Because using your real-life hand is just far too simple and inexpensive, Taylor Veltrop managed to hack together an XBox Kinect , Wii, head-mounted video goggles, a little treadmill and a $16,000 robot to remotely groom a cat . Wow, the cat looks thrilled about it too. In Veltrop’s setup, the HMD provides him with the robot’s viewpoint and also controls the Nao’s head and neck–whichever way the operator turns his head, the robot moves in kind. Wiimotes are used to control each hand, while the rest of the robot’s bodily movements are generated by cues picked up by the Kinect. So when Veltrop walks forward on a treadmill, the robot begins walking forward. If he turns sideways the robot rotates itself in place. Cat grooming aside, the implications of this tele-presence avatar technology actually sound pretty promising. Namely in the realm of adult entertainment . That’s right, folks — virtual avatar sex. *puts on virtual reality goggles, slams peener in desk drawer* “…Why’d you do that?” I don’t know but I’m regretting it. Hit the jump for the robotic avatar tele-presence cat grooming or whatever the f*** it is in action.

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Man Hacks Together Kinect, Wii, Video Goggles, Treadmill And Little Robot To Virtually Groom Cat

WARNING: Contains pirate language and potential spoilers for the Dark Brotherhood quests. This is an artistically shot video of somebody’s grandma playing Skyrim and swearing her face off (easy does it, granny — one more f-bomb and that face is GONE). She…might be a witch. Plus she doesn’t have very many teeth. You’d think with all the cursing she would have had her mouth washed out with soap enough to save some but NOPE. “I like the way she licks her lips.” You’re f***ing nasty. “I’d rub her feet while she plays.” I SAID STOP! Hit the jump for the never too old to game or cuss at a television in action. Note: If youre into it, follow the link back to brobro’s Youtube channel to see her playing everything from God of War to Final Fantasy to Dead Space.

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Granny Gamer: Crazy Swearing Old Lady Plays Skyrim

So I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today (which, incidentally, is just a mattress on the floor because why pay for a bed frame or boxspring when you’re already afraid of heights?) and it got me thinking: does my back hurt because my mattress is too stiff or because I drank my face off last night and my kidneys are shot ? Life’s little mysteries. This is a local Star Trek themed mattress store commercial. Would I go there to buy a mattress? No. Would I go there to intentionally pee on a Tempur-Pedic and try to get it at a discount? For you, yes. Hit the jump for more production value than you could shake a sockful of bottle caps at.

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Star Trek Themed Local Mattress Store Commercial

This is a video of Youtuber Boogie (aka Francis aka not a real-life video) being disrupted from Skyrim to unbox a lightsaber as an early Christmas present. Depending on how you feel about lightsabers, morbid obesity, people pretending to be retarded, and people attacking people pretending to be retarded with lightsabers, you may or may not like it. I…did not like it. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some good one-liners, it’s just… f*** you should really take better care of yourself . It’s like watching an overexcited bean-bag chair. Hit the jump for the WTFery.

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Christmas Came Early: Francis Unboxes A Lightsaber

This is allegedly a teaser-trailer for a Bioshock fan-film coming out summer of 2013. At first I wasn’t that impressed at all because, f***, it’s just a guy playing dead on a beach with a big daddy doll , but there’s a single second of ultra-fast clips at the end. That…piqued my interest. Of course, I also just caught myself staring at the warts on my pinky for two minutes, so take that for what you will. I got them from petting a frog! Hit the jump for the most titillating 45-seconds of my day so far.

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Would Watch: Fan-Made Bioshock Movie Trailer

This is a time-lapse video from the BBC of a brinicle doing its thing. A brinicle is formed when brine (extra salty water — both denser and colder than the sea water around it) makes its way through the ice above and falls to the ocean floor, creating a frozen hollow “sheath” in the process. After hitting the seabed, it forms a frozen “river”, killing everything in its path. It’s pretty amazing to watch, provided you can get past all the poor starfish getting frozen alive. That’s probably why they chose to have David Attenborough narrate the clip. That guy’s voice, so soothing . He could tell me bedtime stories about serial killer robots tearing my body limb from limb and I’d still sleep like a baby. “Waking up every four hours to shit your diaper and then cry about it?” Like clockwork. Hit the jump for the frozen river of death and a worthwhile picture of the setup used to capture the action.

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Run My Little Starfish Friends, RUN!: Ultra-Cold Brinicle (Brine + Icicle) Of Death Kills Everything In Its Path

Seen here shaming their families, Cringey McVista and the Windhoes 98 crew or whatever rap about their love for the Windows 7 phone . It’s…pretty much as bad as it gets. It’s the kind of video that, not only do you find yourself embarrassed to watch and feel bad for the girls, but you start wondering how they’re gonna wake up tomorrow and be able to live with themselves. Not very easily, I know that (I’ve done way worse). Hit the jump for the even you could do better (and I almost never say that).

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Painful: Girls Rapping About Windows Phone

Unarguably the best screencap of all time. This is a video of some superheroes (and a villain) dancing at a kid’s birthday party. It…gets interesting fast. One minute they’re all singing happy birthday and the next booties are poppin’ and crotches rockin’. Obviously, they can expect a call as my birthday nears. Hit the jump for this year’s must-have birthday performers.

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Superheroes Dancing Dirty At Kid’s Birthday Party

This is a video of some nutjob starting a fire in his mouth using some sort of magic powder. Then, after he gets it going, some other dude uses it to light a cigarette and musters the best “I’m cool” look he can FOR A GUY WHO JUST LIT A CIGARETTE FROM ANOTHER DUDE’S BURNING MOUTH. That doesn’t make you cool, bro. Now flamethrowing nips — THOSE would make you cool. And me hot. Get it?! Because you melted my face off when I went in for a motorboat! Hit the jump for the WTF’ery in action.

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Why You Do That?: Guy Starts A Fire In His Mouth

Cats : they’re supposed to stand on all four feet. Granted sometimes they’ll sit on three with a back one in the air and lick their genitals in front of company, but that’s because they’re terrible hosts. Dammit Archimedes — at least set out the hors d’ oeuvres first! Recently, there have been sightings of bipedal Frankenfelines , and this is another. Except this guy doesn’t actually go anywhere, he just stands there . It’s like how they teach you if you’re ever surrounded by hyenas you’re supposed to hold your hands above your head so they think you’re too tall to f*** with. What? I was raised in the bush . Just kidding, but I did work in a Lowe’s home & garden department one summer. Hit the jump for the OH HELLLLLLLL NO, YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INSTANCE! (instance is the new instant fyi)

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Get Down From There!: Devil Cat Learns To Stand