If there’s one thing I don’t want to give birth to it’s a giant spider . If there’s two it’s a giant spider and a superhero . No thank you amirite?! Ain’t no “strength of 100-men” baby tearing out of this vagina like there’s a bank robbery in progress. Unless I was so hopped up on meds I thought it was all a hallucination and I could later exploit my little freak for financial gain, in which case, yes, I would do that. This is a series of superhero embryos by an unknown artist on display at the HEY! art show in Paris. They…are wearing costumes. A little unorthodox for an embryo, I know, but I was born with a spacesuit on so I guess anything is possible. EXCEPT perpetual motion. That shit’s a no-go. Hit the jump for six more superbabies.

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Superhero Embryos: Would NOT Want To Birth

Seen here pretending to be more than two feet off the ground , 13-year old Hibiki Kono made himself a vacuum powered wall-climbing suit so he can escape the asylum and avenge his parents’ deaths. Ooooor climb a brick wall while people take pictures. Using a pair of 1,400-watt vacuums he purchased at UK retailer Tesco, Hibiki Kono hooked them up to a couple of large suction pads, and proceeded to ascend a vertical surface with the contraption strapped to his back and arms. Well damn, future Mr. Dyson — you’ve got inventor written all over you! Also, “I have sex with appliances”. Let me guess: you had too much Sunny-D and passed out with your shoes on again. Hit the jump for a video of Hibiki and his magic suit in action.

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13-Year Old Makes Wall-Climbing Vacuum Suit

Apparently these costumes have been around for a while now but I didn’t know because I don’t have any business shopping for Darth Vader baby get-ups (I just sign the child support checks). But Geekologie Reader Tengku Edzuan decided to take a different approach to child rearing and bought this costume for his son. That’s him there. Cute, huh? BUT DON’T EVEN THINK FOR A SECOND HE’S NOT ALL DARK SITH LORD , because he 100% is. I heard one time he caught a stuffed animal eying his binky and Force choke-slammed that sucker into a pile of alphabet blocks. Brutal! Barf Vader [edzuantengku] and Product Site

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Force Choke (And Spit Up): Baby Vaders