We’ve seen steering wheel desks in the past , but never anything of this quality. I mean, it has cupholders . And — AND — an iPad stand . What is this, 2050? Is that a f***ing hover car?! Now granted the desk is only meant for use when in park, but is that gonna stop me from multitasking on the drive to work? No. Actually paying attention to the road so I don’t get pulled over is. Get it? Because I don’t have a license. Don’t tell the po-po! Hit the jump for a couple more crappy quality shots and a link to the Etsy product page.

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Mulitasking: Homemade Steering Wheel Desks

The Flyboard from Zapata Racing is basically a water powered jetpack similar to this one that this guy used to almost eat a dock, except for your feet. So, in summary, exact same thing but strapped to your feet. I guess it’s all a matter of personal taste, are you more of a jet pack or jet boot kind of person? Personally, I couldn’t care less, just as long as it gets me to the moon. “What about a rocket powered buttplug?” Depends — is it impossible to put in backwards? I AIN’T GETTIN’ BURNT LIKE LAST TIME. Hit the jump for a video, including some worthwhile human dolphin action at 0:40.

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The Flyboard: A Water-Powered Jetpack For Your Feet

This is Traxxas’ new 1/7-scale electric XO-1, the first ready-to-run (no assembly required) R/C car capable of doing a real (not scale) 100MPH fresh out of the box . But you’re gonna need an actual raceway to drive the thing, because a Wal-Mart parking lot isn’t gonna cut it at 100MPH. The speed demon goes 0-60 in 2.3 seconds and 100 in 4.92. That’s…pretty fast . So fast you probably won’t even see it hit the wall. It costs $1,100 and requires an iPhone or iPod Touch to plug into the controller to unlock its 100MPH potential and provide a real-time tuning/data-tracking utility. Oh man, all this R/C car talk is really taking me back. My brother Frank and I used to build them from kits growing up. His were always turned out badass, but mine…mine never seemed to work. “Because you’re an idiot.” My brother Frank, ladies and gentlemen! Hit the jump for a video of the thing being demoed on an actual racetrack.

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R/C Car Does 100MPH Right Out Of The Box

Remember the dipshit who drove the Bugatti into a Texas lagoon to “avoid hitting a pelican” except we all know there wasn’t one because brobro never would’ve guessed in a million years some other idiot that thought he was driving a Lamborghini was filming the whole scene? Well now he’s going to trail for insurance fraud. I thought it was supposed to turn into a submarine, I swear! The insurance company claims [auto deal Andy] House borrowed $1 million from a friend to buy the car and then bought insurance on it as a collector’s vehicle, valuing it at more than $2 million. It says he drove it into the swamp to collect the insurance, which was supposed to go to the friend who lent him the purchase money. House says he swerved off the road to avoid hitting a pelican, but the insurance company says there’s no pelican in the video. Plus, it says it went to the scene and found no skid marks, and it further alleges that House “left the vehicle running for over fifteen minutes while it was submerged until it died on its own causing unnecessary damage to the vehicle’s engine.” Not gonna lie, that does smell a little fishy. Get it? The car — it was in a lagoon! That smell’s never gonna come out. But seriously, dude better be praying he doesn’t wind up in jail with any auto enthusiasts. Know what I’m saying? I’m saying he’s gonna get rear-ended. “And void his warranty?!” ZERO PROTECTION PLAN. Hit the jump for the video of the crash (note: salty language) if you didn’t catch it the first time.

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BUSTED!: Guy Who Drove Bugatti Veyron Into Lagoon Going To Trial For Insurance Fraud

Seen here staring at his peen instead of the screen, a man demonstrates a London bar’s new urinal-based video game system while Beatrix Kiddo watches from above with a katana sword. Please Beatrix — please don’t kill my bill! He’s little and couldn’t hurt anyone! The featured game is a downhill slalom in where the pisser controls the direction of their skier with a stream of urine. Mmmm, yellow snow . No word what happens if you pee on the floor, but my guess is probably be asked to leave. It’s not my fault — some guy told me if you piss on the floor you get a bonus level. “What guy?” You know, the little red one that sits on my shoulder and tells me to do naughty things! Hit the jump for a short video of the #1(!!!!) system in bathroom gaming (besides the 3DS).

