This is a video of a praying mantis ( Idolomantis Diabolica — the Devil’s Flower Mantis) showing off his ninja-ing skills on some dude’s thumb . Honestly, I can’t even believe this thing exists in real life. Of course I said the same thing about Double-Stuffed Oreos , and yet there they are, soaking at the bottom of my milk glass. Hit the jump for the what you get when an insect LITERALLY pollinates a flower.

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Ninja Praying Mantis Battling A Guy’s Thumb

OMG — the eighth plague. Because God has wisely (the dude’s smart) decided humanity’s reign of terror on earth has just about run its course, here’s a video featuring a bunch of recent bugnadoes (bugs + tornadoes , despite the absence of any actual tornadoes ) in Missouri. Allegedly they’re some sort of multi-thousand bug sex party, but that’s just what a nonbeliever would have you think. And me, well, I believe. ? I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sky Think about it every night and day spread my wings and fl– ? Oh — oh shit, I think just swallowed a bug. *hocking* “GW, stay focused — you’re falling!” Oh no — I’ve lost my happy thought! *plummeting back to earth* Boning dinosaurs, BONING DINOSAURS! *soars like an eagle into power lines* Hit the jump for the video of the end is nigh.

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Bug Tornadoes Herald Coming Apocalypse

This is a series of eyeball closeups taken by Suren Manvelyan . Why anybody would want to take a bunch of freaky macro eyeball pictures is beyond me, but I suspect Suren is trying to steal souls. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF POTIONS ARE YOU MIXING, WIZARD?! Hit the jump for a ton more ookiness.

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Windows To The Soul: Eyeball Closeups

This is a picture of someone who’s been vacuum -packed. Sounds freaky deaky , I know. And that’s because it is freaky deaky . Apparently people like the way it feels. See? Those frozen chicken cutlets don’t have it so bad after all! There’s a video of a human vacuum-packing in action after the jump, and I’ve got to admit: I wouldn’t mind trying it. On you. Tell me, how do you feel about getting dumped in a river afterward? Hit the jump for one more shot, a video of the WTF’ery, as well as a NSFW link (some see-through) to Kink Engineering with even more ZOMGOODNESS.

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I’m Not Surprised (But Still Deeply Disturbed): A "Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite" Fetish

This pulsating ‘umbilical’ iPhone charger was designed by Mio I-zawa as an experiment in just how disgusting a person can make a cell phone charger . Nice try, Mio, but a REAL disgusting charger would ooze pus and smell like an orc’s o-ring (they wipe with dead animals). Oh I’m sorry — were you eating ? Kidding, I’m not really sorry. Besides, boogers don’t count anyway. “But I have a salt-tooth!” God you’re f***ing disgusting. Hit the jump to see a short video of the charger doing it’s thing. Then, hit the person next to you to see if they’ll fight back. If they don’t, demand their wallet. If they do, good luck, my money’s on them. Hit it for the WTFery.

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Stuff It Back In!: ‘Umbilical’ Cell Phone Charger

Note: Jump probably NSFW due to fake alien-vaj. To coincide with the release of Hustler’s Avatar pr0n parody , Fleshlight is making an “alien” version of their famous male sex-toy . “Honey — I think the blue flashlight in the tool chest next to your Neytiri poster is out of batteries”. Go where no manhood has gone before past the strangely alluring double clitoris of the Alien vagina. This mesmerizing pearlescent blue Alien begs to beam you up for a close encounter of the preferred kind. The exclusive Alien texture combines the feel of three of our most popular textures to create one out-of-this-world experience. Tantalizing sinews swirl together mimicking our famous Vortex canal before breaking through to a Lotus node that finally gives way to our most intense texture, the STU. I’m not gonna lie, I felt dirty just reading that. You can buy the sadness alone for $75, or get it and the movie and — AND — two pairs of crappy 3-D glasses for $90. Which leads me to my next question: why two pairs? Hit the jump for two more NSFW shots and a link to the product page.

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It Was Only A Matter Of Time: Na’vi Fleshlight

Note: Jump is very NSFW and very NOT UNSEEABLE . Textbook definition of cannot be unseen . You have been warned. “Honey, look — it’s Homer !” “Oh my God that’s amazing! The only thing that could possibly make it any better is if it wasn’t my wife doing it. I think we should see other people.” Hit the jump for the very NSFW version ( SPOILER : boobie eyes!).

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Homer’s Completely NSFW Doppelganger

Wiiwaa is a new Wii game that comes with a stuffed animal peripheral . Basically you put a Wiimote (NOT YOUR PENIS) in its mouth and then dry hump it from behind like there’s no tomorrow. Because there might not be. Don’t believe me? Hit the jump for a video of Weewoo in action.

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Wii Game With Stuffed Animal Peripheral

Despite what your parents tell their therapists, you must have been good this year because Santa sent me this Zelda /Link upskirt to share with you. So, yeah, [insert joke about seeing her Triforce here]. Also, [something something Master Sword]. Hyrule Upskirts=Awesome [hawtness] Thanks to Greg, who may or may not be Santa in disguise. Ha, like you could grow a real beard!

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Wait, You’ve Been Good?: A Zelda Upskirt

Rear Gear Butt Covers ( “No more Mr. Brown Eye” — not even kidding) are little $5 cardboard cutouts that hang from your pet’s tail and cover its butthole. Jesus Christ. Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side. Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone. Admittedly, I hate an animal’s bare b-hole touching my arm as much as the next guy, but I’m not definitely not hanging a trunk ornament on it. My pet deserves her dignity, damnit. Aaaaand now she’s licking it. NO I DON’T WANT A KISSIE! Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the Etsy sale page.

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I’ve Seen It All Now: Animal B-Hole Covers