This is a video of a kid’s mom refusing to buy him more Pokemon cards at Toys R Us, and the kid losing his Pokemind in the middle of the store. At first I thought it was fake because why would you be film yourself talking at the checkout of a toy store , then I realized the kid had already started his downward spiral into hysteria BEFORE the film started rolling. Now I’m not saying if I were that kid’s mother I’d have breasts I would’ve made him walk home, because that’s how you get your kids abducted. No, I would have tied a rope around his waist and made him tow the car home. That way I could keep an eye on him. *tapping head* Always thinking, this one. Hit the jump for the wrap it up public service announcement.

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Pokemon Card Freakout At Toys R Us, Kid Throws Snorlax-Sized Hissy Fit

This is a video of a surgeon peeling a grape with the Da Vinci surgical robot to raise awareness for prostate cancer and help calm patient’s nerves about the precision of the technology. Unfortunately, the doctor actually stabs the grape a couple times, which, while watching the video, I was pretending was one of my balls. That’s probably why I passed out. That and the constant snipping sound. That is definitely one sound I definitely don’t ever want to hear down there . That and chains rattling. Hit the jump and try to not think about your balls, I dare you. You will fail.

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That Looks Way Too Much Like A Ball: Peeling A Grape With The Prostate Surgical Robot

If there’s one thing I don’t want to give birth to it’s a giant spider . If there’s two it’s a giant spider and a superhero . No thank you amirite?! Ain’t no “strength of 100-men” baby tearing out of this vagina like there’s a bank robbery in progress. Unless I was so hopped up on meds I thought it was all a hallucination and I could later exploit my little freak for financial gain, in which case, yes, I would do that. This is a series of superhero embryos by an unknown artist on display at the HEY! art show in Paris. They…are wearing costumes. A little unorthodox for an embryo, I know, but I was born with a spacesuit on so I guess anything is possible. EXCEPT perpetual motion. That shit’s a no-go. Hit the jump for six more superbabies.

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Superhero Embryos: Would NOT Want To Birth

This is a video from Cornell University of two artificial intelligence systems talking to each other. They’re nonsensical and rude, even to their own kind. Plus they pronounce Cleverbot “Cleverbutt”, which gave me a serious case of the giggles. And by giggles I mean runs, because God decided to play a trick on me and make my coccyx my funny bone. *shakes fist at heaven clenching buttcheeks* Hit the jump for a solid minute of WTF.

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WTF WAS THAT?: Two Artificial Intelligence ‘Cleverbots’ Having A Rude Conversation

This is a tubful of creepy-ass sea lampreys at Michigan State acting as test subjects for a new lamprey repellent the university is developing made of the rotting carcasses of other sea lampreys . Because smelling your own dead — that shit’ll get to you. Also: Cupid’s arrow. *twang* Well that was just a regular arrow , but you obviously got the point because you’re bleeding pretty bad. Point , LOLOL. Lampreys are parasites that look like slimy eels with mouths that are ringed with several layers of jagged teeth [designed to attach to and feed from a host]. In some areas, like the Great Lakes of the United States, they’ve become an invasive pest that kills local trout and other valuable fish. Damn them things is nasty. You think Indiana Jones would hate them more or less than snakes? My guess is more — what’s your guess? “I dunno, but rumor has it Ursula from ‘The Little Mermaid’ has a crush on Lord Lamprey!” Really? I heard she was banging King Crab. Dude likes his sea-witches thick. Hit the jump for two videos (one above water, one below) and a picture of a lamprey mouth because terrified is a good look on you.

