Your wife is gonna be PISSED when she finds out you blew up the sewing machine. The British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) were able to hack an al-Qaeda website showing followers how to make homemade bombs , and replaced the instructions with recipes for “The Best Cupcakes in America”. I’m a sucker for red velvet! When followers tried to download the 67-page colour magazine, instead of instructions about how to “Make a bomb in the Kitchen of your Mom” by “The AQ Chef” they were greeted with garbled computer code. The code, which had been inserted into the original magazine by the British intelligence hackers, was actually a web page of recipes for “The Best Cupcakes in America” published by the Ellen DeGeneres chat show. It included a recipe for the Mojito Cupcake - “made of white rum cake and draped in vanilla buttercream”- and the Rocky Road Cupcake - “warning: sugar rush ahead!” Be honest — who else is craving cupcakes now? Ha — everyone. Oh — except one dude in the back. “I’m on a diet, I can only eat muffins.” *lifting shirt to reveal muffin-top* COME GETCHA SOME! *truffle shuffle* MI6 attacks al-Qaeda in ‘Operation Cupcake’ [telegraph] Thanks to Christine, who claims to have once had a cupcake with a Snickers bar baked inside. WOW, could I be any more jealous?! SPOILER: Only if it had sprinkles.

Link:
British Gov. Hacks al-Qaeda Website, Replaces Bomb Making How-To w/ Cupcake Recipe

Because there aren’t enough trolls on the internet already, some of the dumber Facebook users are actually forced to troll themselves from time to time (read: all the time, always). Thankfully, for those of us that aren’t ashamed to laugh at humanity’s spiraling downfall, ‘Literally Unbelievable’ is a blog that documents these gems of human sadness . Basically it goes like this: somebody links to an article from The Onion (A GIANT SATIRICAL NEWS ORGANIZATION) believing it’s real, along with an expression of their outrage (usually in the form of misspelled drivel), then a bunch of other idiots jump on the dumbf*** bandwagon as it goes careening down a mountain. It’s great. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me put a gun in my mouth. Literally Unbelievable on Tumblr Thanks to April (O’Neil?!?!) and Stegosoreass *wink* , who don’t believe everything they read unless it’s on Geekologie because I’d never lie to you. I HAVE TO PAY FOR AN EXTRA SEAT ON AIRPLANES JUST FOR MY PECKER.

Link:
You’re So Dumb It Pains Me: Facebook Users That Think The Onion’s Articles Are Real

Simple , you just go to Hackertyper.net , change the custom parameters however see fit, then wait for somebody to start watching over your shoulder. When they do, start pounding away on your keyboard like a child throwing a temper-tantrum, and, PRESTO, lines of code out the ass! Then they’ll be all “whoa bro, is this… The Matrix? ” Just kidding, they’ll probably be all, “hackertype? SEEN IT.” Then you’ll look stupid. And not just because after patting you on a back they left a ‘KICK ME’ sign, but it’s still there and I am going to pretend like you’re clenching a football between your buttcheeks. Hackertyper.net Thanks to Anders and wingnut, who actually are L337 haxors and agree the Playstation attack was likely an attempt to steal my trophies. OH GOD NOT MY PLATINUMS!

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How To: Pretend Like You’re A L337 Haxor

Katamari Damacy, the game where you roll over thing to collect them and grow bigger and bigger can now be played on any website , thanks to a clever bit of code. Contra ? Not yet, BUT I’M WORKING ON IT. How does it work? Short version: css transforms (for things stuck to the katamari), canvas (drawing the katamari), and z-index (illusion of depth). Long version: The bookmarklet loads jQuery and kh.js into the current page. jQuery is used mostly for .offset() and .css(). kh.js is where all the action happens: * Splits all the text on the page into words/spans. (StickyNodes::addWords) * Builds a grid data structure so that intersections with elements can be found quickly (StickyNodes::finalize). Essentially grid[floor(x / 100)][floor(y / 100)] is a list of elements in a 100×100 pixel block. This should probably be an R-tree, but the hot-spot in this program is definitely in the rendering. * The ball and stripes are drawn in a canvas that gets moved around the page (i.e. position: absolute; left: x; top: y;). See PlayerBall::drawBall. * When an element is attached to the katamari, a clone is made. The original element is hidden. The new element is moved around by setting -webkit-transform. The transform rotates the element about the rolling axis of the katamari and scales the element to make it look like it’s coming out of the page. See PlayerBall::drawAttached, transform_test.html, and transform_test2.html. Did that say magic? I’m going to assume that just said magic. WHICH THE INTERNET IS BY THE WAY . Now, go to THIS PAGE , copy the code from the box, go to the website you want to play on, paste the code in the address bar and get ready to get your game on at work! And after that? Rsum-updating. Katamari Hack (works best in Google Chrome or Firefox 4) via Katamari Hack rolls across your favorite websites, leaving swath of HTML5 destruction in its wake [engadget] Thanks to Jonathan, blake and Erin, who don’t roll anything but sushi. OH GREAT, NOW I’M GONNA BE WANTING SOME ALL DAY.

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Play Katamari Damacy On Any Website

This is a fake-ass commercial for Super Harmony, an eHarmony knock-off for people who are or want to date superheroes/villains (NOT ugly people ). I tried applying, but they were all, “dammit GW, you’re more of a demigod than a superhero .” And I was all, “I LIKE DUDES IN TIGHTS!” The video isn’t particularly knee-slapping, but it did have a couple moments. What it didn’t have was Emma Frost, Rogue or Supergirl in the dating pool, making it far less a pool you’d actually want to get in, and more of a lukewarm hot-tub filled with superdudes daring each other to take their bottoms off. *dives in off patio lounger* Hit the jump for 2:30 of superdatin’.

