According to some scientists, this is photographic evidence of flowing wa-wa on Mars . How they can assume it’s water and not acidic martian urine is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do WITH NOT ADHERING TO THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD. Great, you’re gonna make us look like a bunch of astrologers. A sequence of images from the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter show many long, dark “tendrils” a few metres wide. They emerge between rocky outcrops and flow hundreds of metres down steep slopes towards the plains below. They appear on hillsides warmed by the summer sun, flow around obstacles and sometimes split or merge, but when winter returns, the tendrils fade away. This suggests that they are made of thawing mud, say the researchers. Now I know what you’re thinking: “OMG — we should bulldoze the entire mountain range and build a water park!” Haha — fret not, my little water-winged friend, I’m already two steps ahead of you. *shows off hand-painted ‘WATER SLIDES ARE TOPPLES ONLY’ sign* “Um, what’re topples?” One more shot not from directly above after the jump.

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I Smell A Slip ‘n Slide!: Flowing Water On Mars

These are actual photographs of water droplets falling in front of a print of MC Escher’s iconic ‘ Relativity ‘. There’s a shot of the reddit photographer Smsilton’s setup after the jump if you want to see how it was made, which, amazingly, didn’t involve trapping a wizard in an hourglass and forcing him to freeze time. Or did it? I SAID SHOW ME THE HOURGLASS! Oh God Gandalf nooooooooooooooo!! Hit the jump for the setup, which may or may yes have involved several stacks of CD’s.

Excerpt from:
Water Drop Falling In Front Of MC Escher Print

This is a brief clip from the Fox 5 San Diego morning news (the same studio from this April Fools’ prank ) of a guy opening the show with one of those water-powered jetpacks . Unfortunately, he opted to not take the training course prior to operation and ends up crashing into the dock. Theeeeeeeen the entire news studio laughs at him. Needless to say, Captain Woopsie Daisy won’t be getting his water wings pin anytime soon. Hit the jump for the woopsie-daisy in action. Also, Kevin Jonas : when we get our hands on one of these things, you get to go first.

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HAHA!: Water Jetpack Morning News Fail

F***in’ water — how does it work? This is a video of water doing its thing (being wet? I have no idea) at 7,000 frames per second . It…looks drinkable. The water that comes out of the tap in my apartment? Brown. It’s so bad it’s actually stained the floor of the bathtub. Or is that because I pee in it? The world may never know! (It’s because I pee in it, derder) Hit the jump for the hypnotic wa-wa in action.

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Elemental Sorcery: Water Shot At 7,000 FPS

Note: Video that you may have already seen is after the jump. Seen here looking colder than an Antarctic witch’s nips, Youtube user samantha683 prepares to throw a cupful of boiling water into the -30C (-22F) air and show you what happens. SPOILER: she accidentally hits the cameraman and melts his face off. No, no she doesn’t. The water just instantly turns to dust. Not real dust though because real dust is mostly dead skin cells and fly @$$holes — it just looks like dust. And you know what else looks like dust? Nothing, it’s pretty unique. Belly button lint isn’t though, which is how I managed to pack my navel with dingleberries and convince my girlfriend to pick them out. Hit the jump and watch the magic in action.

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Ashes To Ashes, Hot Water To…Dust?

What exactly is a lift service? Is that like a tow truck? Because I do need my neighbor’s pedo-van towed again. Still, interesting business combo you’ve got there, Mega Man . But why only Canadian water? You know you’re hurting business by not offering any imported options, right? Because I only get my driveway sprayed with ancient Antarctic glacier water. Besides, that Canadian water Mega Man’s shooting doesn’t even look like clean. It looks… milky . See where I’m going with this? I peed in the coffee pot in your break room! Mega Man Only Uses Canadian Water [buzzfeed] Thanks to Rygar, who may or may yes run a yo-yo repair shop and salon.