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Tubful Of Lampreys Go Buck Wild After Being Exposed To Smell Of Their Own Rotting Dead

This is a video from some POS ‘ reality ‘ wedding show that I’ll vehemently deny l’d ever watch (despite the fact that like 20% of my DVR is Bridezillas I can’t bring myself to delete because I might want to watch them again), featuring a creepy ring-bearing Gollum. Some show background, which I TOTALLY DID NOT copy/paste from the TLC website trying to find out what time it comes on: Every bride thinks she’s having the perfect wedding, but what if four brides agree to be guests at each other’s weddings to decide which is best? Tune into find out as these brides score each other’s big day for a fabulous honeymoon vacation prize. Anyway, some couple who obviously don’t understand the concept of winning decided it would be a good idea to have SOME CREEPY DUDE DRESSED UP (down?) AS GOLLUM come out of a pond to be the ring bearer. You really just have to see it to believe it. But one ring thing’s for sure: that shit was classy as a Mordorf***er. Hit the jump for more sexy than should be legal for a wedding ceremony.

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Bad Ideas: Gollum As Wedding Ring Bearer

Roongrojna Sangwongprisarn (damn I’d hate having to write that on top of all my homework), the 54-year old proprietor of Thailand’s four Ko Art Shops (that specialize in custom scrap metal creations, because you can do that now), went and built himself a tetanus-laden alien (although it does have a Predator-ish mouth ) motorcycle. This is it. It…looks like a great way to impale yourself on a giant metal alien head. Hit the jump for two more shots.

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Homemade ‘Alien’ Scrap Metal Motorcycle

This is a series of baby dolls customized by eBay seller artfulbabies to look like newborn Harry Potter characters . In case you couldn’t tell because you don’t even know like a single magic spell , the burn-it-with-fire demon spawn here is Lord Voldemort . The rest of them aren’t nearly as terrifying, but still somewhat so because of just how lifelike they look. In my opinion, it should be illegal to manufacture a fake baby that look any more realistic than a Cabbage Patch Doll. And by Cabbage Patch Doll I mean a stick with a face drawn on. Have you ever even been baby doll shopping before? Those things are EXPENSIVE. *ahem* I’m looking at you, American Girl doll company! $36 for one tiny-ass outfit for my niece’s doll . I could get TWO entire Geekologie Writer outfits for that! “Damn GW — what the f*** do you wear?!” Ha, nothing but $18 bourbon, baby. Hit the jump for a bunch more in this order: another Voldemort, Dobby the House Elf, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Hermoine and Harry himself.

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GW Casts "Can Unsee", It Isn’t Super Effective: Terrifying Harry Potter Character Baby Dolls

Fun for the whole family! (except children under 48″) This is a picture of Japan’s new Takabisha roller coaster at the Fuji-Q (NOT Suzie-Q) Highland amusement park near Mount Fuji. It features a 121-degree drop so, not only will you be ejected from your seat, but hit by the coaster car afterward . You hear that, Disneyland?! There’s a new happiest place on earth AND IT’S CALLED HEAVEN. …the Takabisha roller coaster boasts the world’s steepest freefall: A gut-melting 121 degrees capable of inducing g-force levels equivalent to those experienced by fighter pilots. The 141-foot, 62mph drop is merely the cherry that tops a 2-mile-long roller coaster cake filled with seven major twists and turns Count me in — I f***ing looooooove puking. Helps remind me I’m alive. Also, that I boozed as hard as I could. GO BIG OR GO HOME! Ooooooooor to the hospital to get my stomach pumped. That charcoal taste is growing on me. Hit the jump for two videos of the dizziness. The first from the ground, the second from the front seat. Now I don’t feel so good.

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Blowing Chunks:121-Degree Rollercoaster Fall

Super Mario enemies : a lot of times you felt bad killing them because half of them were just happy little turtles THAT DIDN’T EVEN ATTACK. Enter artist Mike Puncekar, who shows you what those 8-bit graphics couldn’t: the darker side of Mario’s enemies. This is obviously a goomba here, but hit the jump for nine more, all of which are nightmare-inducing. And speaking of nightmares: I had one last night where a friend, under the pretense he’d found a missing shoe of mine, lured me into this basement and tried to kill me . God — what a girl’s willing to go through for a good pair of pumps amirite?! Hit the jump for the creepfest.

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Super Mario Enemies Frighteningly Reimagined