Because I have to run to a doctor’s appointment this afternoon (72-hour erection) and I need to get some posts up, here’s a Rube Goldberg machine created by kinetic artist Joseph Herscher to turn a single newspaper page. Damn yeah I’ll copy/paste the process to make this article look huge!: Joseph Herscher drinks his coffee (1), which pulls a string, which yanks a pencil (2), which tips paintings one by one as the balls roll down. The third ball rolls into a shelving unit (3) and swings a ladle, which pours glycerin from a jug into a cup, which combines with potassium and combusts. A fuse catches fire and burns, which releases the pool balls (4) one by one. The fourth ball lands in a hanging green shot glass (5), which turns on the gas. Meanwhile, The fuse (still burning) ignites the gas, which boils the liquid and sends steam into a sponge (6), which becomes heavy and tips, sliding a fly swatter (7) up, which releases a ball, which rolls along the top of the books, knocking the other balls and eventually knocking a Velcro-covered ball. The weight of the Velcro ball tips a book (8) out of the bookcase, which opens it and allows a small marble to roll out of the book and knock a vase (9) off the table. Headphones (10) are pulled by the vase, which releases an orange glass (11), which rolls along the slanted table, sticks to the tape (12) and yanks a pencil in the computer (13). The screen shuts and the computer falls off the table, which pulls a cable, switching on a hair dryer (14), which annoys the hamster (15). He runs, which causes the cage to tip. The pool ball (16) rolls along the top of the cage and drops, which knocks a baking pan (17) off the table, which pulls the hair dyer with it and causes tape (18) to roll across the table, sticking to, and turning, the front page of the newspaper (19). That…sounds pretty complicated. Here’s what I’d do: call 911 and tell them you have a house fire. When the firemen show up, tell them you already put it out it BUT MY GOD ARE THEY GOOD LOOKIN’. Then ask one to turn the page for you. Afterwards, ask them all to take their vests off and pose for the 2013 sexy firemen calendar you’ve been planning. They’ll be flattered, trust me. (I made one last year with Animal Control!) Hit the jump for the impressive machine and a link to NY Time’s interactive image of the process.

Read the original here:
God, Just Train A Pet Like A Normal Person: A Newpaper Page-Turning Rube Goldberg Machine

This is why poor people can’t have nice things. David Derp Dopp won this 2008 Lamborghini Murcielago LP-640 in a convenience store’s “Joe Shmo to Lambo” contest. Theeeeeeen crashed it in a field six hours later. Because that’s what you do with things you win: destroy them . By God I woke up without a Lambo AND I’M GOING TO SLEEP WITHOUT ONE. Dopp was taking family members and friends on joy rides the first evening. He said he took a curve at about 45 mph and “hit some black ice and spun out.” The car jumped a curb and went through a fence before coming to a rest about 75 feet off the road. Neither Dopp nor his passenger was injured. The lime green convertible was being held by his insurance company at a Utah towing yard. It will be sent to an authorized Las Vegas dealer for repairs next week. “I already had offers on it. I’m going to sell it,” David Dopp said Wednesday. “I have bills more important than a Lamborghini. I’ve got a family to support.” Pfft, what bills and family are actually more important than a Lamborghini? Everyone can have bills and a family, but a Lambo? That’s a once in a miserable lifetime opportunity. If there was a contest for a Lambo where you had to alienate your entire family AND pay a fat tax I would enter it. Hello, sis? I HATE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN ARE TROLLS. See? Piece of cake. *dialing grandpa* Hit the jump for a video news report of the sadness.

Here is the original post:
Smooth: Man Wins Lambo, Crashes 6 Hours Later

This is a video of Jean-Yves Blondeau, aka Rollerman ( previously featured in 2007 !) showing just what his 31-wheeled rollerblade suit is capable of. Which, SPOILER: going downhill really f***ing fast. Hit the jump for Captain Deathwish in HD action.

Read the rest here:
Dangerous: Guy With A Suit Made Out Of Rollerblades Flying Down A Mountain, Passing Motorcycle

Picture related: same color sabers. 33-year old ( young? ) David Allen Canterbury was arrested Wednesday night after somebody called 911 because he was swinging two blue lightsabers at customers in an Oregon Toys R Us. Wait…you can get arrested for that? Been there, done that, thought the worst that could happen would be getting asked to leave, amirite?! Officers tried to arrest Canterbury, but he kept swinging the lightsabers at them, Simpson said. One officer tried to use his Taser but the device didn’t work. Another officer used his Taser, but Canterbury knocked one of the wires away with a lightsaber. Whoa whoa whoa — two attempted taserings and they both failed? I never thought I’d say it, but this goofy f***er might have actually been wielding the Force! Hillsboro man held after alleged ‘Star Wars’ light saber assault at Portland Toys R Us [oregonlive] Thanks to DragonKatt and Evil Ares, who have never attacked patrons at a toy store before but have ridden bikes up and down the aisles. Ha, I still do that.