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Peed For Speed: Urinal Video Games Now A Reality

Nintendo teamed up with West Coast Customs to make two real-life Mario Karts for display at the Los Angeles Auto Show. This is Mario’s classic kart here but there’s a Luigi bee-mobile or whatever after the jump. Both are impressive and I’d pay upwards of $12 for the opportunity to drive one. “Why $12?” Because that’s how much admission to the show costs . I’m gonna steal one and drive it home on the freeway! *peels out going wrong way, gets red-shelled by the po-po* Hit the jump for a couple closeups and the other car, as well as a link to Autoblog’s coverage with even more shots.

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Nintendo x West Coast Customs Make IRL Mario Karts

Look at this picture. You know what these guys have in common? They’re all white BUT REALLY, REALLY TAN. Plus astronauts . And now NASA is hiring new ones. Want to apply with me? I need your clean urine . Here — just soak this pair of underwear and I’ll wring it out when they send me into the bathroom with a cup. NASA will recruit its next astronaut class through the federal government’s USAJobs.gov website. The class of 2009 was the first astronaut class to graduate in a new era of space flight following the final mission of the space shuttle. A new fleet of human spacecraft is in development by commercial companies to deliver crews to the International Space Station. NASA also is developing spacecraft to send humans on missions of exploration far away from our planet. These new astronauts will advance research aboard the space station to benefit life on Earth and develop the knowledge and skills needed for longer flights to explore the solar system. Man, I wanna explore the solar system. I keep having these dreams where I’m an astronaut whose nose is itching so I take off my helmet to scratch it and start suffocating. Then I wake up and have like two seconds to wrestle my roommate off me before he finishes smothering me with a pillow. Jesus, Derek, if you’re gonna try to kill me can you at least do it with pants on? I refuse to go out smothered by a naked man. NASA Kicks Off Application Process For New Astronauts [nasa] Thanks to pirhan, who, instead of applying, is gonna get facial reconstructive surgery to look like someone who did get accepted, then knock them out and take their place the day before a mission. I like the way you think.

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Totally Applying: NASA Hiring New Astronauts

I know the screencap is kind of blurry, but those are guns in the air. Also, THE LEAST COOL PLACE I CAN THINK OF TO PERFORM YOUR METAL GEAR SOLID GUNSPINNING ROUTINE. “Hey mom — don’t come in the living room for the next five minutes.” God, go outside and stand in front of a tree or something, shit! Hit the jump for this guy and a bunch of others, only one of which doesn’t take place in a sad looking bedroom.

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Nice Shootin’ Tex: Guy Recreates Ocelot’s Metal Gear Solid Gunspinning Routines

You might have won this round , but as soon as I figure out how to disguise a horse as a human and train it to not shit while we make our way through the queue line then IT. IS. ON. That’s right, I’m going for the polo. No, no I’m not. But I will eat six hotdogs and try to vom right when the flash goes off. Note: God has really not been feeling me lately and is determined to make this one of the worst weeks of recent life. Blogging from phone because the internet’s out and my car exploded during a stunt. Picture [geeks.thedailywh.at] Thanks to Clark, who claims to have snuck in an entire desktop computer in the mid-90’s and played Rollercoaster Tycoon while riding a rollercoaster but didn’t have the money to pay for the commemorative photo. Uh-oh — no photo, no credit, those are the rules!

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The Definitive ‘Playing A Game While Riding Splash Mountain’ Souvenir Photo

Ever wanted to take a helium balloon to the face and talk funny ride to the edge of space? Me neither. Like I told my mechanic: add rockets or GTFO. “Bloon” is a six-person pod designed by Spanish company zero2infinity that will rise to the edge of the atmosphere, powered by a helium balloon. The cabin holds four passengers and two pilots for the three-hour flight, 36km above the earth’s surface. The flights will launch at night, so passengers can watch the sun rise over the curvature of the earth. While admiring the world from near space, in-flight information about the altitude and range of view will be displayed directly on the pod’s windows. To return to earth, the helium is vented slowly, then the balloon or sail separates from the pod, deploying a parafoil. The pod pops its airbags and is guided in for a landing. Bloon uses zero propellants, so there are no emissions or noise pollution. A trip will set you back ~$168K, making it far more temping to just tie a bunch of helium balloons to a lawn chair and do it yourself. Just don’t forget to wear a fishbowl for a helmet — there’s a lot less oxygen up there. Also: fast food drive-ins, so be sure to eat before take off. Space travel powered by helium balloon [bbcnews] Thanks to Irina, who tried catapulting herself into space but didn’t even make it past the blogosphere. That…is not very far.

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Wheee!: Balloon Rides To The Edge Of Space