Seen here trying to steal my soul with her stare, a Sony employee demonstrates a new “biological” battery capable of turning cellulose into glucose into energy efficiently enough to power an MP3 player. Me? I’m still cool recharging mine via USB, but what do I know? (SPOILER: Everything, I’m a centuries-old warlock). All it takes to power this bio-battery, then, is a bunch of chopped up cardboard immersed in a solution of water and different types of enzymes. The first enzyme breaks the cellulose in the cardboard into glucose, which the second enzyme then eats to produce electricity. It’s basically a little digestive tract that eats used paper products and poops out electrons and water, without relying on any heavy metals or chemicals or anything. Pretty cool, right? Sure, if you don’t mind carrying around a giant bottle of cardboard juice and eyedropping it on the battery every five minutes. Sorry Sony, but you know what you should’ve been working on instead of a battery that runs on cardboard? A battery that breakdances on cardboard. Oh shishi — that ‘lil AA is spinning on his head! Sony’s new termite battery runs on shredded cardboard [dvice] Thanks to paisley pia and Luke, who still power their electronics the old fashioned way: trapping lightning in a jar . OMG, I remember making Zeus batteries!

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It Ate My Fort!: Sony’s Cardboard-Powered Battery

Johan Huibers, who may or may yes need to stop eating spicy food before bed, had a dream that part of his native Holland flooded . So what did he do — wake up and have a cup of coffee? Hell no — he started construction on a “full-size” replica of Noah’s Ark . I, uh, I would have done the coffee thing. Or — OR — gone back to sleep until I had a good dream. The almost-finished vessel you see pictured above is actually Huibers’ second whack at making an ark of his own. The first was a half-sized replica, though this time the Dutch construction company director decided to go whole hog. It’s even seaworthy, and Huibers plans for his ark to float along the Thames in London ahead of the 2012 Olympics. Though we really have no way of knowing, Biblical scholars peg Noah’s Ark as being somewhere around 300 cubits in length, 50 wide and 30 high. In feet, that translates into a vessel 450 feet long — or about the same as a Romulan Bird-of-Prey — and 75 feet wide and 45 high. Johan’s second ark took three years and $1.6-million of his own dough to complete, but, from the look of it, would only take one un-extinguished cigarette to burn to the waterline . What do you know — I guess Noah really did have good reason for leaving the dinosaurs behind! Get it?! Because their sexy asses be smokin’. Mm mm mmm — just thinkin’ about ‘em makes me feel like I got curry in my penis! Hit the jump for an NBC news report.

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Johan’s Ark: Man Dreams Of Apocalypse, Builds Functional (It Floats) Noah’s Ark Replica

As you may or may yes know, I have a special affinity for the Zelda franchise. Maybe it’s how much of Link’s heroism I see in myself, or my penchant for the skin-flute ocarina , but it’s prooooooobably all the pointy ears . God I’m a sucker for pointy ears . Also: ranch dressing. Anyway, this is a cute cosplay gallery of Link and Saria (from OoT) frolicking around in the Lost Woods. Personally, you’d never catch ME running around the Lost Woods with Saria, but that’s because they’re the Lost Woods . You wouldn’t be able to tell up from your own @$$hole! Several more shots, a 30-minute behind-the-scenes video from the shoot, and a link to whole gallery after the jump.

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Link And Saria Cosplay In The Lost Woods

First of all, the only Facebook group you really need to join is Geekologie’s (and NOT The Superficial’s ). But if you’re into joining every group possible you can join this guy’s , whose girlfriend has agreed to let him pirate -theme their house if he gets 1,000,000 fans. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate, and the onlyway I can truely do this is to live aboard a pirate ship, as I am tied into a house and a mortgage with this house, and I dont live anywhere near the sea, the only thing I can do is to turn my house into a massive pirate ship. I already have enough money to buy some wooden slats from B&Q, I just need to get my girlfriend to agree to remortgage the house so that I can afford decking, and masts, and eventually sails. If 1 million people joined this group it would help her understand that this isnt such a bad idea, and lots of people would do it as well, and it would help my dream come true. If you can leave a piratty message on the wall, it would also help. I was going to join but then I saw dude already has 988,756 fans, so he’s practically there. And by ‘there’ I mean on my shit-list. NOBODY OUT PIRATE-HOUSES ME! Facebook Group Thanks to Nikki, Dan, AJ and Lemrin, who all live in ninja-houses and have vowed to burn dude’s pirate house to the ground to prove their stealthy supremacy.

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Guy Needs 1M Facebook Fans And Girlfriend Will Let Him Turn House Into A Pirate Ship

This is a steampunk wedding cake created by Mike’s Amazing Cakes in Seattle, WA and photographed by Libby Bulloff. I want to put my face in it so bad. I heart fondant ! Liz and Austin’s steampunked wedding cake. The metallic gears, doors, rivets, and panels were all made of fondant and were entirely edible. This is probably the baddest-ass wedding cake you will ever see. Respect. Best part: the cake tasted just as decadent as it looked! I had a slice of the lemon layer after photographing it. Anybody else like the title I came up with? Thanks, I thought that was pretty clever myself. Gears Of War: A Steampunk Wedding Cake . Because marriage is like a war or something. Except mine. Mine was like a GW genocide. Hit the jump for a closeup.

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Gears Of War: A Steampunk Wedding Cake

[via gnr8 ]

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Power On Self Test: Beech Wood Flashlight

Jesse Willmon writes: This is a site me and my wife made for a fake iphone made of wood that we use to counteract people’s non-socially-acceptable uses of a real iPhone.

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i-wood, the only phone more precious than the iPhone