Go here to see the original:
Some Guy Starts Lightsaber Assault At Toys R Us

We’ve seen steering wheel desks in the past , but never anything of this quality. I mean, it has cupholders . And — AND — an iPad stand . What is this, 2050? Is that a f***ing hover car?! Now granted the desk is only meant for use when in park, but is that gonna stop me from multitasking on the drive to work? No. Actually paying attention to the road so I don’t get pulled over is. Get it? Because I don’t have a license. Don’t tell the po-po! Hit the jump for a couple more crappy quality shots and a link to the Etsy product page.

Go here to read the rest:
Mulitasking: Homemade Steering Wheel Desks

The Flyboard from Zapata Racing is basically a water powered jetpack similar to this one that this guy used to almost eat a dock, except for your feet. So, in summary, exact same thing but strapped to your feet. I guess it’s all a matter of personal taste, are you more of a jet pack or jet boot kind of person? Personally, I couldn’t care less, just as long as it gets me to the moon. “What about a rocket powered buttplug?” Depends — is it impossible to put in backwards? I AIN’T GETTIN’ BURNT LIKE LAST TIME. Hit the jump for a video, including some worthwhile human dolphin action at 0:40.

Read the rest here:
The Flyboard: A Water-Powered Jetpack For Your Feet

This is Traxxas’ new 1/7-scale electric XO-1, the first ready-to-run (no assembly required) R/C car capable of doing a real (not scale) 100MPH fresh out of the box . But you’re gonna need an actual raceway to drive the thing, because a Wal-Mart parking lot isn’t gonna cut it at 100MPH. The speed demon goes 0-60 in 2.3 seconds and 100 in 4.92. That’s…pretty fast . So fast you probably won’t even see it hit the wall. It costs $1,100 and requires an iPhone or iPod Touch to plug into the controller to unlock its 100MPH potential and provide a real-time tuning/data-tracking utility. Oh man, all this R/C car talk is really taking me back. My brother Frank and I used to build them from kits growing up. His were always turned out badass, but mine…mine never seemed to work. “Because you’re an idiot.” My brother Frank, ladies and gentlemen! Hit the jump for a video of the thing being demoed on an actual racetrack.

Excerpt from:
R/C Car Does 100MPH Right Out Of The Box

Remember the dipshit who drove the Bugatti into a Texas lagoon to “avoid hitting a pelican” except we all know there wasn’t one because brobro never would’ve guessed in a million years some other idiot that thought he was driving a Lamborghini was filming the whole scene? Well now he’s going to trail for insurance fraud. I thought it was supposed to turn into a submarine, I swear! The insurance company claims [auto deal Andy] House borrowed $1 million from a friend to buy the car and then bought insurance on it as a collector’s vehicle, valuing it at more than $2 million. It says he drove it into the swamp to collect the insurance, which was supposed to go to the friend who lent him the purchase money. House says he swerved off the road to avoid hitting a pelican, but the insurance company says there’s no pelican in the video. Plus, it says it went to the scene and found no skid marks, and it further alleges that House “left the vehicle running for over fifteen minutes while it was submerged until it died on its own causing unnecessary damage to the vehicle’s engine.” Not gonna lie, that does smell a little fishy. Get it? The car — it was in a lagoon! That smell’s never gonna come out. But seriously, dude better be praying he doesn’t wind up in jail with any auto enthusiasts. Know what I’m saying? I’m saying he’s gonna get rear-ended. “And void his warranty?!” ZERO PROTECTION PLAN. Hit the jump for the video of the crash (note: salty language) if you didn’t catch it the first time.

Read more from the original source:
BUSTED!: Guy Who Drove Bugatti Veyron Into Lagoon Going To Trial For Insurance Fraud

Seen here staring at his peen instead of the screen, a man demonstrates a London bar’s new urinal-based video game system while Beatrix Kiddo watches from above with a katana sword. Please Beatrix — please don’t kill my bill! He’s little and couldn’t hurt anyone! The featured game is a downhill slalom in where the pisser controls the direction of their skier with a stream of urine. Mmmm, yellow snow . No word what happens if you pee on the floor, but my guess is probably be asked to leave. It’s not my fault — some guy told me if you piss on the floor you get a bonus level. “What guy?” You know, the little red one that sits on my shoulder and tells me to do naughty things! Hit the jump for a short video of the #1(!!!!) system in bathroom gaming (besides the 3DS).

Follow this link:
Peed For Speed: Urinal Video Games Now A Reality

Nintendo teamed up with West Coast Customs to make two real-life Mario Karts for display at the Los Angeles Auto Show. This is Mario’s classic kart here but there’s a Luigi bee-mobile or whatever after the jump. Both are impressive and I’d pay upwards of $12 for the opportunity to drive one. “Why $12?” Because that’s how much admission to the show costs . I’m gonna steal one and drive it home on the freeway! *peels out going wrong way, gets red-shelled by the po-po* Hit the jump for a couple closeups and the other car, as well as a link to Autoblog’s coverage with even more shots.

Original post:
Nintendo x West Coast Customs Make IRL Mario Karts