Damn, how sexy is that?! If you answered, “wow, not one bit, I think I even vomited a little”, congratulations, you might still have some taste and decency after all. I always thought iPhones were feminine anyways with their smooth lines and all. No, the last phone made with any REAL balls was my old Pronto pager. That thing was a hoss! Besides, what happens if you accidentally lick your iPhone’s balls when you’re making a call? You look super gay. Well … this just disturbs the piss out of me. [hothotjapanhot] via iPhone balls? [buzzfeed]

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I Don’t Get It, I Really Don’t: iPhone Ballz

This is a painting by artist Finch depicting Strawberry Shortcake riding a My Little Pony after killing all the Ninja Turtles . Frightening. And why is there a Rubik’s Cube stuck in Leonardo’s shoulder? Is that supposed to be some sort of social commentary? Something about puzzle toys being the Achilles’ Shoulder of modern society? I’M NOT GRASPING AT STRAWS YOU’RE GRASPING AT STRAWS. I want a bendy one. I drink your milkshake! I drink it up! Picture [slightlywarped] Thanks to Neill, who’s only solace is knowing the turtles are all attending that great pizza party in the sky.

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Strawberry Shortcake Riding A My Little Pony After Killing The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

This is a mic stand that looks like a robotic hand . I want to smash it with my guitar and set it on fire , just like Jimi Hendrix would’ve. It was designed and built by artist Chris Conte ( THIS JERK ) for Adam Gontier, the front man of Three Days Grace.” Now I’ve never even heard of Three Days Grace, and you better believe I’m not gonna start listening now. As a matter of fact, I bet you $4 if you play their album backwards it’s all about robot worship and cyborg orgies. Not cool, guys, not cool. The greatest mic stand ever made [dvice]

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No Thank You: Terminator Hand Mic Stand

You ever seen a robot-child pulling a kid around in a rickshaw? Now you have. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, “I want to cut its legs off and steal those glasses”. A creepy kid’s ride where they ride other (robot) kids, in the SM City Marikina mall in the Philippines. This is wrong on so many levels, we don’t know where to begin. Damnit, the Philippines. I’ve already got both hands full(!) keeping Japan’s collective robo-boner in check and you go and pull some shit like this. Believe me, you don’t want to follow in the footsteps of Japan (except for the worn-panty vending machines — those things draw hella-tourism). Youtube Thanks to Dj Azer, who would have tripped that kid and stole his wagon.

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Okaaaay: Child Riding In Robot Slave Buggy

Mario and Luigi , best known for plunging shitters and trying to save the Princess from the evil clutches of Bowser , have turned to a life of crime. Specifically, robbing cab drivers. What’s the Mushroom Kingdom coming to ?! At around 4 a.m. on November 1, presumably following a Halloween party, a Staten Island cab driver was assaulted and robbed by four men. It being Halloween, it may have been difficult for the victim to describe the assailants, but two of the men were wearing unmistakable costumes - Mario and Luigi. A surveillance video, which can be viewed on the NYDailyNews , shows two men dressed as Mario and Luigi wrestling a cabbie for his cash while a third man dressed in a tuxedo stood watch. Anybody with information about the true identities of the two has-been heroes should contact Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom. Oh, and tell her the GW sent you. She doesn’t know who I am, and I want you to look stupid. Men Diguised as Mario and Luigi Rob Cab Driver [tomsguide] Thanks to Brian, Aron, wes, Cyke101 and sham, who only cosplay for good.

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Mario And Luigi Rob Cab Driver In New York

Is there anything funnier than tricking a Japanese man into a meeting and then faking the death of everybody else in the room by sniper fire? No. Unlessssss the alleged gunman then bursts in and puts his weapon to the man’s head and pulls the trigger. Seriously, you’re sick, Japan (keep the freaky Hentai coming). Youtube Thanks to Closet Nerd and Harry, whose parents don’t allow them to watch Japanese TV for fear of them becoming morally corrupt.

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Highly Questionable Japanese Sniper Prank

This is a short video from the live-feed at NASA showing the group responsible for bombing the moon celebrating after a job well done. Just watch red shirt there get snubbed by black shirt after initiating a high-five sequence. THEY EVEN MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT. Geez, talk about awkward . I’ve only aborted a high-five once, and that was because I knew the guy didn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom. Seriously bro, I’m not touching your junk. Youtube Thanks to Martyn, who has never been denied a high-five BECAUSE HE WILL RIP YOUR ARM OFF AND DO IT HIMSELF IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

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NASA’s Moon Bombing High-Five Fail

Melissa Catherine Smith-Means (she is too!), 37, of Gaylesville, Alabama, was arrested for child abuse after dragging her unisex child through a Verizon Wireless store using a kiddy- leash . As punishment, Melissa is going to be leashed and dragged down every aisle of a Best Buy. Just sayin’ — it’s Alabama, folks, they do things differently. Like talk and guns. I’ve lived there, I know . Woman Drags Child Through Verizon Store [techeblog] Thanks to trishna87 and gypsyking, who don’t drag anything but their feet. Seriously, stop being so lazy you two.

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You’re Doing It Wrong!: Woman Dragging Leashed Child Through A Verizon Store

Okay, this one is actually legit, but everything after the jump isn’t. They’re the kind of questions that make you want to bathe with a toaster (or SPOILER ALERT : poisonous jellyfish ). I assume some of them are fake, but I sadly guarantee a good portion are serious. And, well, *pouring out a little liquor* it’s been real, humanity. Hit it for a dozen or so of the worst questions ever asked.

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The Worst And Saddest Of Yahoo! Answers

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the story besides it’s of a bunch of Princess Leias having a pillow fight and God has bestowed me with the power of awesomeness. But no need to thank me folks, I did it for myself. So anyway, Darth Vader’s daughter just got pulled over for drunk driving . Police found the mother-of-two Dodds, 28, dressed in white robes with plaited hair, while her husband was wearing robes. “She was dressed as Princess Leia and her husband as Luke Skywalker and they found it was a bit embarrassing to walk the streets of Murton dressed in their costumes. When breathalysed she was more than twice over the legal drink driving limit. Magistrates banned Dodds from driving for 20 months, fined her 255 and ordered her to pay 60 in costs and a 15 victim surcharge. Dear. Mrs Dodds (aka the woman who likes to get drunk and dress as Princess Leia, aka the woman of my dreams), Firstly: if you were my girl, you would never have to drive drunk, because I have droids for that shit. Secondly: I can’t believe your husband (aka Luke Failwalker) didn’t even have the decency to Force choke and/or mind trick the arresting officer. You, princess, are running with the wrong Jedi. Marry Me? Yours, Obi Won Geekologie Woman dressed as Princess Leia of Star Wars stopped for drink driving [telegraph] Thanks to Ross, who once ran over his neighbor’s cat on a speeder bike but it was okay because speeder bikes float.

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Princess Leia Pulled Over For Drunk Driving