Seen here clearly demonstrating he knows how to cup some damn balls, Skinny McRipped demonstrates an exercise with the Free Flexor, a new piece of questionable exercise equipment consisting of a shaft and two weighted balls that, just like the Shake Weight , eerily simulates the act of masturbating and should never be performed in front of another human being, including yourself in the mirror. Or pets. They will never respect you. Hit the jump for the you’re not fooling anyone commercial.

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I’d Rather Be Scrawny: The Free Flexor Picks Up Where Shake Weight Left Off (Near-Blind)

Nerds vs Geeks poster: ” Nerds are into Star Trek , geeks are into Star Wars !” Anybody who sees it: “WTF?! Whoever made this doesn’t know shit about shit.” Geeks vs. Nerds: The Anatomy [bitrebels] Thanks to Shannon, who agrees not knowing anything about anything has never stopped somebody from pretending to be an expert on the subject anyway. I know, I’m living proof.

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Nerds Vs. Geeks, Some Kinda Iffy Infographic

NOTE: No, I didn’t paint the eyebrows and mouth on in Photoshop, the creepy little f***er actually looks like that. Aberystwyth University (which, based on the name, probably teaches witchcraft) computer science professor James Law (hey — you’re not above it, bro!) has nominated iCub , the creepy robotic child , to be one of the torchbearers in the 2012 Olympic Games in London . *dousing iCub in gasoline and kicking down a hill* Per weak-ass justification: Law has suggested that the iCub robot, which is designed to learn from the world like a human toddler, should be given a chance to take part in the event as a tribute to legendary computer scientist Alan Turing . “2012 will mark the 100th anniversary of the birth of Alan Turing, the founder of computer science and a figurehead for the code breaking efforts of WWII,” he said. “A robot torch bearer would be a fitting tribute to Alan Turing, and an inspiration to future generations of scientists and engineers.” Right, because what better way to celebrate physical human achievement than letting a robot participate? THAT MAKES ZERO F***ING SENSE. Listen — I’m all for celebrating Alan Turing, but the Olympics ARE NOT THE PLACE. No, the Olympics are a place for betting on sporting events you only get the opportunity to once every four years . You know, traditions and shit. Robot nominated to carry Olympic flame [newscientist] Thanks to Kane, who gets accosted in the street a lot and accused of killing Abel. No not Cain dammit — Kane, K-A-N-E.

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Over My Dead Body: Robot Child Nominated To Carry The Olympic Torch In 2012 Games

This is a boat made out of a freestanding hammock . Why you’d want to do that is beyond me, but I also used to have a friend that would microwave beer because he liked it warm, so I’ve basically stopped asking questions . Still, if Rambo there in the pic is any indication of how much fun there is to be had with a hammock boat, these things might just be the new rocketpack. Hammock Boat [neatorama] Thanks to Duncan, who used to have a rocking chair boat but rocked his ass right into the water and got attacked by an alligator. Now he plays Captain Hook at Disney World.

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Different Strokes (Read: Paddles) For Different Folks: The Hammock Pontoon Boat

Presumably because some bigwig in the marketing department wanted to make a classy exit and leave the company flipping a proverbial bird , Hostess actually branded their Snowball treats as ‘Snowballimus’ (previously: Green Lantern GloBalls ) and another cupcake snack as ‘Chocwave Shockwaves’. The Chocwaves sound okay but the Snoballimuses look utterly disgusting, which is saying a lot because blue is probably my favorite color food. “Razzleberries?” Smurfs. Hit the jump for a shot of the other.

