LEGO, realizing they dun goofed targeting their entire product line to boys , is releasing a line of playsets in 2012 targeted specifically to little ladies. It’s called ‘Friends’, which is a terrible name but I can look past that because I just saw a guy pushing an ice cream cart like a block further. *running out the door* Mickey face and an orange push-pop! Lego Friends features five female minifig characters who are — you guessed it — friends. Their occupations include designer, musician, veterinarian and inventor, and there are playsets for both home and work. Hey, anything’s better than playing with Barbie, amirite? WRONG. I know a lot of people want to give Barbie a bad rap for her unrealistic proportions and shit, but come on, I had some beefy looking G.I. Joe’s growing up and I’m fat as f*** right now. Never once have I starved myself or worked out in a gym. That’s all true. Besides, there are plenty of other things worse for a girl to be playing with. Namely: matches or a parent’s handgun. Food for thought. “You’re retarded.” They said only borderline! Hit the jump for a sampling of the future sets.

Originally posted here:
LEGO ‘Friends’: A LEGO Toy Line For Girls

Lunch Bugs are sandwich bags with bugs printed on them to help deter lunch theft. They’re basically a variation of the already-existing mold-bags and will run you $7 for a 24-pack. That makes them almost $0.30 apiece, which is a little steep for a bag (I pay $0.99 for snack pack Doritos and get a meal AND condom out of the deal). Still, maybe lunch theft is serious problem at your work. Don’t get me wrong, it is at mine too, I’ve just learned to deal with it. GW uses ‘announce he put boogers in his sandwich’. It’s super effective! Product Site Thanks to Leftover, who just hides sandwiches in the middle of a big tub of salad. Smart.

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Sandwich Bags, Now With More Printed Bugs

If I lost an arm I can’t say I’d run out to have the thing replaced with a tentacle . That’s just asking for people to stare (and children to run screaming). No, I’d opt for a laser cannon before anything else. You know, or a plastic cutlass if times are tough. Still, maybe you’d want one. Hey, I’m not here to judge, I’m here to — wait, why am I here? I was told there’d be free beer ! Kaylene Kau’s prosthetic arm isn’t your typical robot-arm. It doesn’t even have fingers — it’s flexible tentacle design would make for an excellent replacement hand for wielding a lightsaber. As a part of a student project, Kau was asked to “push the boundaries of current upper-limb prosthetic design.” Powered by a small motor and a set of cables, the tentacle shaped prosthetic arm curls its claw to grip objects. You know what? I change my mind about the whole laser cannon thing. I think I want a leg for an arm instead. That way I could run on all threes like a tricycle and hopefully win races. “GW, you sound mentally handicapped”. Special Olympics gold, baby! Hit the jump for a bunch more shots of the perfect arm to match your Cthulhu face.

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Just Like Doc Ock!: Prosthetic Tentacle Arms

Can you say YOUR armed forces’ supercomputer was built entirely out of gaming consoles by the same company who invented the Walkman ? I think not! Enter the Air Force’s 1,760 Playstation 3 supercomputer, allegedly the 33rd largest supercomputer IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.* Yes, the Air Force’s crazy PS3 computer consists of all those gaming consoles, stripped of their Blu-ray functionality, connected to 168 seperate graphical processing units and 84 coordinating servers. It’s used “for things like research into AI, fast processing of satellite pictures and the enhancement of radar.” Nice, I assume it can still stream Netflix though, on account of the movie on the screen there. AND YOU BETTER HAVE NOT PAID FOR 1,760 SUBSCRIPTIONS EITHER, AIR FORCE. You think I won’t whip your ass in some Peggle? BRING IT, ACE! *Alien supercomputers excluded. The Air Force’s PlayStation 3 supercomputer [dvice]

Original post:
Air Force Builds 1,760 PS3 Supercomputer

Note: I censor-barred the image (in case you couldn’t tell) but you can hit the jump for a NSFW version of what the pasties actually look like if you want. Just don’t come crying to me if your mom catches you and you end up grounded from the internet. Flying Pasties are 2-3mm thick rubber pasties that prevent the new airport security scanners from getting a good look at your tomatoes. Or your lettuce wrap . Sets start at $17 and come with catchy slogans (that airport personnel won’t be able to read so what’s the point?) like, “private” and “only my boyfriend sees me naked.” Did I mention they also sell a junk-covering male version for $10? Because they do. Alternatively, you can use the same product I do. It’s called not giving a shit. Available everywhere. Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a link to the product site.

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This Ain’t A Free Peep Show!: Flying Pasties Keep Privates Private From Airport Security

Note: I censor-barred the image (in case you couldn’t tell) but you can hit the jump for a NSFW version of what the pasties actually look like if you want. Just don’t come crying to me if your mom catches you and you end up grounded from the internet. Flying Pasties are 2-3mm thick rubber pasties that prevent the new airport security scanners from getting a good look at your tomatoes. Or your lettuce wrap . Sets start at $17 and come with catchy slogans (that airport personnel won’t be able to read so what’s the point?) like, “private” and “only my boyfriend sees me naked.” Did I mention they also sell a junk-covering male version for $10? Because they do. Alternatively, you can use the same product I do. It’s called not giving a shit. Available everywhere. Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a link to the product site.

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This Ain’t A Free Peep Show!: Flying Pasties Keep Privates Private From Airport Security

When it comes to taking down perps , you don’t always want to shoot them in the face and have their brains explode all over the wall. Wait — you don’t?! No, you don’t . Sometimes you’re gonna need to torture them first to gain vital information. Aaaaaah, right right right! Tactical Balls - Rolling Illumination and Disorientation Device. [TACTBAL] Designed for use by Law Enforcement agencies these tactical balls are switched on and rolled into an area to distract the culprit and give the police essential moments to move in and take whatever action they deem to be necessary. Supplied in sets of 3 with a belt pouch to house them, the tactical balls will each run for up to 20 hours on 2 x CR2032 batteries (supplied), delivering an output of > 13,000 MCD. I don’t know how bright 13,000 MCD is, but I guess it’s pretty bright. Still, what’s wrong with just using fireworks? That was a trick question, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with using fireworks. And that goes for replacing the candles on a birthday cake too. Now make a wish! I wish I could see again. Product Site Thanks to stubags, who distracts culprits with his actual balls. You can’t help but look!

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Surprise!: Non-Lethal Tactical Blinky Balls