health and joining the gym. But all it made me think about was how long it takes to cook a 68kg turkey. Fat Shaming at the Bus Stop [current] Thanks to Jonathan, who once hid lead weights in his pumpkin to win the heaviest pumpkin contest at the county fair.

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Bus Stop Shames You Into Joining The Gym

This is a Saturday Night Live skit from like 1995, so it’s old as all hell, I know that. But I think it’s important to note how much more seriously people used to take the robot threat than they do now . What’s going on? Ya best protect ya neck! And now, thanks to Old Glory Insurance, geriatrics can be attacked by killer robots worry-free of the financial burden often caused by such maulings. Unfortunately, you’re on your own if you’re under 50, so I recommend doing what I did and wearing a fake mustache. I say, how about that ‘64 World’s Fair? First trip Gertie and I ever took to the Big Apple. I remember she flashed her tits to the butter sculptor. Good times. I’ll take $1 million policy, please. Old Glory [hulu] Thanks to Stephanie, who may or may not have taken policies out on the old folks who live next door and then reprogrammed their Roomba.

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Take It Seriously: Robot Attack Insurance

Though they’ll happily sharpen your straight razor for just $20 (and restore it for an additional fee), Max Sprecher will happily sell you a fully restored antique model for $90 to $160 , depending on vintage and materials. [via Cool Hunting ]

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Max Sprecher’s antique straight razors