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Super Harmony: eHarmony For Superheroes

Apparently a new rent-a-girlfriend (not to be confused with rent-a-gamerfriend ) website in France is causing a stir, with some claiming it’s a glorified escort service, and others claiming it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to them. Spoil yourself, rent a girlfriend! This is the line French site Loueunepetiteamie.com uses to convince male visitors to legally rent a female friend, for an hour, an evening, a night or for a weekend. Tired of being alone? Are you looking for a female companion who can spoil you and make you feel relaxed? Have you tried a bunch of dating sites that left you disappointed? Don’t worry, help is just a few clicks away - Loue Une Petite Amie, which translates as “rent a little girlfriend” actually allows guys to rent female companions, legally! The French website assures its clients they have nothing to fear from the law, because this isn’t actually prostitution, but a simple case of renting a person…which apparently isn’t illegal in France. Loue Une Petite Amie — “rent a little girlfriend”, that’s cute. But if you sign up and they send you anybody taller than a stepping stool I’d be piiiiiiiiiiissed. YOU SAID LITTLE, I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A SMURF. 3 CRAB-APPLES HIGH DAMMIT! Controversial Rent-a-Girlfriend Website Proves Big Hit in France [odditycentral]

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French ‘Rent-A-Girlfriend’ Website A Success

Proving that the Geekologie fanpage’s precious status updates might not be as safe as previously thought, an unknown hacker took control of Mark Zuckerburg’s official Facebook fanpage this week, probably by guessing his password, “administrator”. Good one Mark, but I would’ve gone with “IOWNTHISBITCH111″. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s fan page was hacked Tuesday — a high-profile breach on a site that constantly faces scrutiny about its handling of its members private data. “It’s not clear if he was careless with his password, was phished, or sat down in a Starbucks and got sidejacked while using an unencrypted wireless network,”….”However it happened, it’s left egg on his face just when Facebook wants to reassure users that it takes security and privacy seriously.” While the method of attack is still unclear, it’s crystal clear that Mark Zuckerburg has 2,836,752 more Facebook fans than Geekologie, making me question my entire existence. WTF DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! “Hepatitis?” You said it not me! Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook page hacked [cnn] and Geekologie’s Presence on the Faceybooks Thanks to Evil Ares, who, while certainly evil, isn’t ‘hack-a-Facebook-fanpage’ evil. Good to know.

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Why Am I Not Surprised?: Mark Zuckerberg’s Official Facebook Fanpage Gets Hacked

It took awhile (is Twitter dead already? I have no idea), but we were finally able to score the Geekologie Twitter page from whoever started it. It wasn’t easy, and many Bothans died in the process, but hopefully it’ll be worth it. Especially now since I’ll be able to tweet shots of all the drinks I’ll be downing tonight and you can pretend you’re my liver. “Whee, you’re hurting me!” HAHA, what part of “SHUT UP AND MAKE ROOM FOR A SHOT” did you not understand?! Anyway, I’ve been auto-populating the page with Geekologie posts for a couple weeks now, but I’m gonna hit the ground running stumbling and keep you abreast ( or two ) of WTF else is going on in the land of Geekologie. Don’t expect it all to make sense, but you can expect it all to be hastily written from my phone while waiting in line for a bathroom at the bar. F*** it, I’m peeing on a wall. The party starts….NOW. Geekologie on Twitters and Geekologie on Faceybook

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Geekologie: Now With More Drunken Tweets

Note: Full-res version of the chart available HERE . I don’t really care if you friend your parents on Facebook or not but you should join the GEEKOLOGIE FAN PAGE to receive up to the minute details on my drinking. That said, you should never friend your parents on Facebook unless they’re not savvy enough to realize you put them on the most restricted profile possible. I’m talking like nothing is clickable and a profile picture doesn’t even show up. Because the last thing you want to do is hurt your parents’ feelings. They did make you after all. Mistakenly, but still. Flowchart: Should You Friend Your Parents on Facebook? [coolmaterial] via Should You Accept Mom & Dad’s Facebook Friend Request? [mashable] Thanks to Fally, who told her parents she forgot her Facebook password and doesn’t use it anymore. Good one!

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Should You Friend Your Parents On Facebook — The Flow Chart (SPOILER: No, Never)

Unhear It is a website that plays random-ass remixes to help get the song that’s stuck in your head unstuck . Granted it’s just replacing it with another , but still. Maybe it’ll be better than ♫ the song that never ends — yes it goes on and on my friend, some people staaaarted singing it not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just BECAUSE I AM A JERK ♫ Have fun with that one, suckers! We created this site for those of you that have a song stuck in your head and you can’t get it out no matter what you do. Using the latest in reverse-auditory-melodic-unstickification technology, we’ve been able to allow our users to “unhear” songs by hearing equally catchy songs. So really all we’re doing is making you forget your old song by replacing it with another one… sorry. Pretty cool, but I just invented Unsee It. Basically it replaces the mental image of whatever scarring thing I just showed you with another, much more traumatizing image. Check it: close your eyes and pretend you just saw a robot wielding a knife. Scary right? BOOM — two old geezers having intercourse! Haha, no need to thank me. Unhear It Thanks to SharaSue, who probably wishes she could unread that last paragraph. Two words: shots, lots

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Got A Ditty Stuck In Your Head? Unhear It!