This is a video of a guy who made a fully functional replica of Ezio’s hidden blade from Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. It’s activated by a ring worn on the finger and locks into place once extended, but retracts with another twitch of the finger. Obviously, I must have one. No — two. Plus Wolverine claws (I live in a really bad part of town). Based on a dual action Out The Front (OTF) Mechanism with a ring driven ratcheting pulley system to index the OTF Mech. Blade locks in both the extended and retracted positions and can be extended and retracted regardless of arm orientation (no gravity/arm shake required). You just have to see it in action, it’s amazing. What’s not amazing is guy’s camerawork, which doesn’t do the blade anywhere near the justice it deserves. You made a functional hidden blade, now make a f***ing tripod. Amirite guys? High-five! *SNIKT* Haha, you’re right-handed anyways. Hit the jump for the blade (which is actually plastic because that’s how good dude is at assassinations) in action.

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MUST HAVE: Guy Makes Fully Functional Hidden Blade From Assassin’s Creed

So Porsche has decided to go forward and produce the Spyder 918 hybrid , which, up until now, was strictly conceptual . Did I mention it’ll cost around $650,000? Because it will. Yeah, I just pre-ordered two. Didn’t I, Hot Wheels? High rolla, HIGH ROLLA! A 3.4-liter V8 petrol burner is combined with electric motors to put out 500bhp, while featuring the mind-altering acceleration to go from a standing start to 62mph in just 3.2 seconds. Topping out at 198mph and offering a very respectable 78mpg fuel economy… The cost? That hasn’t been officially announced yet, but estimates peg it around the $650,000 mark. Don’t worry, though — it’ll be eligible for the $7,500 federal tax credit. Well thank God for the federal tax credit. I know that’s what I’m concerned about when I’m wiping my ass with diamond-studded toilet paper. Did I mention my commode is solid gold? Which — you know how they say you can’t polish a turd? They’ve never seen one sparkling at the bottom of my bowl. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the “yes, yes I would have sex with that car.”

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Porsche Producing $650K Spyder 918 Hybrid

Note: MUST WATCH video is after the jump because your head’s gonna explode from the cuteness and I already hosed down the front page once today. This is a short video by Patrick Boivi entitled ‘AT-AT Day Afternoon’. It’s a one-minute documentary showing a typical day in the life of a pet AT-AT . Just watch it, you won’t regret it. And if you do regret it there’s obviously something wrong with you. My guess is an internal parasite. Your skin itches, doesn’t it? Sounds like a worm. Hit it. DO IT NOW (also available in HD).

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Best Thing You’ll See All Day (And Possibly Week): A Day In The Life Of A Pet AT-AT

You ever wanted to eat a PB&J out of R2’s head? Who hasn’t? And now you can thanks to this $11 lunchbox . Whoa,11?! You can’t even get a handjob candy bar for $11 anymore! There’s also Boba Fett and Darth Vader models (plus a ton of others) available if the little astromech droid isn’t doing it for you. He’s definitely doing it for me though. And by it I mean filming Leia while she changes. And no beep-booping — you blew our cover last time. Hit the jump for another shot of R2 and the other boxes.

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You’ll Never Have To Give Up Your Lunch Money Again: Sweet Star Wars Lunch Boxes

From now on I’m gonna start posting videos after the jump to minimize scriptage on the front page so that those of you rocking dial up modems can still read Geekologie from your caves while you’re busy mailing homemade bombs. So, yeah, this is video of a super-surprised looking kitty. Which, HOW PRECIOUS IS HE?! I just wanna eat him up like Cruella wanted to eat all those puppies! Hit the jump for the video.

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WANT: Surprised Kitty Is Surprised, Precious

Because Japan has infinitely cooler (and 10x perverted ) everything, it was only a matter of time before they beat us to the invention of breasted mouse pads . I don’t know where you get them, and I don’t know why you would get them, all I know is I did get them. Which, fun fact: fondling your mouse pad while talking to coworkers CAN count as sexual harassment. Shocking, I know. (Anybody hiring?) Big Breasted Mousepads [buzzfeed] Thanks to emerica and CEW, who have never been caught in the janitor’s closet with a mouse pad. Yet.

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Keeping It Classy: Large Breasted Mouse Pads