If you haven’t already seen it, this is a video of a shitty high school science teacher dropping a goldfish in liquid nitrogen , then returning it to water where it “reanimates” itself. The goldfish survived due to the Leidenfrost Effect, which allowed this REAL scientist to dip his hand in liquid nitrogen and it not break off and shatter (follow that link for more info). So my question is this, Special Ed — if you believe in science so much, why’d you use a goldfish instead of your own hand ? I’ll tell you why — because you’re a sissy. ADMIT IT — ADMIT YOU DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IN SCIENCE! *teacher sobbing* “It’s all true — the drama department was overstaffed!” Hit the jump for the that was entirely unnecessary.

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Crappy Science Teacher ‘Reanimates’ Goldfish After Dropping In Liquid Nitrogen

Seen here looking suspiciously like it was made out of foam-board and an old computer monitor, a diamond and jewel dispensing ATM participates (possibly unwillingly — ATMs are hard to read sometimes) in a ribbon-cutting ceremony in India. Although, truthfully, they’re not actually ATMs, just jewelry vending machines . OLD IDEA IS OLD — 25 rings. The Gitanjali Group, which claims to be the world’s biggest integrated manufacturer of branded jewelry, opened the machine in a luxury shopping mall in the city Sunday and said that it already served a “substantial number of customers.” With prices ranging from 1,000 rupees ($20.17) to 30,000 rupees, customers can pay by cash or credit card for products ranging from gold coins etched with an image of Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of wealth, to diamond-studded pendants in the shape of a swastika, which in India is an ancient religious symbol of unity. So I guess jewelry-dispensing ATMs ($20 to $600? That…doesn’t sound like very quality jewelry) are the new gold-dispensing ATMs . Me? I’m this year’s knowledge -dispensing ATM. Just kidding, but for a quarter I will tell you a secret. “Fine.” I don’t like olives. “That’s not a secret!” …Because I’ve eaten one that’s been between another man’s buttcheeks. College, amirite?! “Absolutely f***ing not.” Right. World’s First Diamond-Dispensing ATM Launches in India [foxnews] Thanks to Lauren, who doesn’t buy jewelry, jewelry is bought for her. Oh man, I saved up like $220 to buy a highschool girlfriend a necklace from Tiffany & Co. and then spent it on an R/C car instead and called her to break up and told her it was because I was moving out of town even though we both knew it was because her eyes were too far apart.

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Of Course: Diamond-Dispensing ATMs

Girl them some funky-ass nips! Because Apple doesn’t want you poking and prodding around inside their (read: your) products, if you send them your iPhone 4 to be repaired it’ll now be returned with harder-to-remove screws . WHAT THE CRAPPLE, APPLE?! This is to make it impossible to open the iPhone and tinker around inside it. Granted, most people have no real reason to ever do this, but a key part of ownership of something is having the ability to do what you want to it. By changing something you own in such a way after you’ve bought it, Apple is removing your ability to fully use your product. Pfft, who the hell designs a screw-head that looks like a woman’s flowery sphincter anyways!? *ahem* Steve. You krinkier than a butthole fulla iPods. Apple is replacing screws in iPhones to make them impossible to open [dvice] Thanks to Phil, who opens his iPhone the old fashioned way: dropping it on the bathroom floor trying to answer a call while pissing.

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Screwed!: Apple’s iPhone Repair Will Replace Your Screws With Harder To Remove Ones

Remember when Hustler announced they were making a 3-D parody of Avatar and it was gonna be the company’s most costly production to date? Well it looks like the number to beat was $200, because this thing looks like a giant Na’vi turd. And not a golden one like that goose in the fairy tale lays, oh no — I’m talking about a stinking pile an elephant wouldn’t even come near for fear of never forgetting. You see, elephants can’t booze like we can, which is why they have such good memories. Also, why I never want to come back as an elephant. SFW trailer for the POS after the jump.

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Looks Booboo: First Glimpse Of Avatar Pr0n

The Snazzy Napper is a real-ass product that, despite the name, isn’t really very snazzy (Bedazzle that shit, God!). What it is is a piece of cheap fabric you velcro around your head so you can rest in peace (I’ll kill you!) while you travel. Did I mention it has a hole for your nose so you don’t suffocate in how stupid you look? Because it does. Interested but don’t want to spend your hard earned $15? No problem! Here’s what you do: close your f***ing eyes. Hit the jump for a commercial and get ready to count some Z’s!

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Nap AND Look Cool With The Snazzy Napper

Did you know Super Mario 3 was actually just a play ? I did, because I’m observant. Yeah, CSI wanted me to join their team but I turned them down because I don’t do dead bodies . Figuratively or literally. Sure I poked a run-over opossum with a stick once BUT ONLY CAUSE HE WAS GIVING ME THE STINK-EYE. Super Mario Bros 3 Never Happened [animenews] Thanks to GuamOtoko, who played a flying turtle and said all the hoisting up and down made him puke.

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Conspiracy!: Super Mario 3 Never Happened

So yeah, it turns out the questionably honorable judge (Tomas Norstrom) in the recent Pirate Bay trial is “a member of the Swedish Copyright Association and sits on the board of Swedish Association for the Protection of Industrial Property”. How did this even happen? Hint: Swedish Fish . Love those things. Peter Althin, the lawyer for TPB cofounder Peter Sunde, said he’s asking the Swedish appeals court to consider ordering a retrial based on the judge’s possible bias, the BBC reports. “The judge in one of Sweden’s most high profile case ever is also a member of an interest organisation for one side and associates with the prosecution trial lawyers in his free time? That is inexcusable corruption. Wow, I don’t even know where to being with — ORDER IN THE BLOG! ORDER IN THE BLOG! Bailiff, remove this unruly commenter from my blogroom. Then come back and let me touch your gun. Now, where were we? Oh right — recess. Who’s down for hopscotch?! Pirate Bay judge is member of Copyright Association [zdnet] Thanks to Matty, who is now welcome to join my pirate crew — provided he pass the three trials first.

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Fair Trial Fail: Judge In Pirate Bay Case A Member Of Swedish Copyright Association