Duke Nukem Forever , the game that was never meant to be , is allegedly back on track for a 2011 release on PC, XBox and PS3. Wait a minute — is it April 1st already? Take Two Interactive Software pulled off one of the video game world’s biggest surprises Friday, announcing not only that the over-a-decade-in-development first person shooter was nearly finished, but backing that claim up by giving the 150,000 people attending the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle the chance to play the game. And while 3D Realms is no more, Gearbox Software, the studio behind “Borderlands” and “Brothers in Arms” (and staffed with a number of former 3DR employees), has taken over development on the game. “Gearbox has enabled die-hard key Duke Nukem franchise builders and skilled veteran game makers to stand together and deliver,” said Randy Pitchford, president of Gearbox Software. “All gamers deserve a happy ending and after all of us gamers feeling the full range of emotions about Duke Nukem Forever, I am thrilled to be in a position with the trust, power and means to make it happen.” Amazing. I’m really curious to see how the game is received by the folks that get to demo. Because at this point I’m highly skeptical. Seriously, this game’s entire development has became a case study in watching a bunch of grown-ass men trying to jam a square peg into a round hole. “Just keep shaving the corners — we’ve got this shit!” Surprise! Duke Nukem Forever uncanceled, playable at PAX [pluggedin] Thanks to David, Bluness, Gregatron Surtrax, soundwave and Mark, who really have their hopes up which is awesome because I love watching dreams get crushed.

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My Breath, I’m Not Holding It: Duke Nukem Forever Actually Being Released Next Year?

Rear Gear Butt Covers ( “No more Mr. Brown Eye” — not even kidding) are little $5 cardboard cutouts that hang from your pet’s tail and cover its butthole. Jesus Christ. Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side. Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone. Admittedly, I hate an animal’s bare b-hole touching my arm as much as the next guy, but I’m not definitely not hanging a trunk ornament on it. My pet deserves her dignity, damnit. Aaaaand now she’s licking it. NO I DON’T WANT A KISSIE! Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the Etsy sale page.

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I’ve Seen It All Now: Animal B-Hole Covers

Finally, a sport manly enough for yours truly. Sorry guys, but I’m officially retiring from lava diving and shark rodeo. Now, which one of you handsome gents wants the honor of receiving my first highly-toxic pummeling? You in the front row — scrawny guy with the eyepatch. In the wheelchair. BRING IT, I WILL DESTROY YOU! Hit the jump for a bunch more shots, moderately graphic due to blood.

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WTF Japan?: Fluorescent Tube Fighting