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Hero No More (Did Dr. Wily Die?): Mega Man’s Power Washing And Lift Service

Some would argue scientists wouldn’t use terminology like butt-ton, but those people are wrong and obviously don’t know any scientists personally. They’re regular people just like you and me except they make love with lab coats and safety goggles on. So yeah, apparently there might be a whole ass-load of water on the moon . Maybe even enough to build lunar pools . MARCO! When NASA blasted a hole in the moon last year in search of water, scientists figured there would be a splash. They just didn’t know how big. Now new results from the Hollywood-esque moonshot reveal lots of water in a crater where the sun never shines — 41 gallons of ice and vapor. The estimate represents only what scientists can see from the debris plume that was kicked up from the high-speed crash near the south pole by a NASA spacecraft on Oct. 9, 2009. Mission chief scientist Anthony Colaprete of the NASA Ames Research Center calculates there could be 1 billion gallons of water in the crater that was hit — enough to fill 1,500 Olympic-sized swimming pools. Scientists hope that the discovery of abundant water may make a moon outpost a reality some day (hopefully before earth explodes). The GW hopes that he’ll be able to get there first and ship all the moon-water back to earth which he’ll sell to rich people for $2,000/bottle. Or — OR — just sell tap-water and SAY it’s moon-water , which… GET YOUR MOON-WATER HERE, FRESH FROM THE CRATER! CURES ACNE AND OBESITY! CHOCK FULL OF VITAMINS AND SPACE-CRYSTALS. FILTERED AND TINTED BROWN FOR THAT “FRESH FROM AN L.A. TAP” TASTE! COME TAKE A LOOK UNDER MY MICROSCOPE AND SEE THE MAGIC OF SPACE-WATER! OR *spit-take* JESUS — WHAT ARE THOSE, NEMATODES?! Last year’s moonshot splashed up lots of water [yahoonews]

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Scientists: "Butt-Ton Of Water On The Moon"

This isn’t particularly NEW news because we mentioned it back in 2006 when you weren’t even kneehigh to a tadpole yet, but we’ve got video this time. And video, as you may well know, are the words of the future . So yeah, a Japanese pool that can create shapes out of waves. That’s a kidney there. *whispering* Okay, my producer just told me this isn’t a kidney, it’s a heart. Haha, actually — it may in fact be a pancreas. It uses computer-controlled actuators that move the water in perfect synchronization. The computer software uses fluid dynamics algorithms to calculate the necessary motions. The whole think looks like a computer rendering, but it’s real. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Finally, a way to write love letters to Ariel without smearing the ink! She, uh — she still can’t talk, right? Hit for a worthwhile video of the magic in action.

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Magic Pool Creates Shapes Out Of Waves

Luxury water shouldn’t exist . As far as I’m concerned, there should only be two grades of water: frugal (that’s brown and might make you sick), and plain. We don’t need anything higher than that besides beer . The luxury bottled water comes in five colors which represent different themes: Red (friendship), Pink (cute), yellow (heartful), green (wish) and lavender (sweet). You can buy all five for $500 or individually at $100 a pop $100/bottle?! You could drink nothing but Magical brand unicorn milk for cheaper! I should know, I’m an authorized dealer. Just sayin’ folks, $79/gallon . Note: GW not responsible for those who claim his unicorn milk is actually spoiled 2%. Those chunks contain the magic! Hello Kitty Luxury Water [kittyhell] Thanks to mud, who, fun fact: is just water and dirt mixed together.

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It’s All I Drink: $100/Bottle Hello Kitty Water

Note: This picture is small and I had to crop it click HERE to see the sadness in depressing high-resolution. This is a shot of a wave crashing in Orange Beach, Alabama . As you can see, it looks like absolute crap, which really got me thinking: there’s probably a lot of whale shit in the ocean , and I should stop drinking beach water. But it’s so salty! Eyewitness: BP oil spill [guardian] Thanks to Uncle Fester, who may or may not have touched Pugsley inappropriately (geez, just look at the guy).

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So Much For Bodysurfing: Alabama Oil Waves