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Your Brand Manager, They Should Be Fired: Transformer Branded Hostess Snack Cakes

43-year old Robert Jeffrey Young (43 isn’t really that young, bro) and Mark Rubinson, 25, went to pick up their “friend” Jeffrey Jarrett for a guy’s night out on the town. Only thing is, Jeffrey was dead . So what did they do? Loaded his blue ass into the back of their car and went out anyways! His treat. [The two men found Jerrett] unresponsive at his house late on Aug. 27, before loading him into Rubinson’s car and taking him to a local bar and grill, where they drank on his tab. They then went to another bar, before returning Jarrett’s body to his home and continuing their night out using their dead friend’s ATM card to withdraw money. On their way home, they flagged down a cop and told him they thought their friend was dead at his house. Wait — YOU LEFT HIM IN THE CAR?! But what if he wanted to mack on some honeys? What the hell’s the purpose of bringing him if you’re not even gonna tie strings around his hands and make him dance like a real-life marionette?! You know you could have just taken his ATM card and left him at home. Also, anybody’s whose first reaction to a dead friend is “let’s load him in the car and go boozing” and not “scream and pass out” scares the hell out of me. Denver Men Accused of Taking Friend’s Corpse on Boys’ Night Out [foxnews] Thanks to Thaylor, who doesn’t even want to find a frienemy dead.

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Good Friends: Guys Find Friend Dead, Play ‘Weekend At Bernies’ IRL To Drink On His Tab

WARNING: Video will make you think less of Doc Brown. This is the followup to the previously posted Back to the Future themed teaser ad (because commercials can have teasers now) for electronics store Garbarino in Angentina. Except this one is longer. And, despite a relatively okay concept, is pretty sad. Dammit Doc — WTF do you think you’re doing?! “Just trying to make a buck.” Just trying to make a buck — go back to the future and steal a Sports Alamanac, shit! “It’s unethical.” No, ruining my perception of the great Dr. Emmet Brown, INVENTOR OF THE FLUX F***IN’ CAPACITOR is what’s unethical! Back me up, Marty. “Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?” Jesus, not this again. Hit the jump for the say it ain’t so, plus bonus fake press conference that’s even worse :/

Continued here:
The Entire Doc Brown Electronics Commercial

This is a video of a guy stopping his truck with his feet because he must have seen it on a cartoon once. How he hasn’t run off the edge of a cliff and hovered there for a second before plummeting to his death is beyond me. A police video camera captured images of a 24-year-old Detroit-area man who tried using his feet to stop a runaway pickup truck with faulty brakes and caused multiple collisions, exhibiting “moronic decision making,” a Roseville police official said Thursday. Witnesses said the man reached speeds of about 40 mph and was able to stop the car on at least two occasions . The car eventually struck four vehicles. “He said he was going to fix the brakes when he got home,” Berlin said. AHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAH — IT WASN’T JUST A SINGLE TIME!! Dude lost his brakes, was able to stop the car, but then kept going . Now that — that’s dedication. Or…something. Something that shouldn’t be rewarded with continuing to live. Hit the jump for the how did you not die a long time ago?

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Fred Flintstone’s Brakes Are Out So He Stops Truck With Feet (Until The Time He Can’t)

There are iPhone cases , and then there are iPhone cases . Then, there are these fake hand iPhone cases from Strapya World . They make it look like you’re holding a severed hand when talking on the phone. But that’s not even the best part — the best part is the price! Only $64. Any cheaper and they’d practically be giving them away! Kidding, that’s a ripoff. Plus it won’t even fit in a pocket. But if you do manage to stuff it in there and get a call on vibrate it will feel like a handjob… … … *quietly pre-orders entire stock* Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the product shite.

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Creep Factor 11: Fake Hand iPhone Cases

This is a Wiimote -controlled fire-breathing robot pony being put through its paces (turning head, breathing fire) at the recent Detroit Maker’s Faire by its two mohawk’d creators. The pink one clearly stealing the other’s thunder aside, there is absolutely no reason why anybody should ever make a Wii-mote controlled fire-breathing robot pony (link is to a unicorn — MY BAD). As a matter of fact, even thinking about making one should be punishable by law. AND brainwashing. *toothpicking eyelids open* Now hold still, this won’t hurt a bit. *blasting with pepper spray* Haha, I’m not really sure how the whole brainwashing thing works so I’m improvising. Now, repeat after me: robots are the enemy. “MY EEEEEEEEEEEYES!!” That is not what I said. *shaking can* Hit the jump for the short video of the ‘would not ride into battle’.

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Every Girl’s Dream: Fire-Breathing Robot Pony