Cats : they’re supposed to stand on all four feet. Granted sometimes they’ll sit on three with a back one in the air and lick their genitals in front of company, but that’s because they’re terrible hosts. Dammit Archimedes — at least set out the hors d’ oeuvres first! Recently, there have been sightings of bipedal Frankenfelines , and this is another. Except this guy doesn’t actually go anywhere, he just stands there . It’s like how they teach you if you’re ever surrounded by hyenas you’re supposed to hold your hands above your head so they think you’re too tall to f*** with. What? I was raised in the bush . Just kidding, but I did work in a Lowe’s home & garden department one summer. Hit the jump for the OH HELLLLLLLL NO, YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INSTANCE! (instance is the new instant fyi)

Excerpt from:
Get Down From There!: Devil Cat Learns To Stand

This is a video of Snake Eyes practicing his ninja-ing in G.I. Joe’s highly sophisticated training arena his backyard while being critiqued by a sun sculpture, a buddha statue, a skull coffee mug, some free weights, and two sets of horseshoes. One thing’s for certain: if you’re a gallon of milk , 2-liter soda bottle or jug of kitty litter, this is NOT the ninja to f*** with. But if you have at least a broken nunchuck and any coordination whatsoever you could easily kill the poor bastard. Unless he whips out his bow & arrow , in which case he’ll probably do it himself. Remember Snake Eyes: Knowing when to quit is half the battle. Hit the jump for a video of G.I. Joe’s latest rejection letter in action.

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Snake Eyes Practicing His Ninja Moves

I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I really wanna throw a handful of change at him. Except not actual change, just a handful of washers. Then while Luke Panhandler there is scurrying around picking them up I’ll steal his lightsaber . Well, provided he hasn’t already pawned it to support his glitterstim habit. Kidding, kidding — that’s what Jedi blow-j’s are for. Flickr Thanks to Cowbell Fever, who, CRANK THAT BELL UP TO 11 AND BREAK OFF THE CLAPPER! Wait, no — better leave the clapper.

See original here:
I’d X-Wing A Quarter At Him: Homeless Jedi