Man Gets Eye Replaced With Video Camera

Seen here creeping me the f*** out worse than the kid with an eyeball drawn on his eyepatch, Rob Spence shows off his video camera eyeball. Rob lost his eye in a shooting accident (which, while certainly serious, is still getting off lucky CONSIDERING HE WAS IN A SHOOTING ACCIDENT INVOLVING HIS FACE), and the last time we saw him had a red LED eyeball . Now he has a video camera. It is NOT a window to the soul. …it records everything he sees, sending what he’s looking at in real time to a computer. According to Rob, technology is already advanced and the possibilities are endless in the future. He said: “People are going to have the option of having superior arms, superior eyes at some point. “People say no one would ever cut off their own arm and replace it, but if the technology gets there - and it looks like it will - people will think about it. “They might be early adopters.” First of all, the camera doesn’t record everything he sees, it records everything he doesn’t see, because that’s his dud eye. Secondly, the day people start purposefully chopping off perfectly good body parts to replace with cyborg ones is the day I renounce my human citizenship. Get it? *unzipping body* I’m an alien! ZIP ZAP, BANANA NANU. Hit the jump for a video interview.

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Man Gets Eye Replaced With Video Camera

We Lost Another One: Smallest Video Camera

You see that picture? That’s a needle at the bottom. I know, I thought it was a knight’s jousting lance at first too and was all, “PFFT, THAT CAMERA AIN’T SO SMALL!” But no, it’s a needle . Which you and I both know is like double the circumference of your protractor. What? I’m a urinal peeper! This tiny camera was designed to shoot video inside the human body, replacing the more common fiber optic endoscope. The camera itself is about 1 millimeter cubed, or about the same size as that eyeball computer we saw a couple of weeks ago. With 62,500 pixel resolution, the images should be pretty sharp, and what’s really neat is the developer Fraunhofer says the camera will be cheap enough to be disposable. “Cheap enough to be disposable”, riiiiiiiight. I’d like to see the itemized bill first before I let a doctor throw away/leave the camera floating around in my gut. Rubber gloves: $4 Disposable Camera: $600 Forceps $30 Removal of action figure from rectum: $1,000 Removal of action figure playset from rectum: $3,000 Six-hundred bucks?! Aww hell naw — I’m returning it. *chugs Fiber Cleanse, packing-tapes pasta strainer to toilet seat* World’s smallest video camera is ready to peer inside your body [dvice] Thanks to Mark, who knows a guy that once managed to wedge an entire Sony Handycam…I’m just gonna stop right there.

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We Lost Another One: Smallest Video Camera

Finally, A Color Nightvision Video Camera

You know what the biggest problem with nightvision cameras is? They make your sex tape look like shit. If I wanted to see two green, googly-eyed aliens having sex I’d buy a telescope and point it at the moon ( oh they’re there) . Enter the COLOR nightvision camera — heralding a new age in nightvision sex videos. Please note: 20-minute shots of your b-hole still not cool. GET A TRIPOD, CECIL B. DePERVERT! The Nanosystem Research Division of AIST (National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology Japan), recently showed off a new camera that…makes use of highly sensitive infrared technology that allows it to capture real-time color video in darkness. Using advanced algorithms to analyze reflected wavelengths from objects of different colors, the camera is able to fill the images with colors instead of the usual monochrome green color we’ve come to expect from night vision cameras. The camera is still in development stage yet, but there are plans to turn it into a commercial device for sale to the public by the end of 2011… God, just imagine if this technology had existed back in ‘04 when Paris Hilton filmed her sextape. It would STILL be entirely unwatchable! Which brings me to my point: it’s all about angles and positions, folks. Trust me, I studied sex film in college (read: pretended I was asleep and taped my roommate masturbating). Video explanation of the technology after the jump if you’re interested.

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Finally, A Color Nightvision Video Camera

Did You Hear That?: Robot Spy Hummingbird

This is a robotic hummingbird designed by DARPA to fly around and capture audio/video on reconnaissance missions (not to be confused with renaissance missions, which usually involve slaying dragons and saving a princess). AOL News reports it’s just a research project for now, but the battery-powered drone has a front-facing camera and can fly for up to eight minutes at a time. It has taken five years to build and cost $4 million, per the Los Angeles Times, but the new model of the Nano Hummingbird drone really looks like a bird flying around. It would allow the military to literally drop a bird at a window ledger for reconnaissance purposes. “You can use these things anywhere, put them anyplace, and the target will never even know they’re being watched,” said defense expert Peter W. Singer. “…and the target will never even know they’re being watched”. Sure, PROVIDED THEY DON’T SEE THE FAKE ROBOTIC BIRD PERCHED ON THEIR WINDOW SILL. It’s just like trying to hide in the women’s locker room — you’re invisible until somebody realizes the water fountain is masturbating. Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the lil’ hummer in action.

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Did You Hear That?: Robot Spy Hummingbird

Video Camera Attached To Bow And Arrow

Seen here looking suspiciously like your uncle, Youtube user jerimiahjw went and attached little keychain cameras to arrows and shot them into the wild blue yonder. He even took both rear-facing AND full-frontal shots, so you get to see it all ( hummina hummina! ). Plus he slowed down the footage in several scenes so you can appreciate the scenery. Suck it Robin Hood, Prince of Boring ! Next up: attaching cameras to bullets. “GW, that’s impossible”. Nothing’s impossible! “Yes, tons of things are impossible and that’s one of them.” Oh yeah? Well not in fantasy-land! “No such place”. LISTEN BUDDY, DON’T GO SHITTING ON FANTASY-LAND JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIFE SUCKS. *casts spell to make your ballsack shrink so tight you’re in constant pain* Hit the jump for the worthwhile footage.

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Video Camera Attached To Bow And Arrow

Bad Ideas: Barbie Video Girl Has Integrated Video Camera

Barbie Video Girl is a new $50 doll with integrated video camera so girls can make movies of themselves playing in their bedrooms from Barbie’s point of view. This is going to end badly. You dun goofed, Mattel! The Barbie Video Girl Doll ($50, Mattel, for ages 6 and up) looks just like a regular Barbie, but a closer look reveals a camera in her pendant, and a postage-sized color screen on her back, peaking through her blouse. Powered by two AAA batteries (one in each leg), the doll can record up to 30 minutes of Webcam quality AVI video, with a three-button interface. You can watch your recordings on the doll’s screen, but with no sound. Or you can transfer them to your Macintosh or Windows computer by way of the included mini-U.S.B. cable. Granted I would have killed for a He-Man cam growing up so I could have filmed myself playing naked Master of the Universe, but you know what? So would’ve my uncle. Product Site via Lights, Camera, Barbie? [gadgetwise] Thanks to Kate, who sent me a stuffed dino with a camera in the eyes. Nice try, Kate, but I always blindfold him.

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Bad Ideas: Barbie Video Girl Has Integrated Video Camera

Are We Having Fun Yet?: New iPod Nano Shoots Video, Voice Records, FM Radios

Apple just released an updated iPod Nano which features a bigger screen, 640 x 480 video recording, voice recording, and FM radio capabilities. As usual, they come in all sorts of fun colors so you can match your media player to your eyes (Chinese girls do not come with green eyes — anybody?!). 8 giggers cost $150 and 16 bangers $180. Is it worth an extra $30 to double your storage? You be the judge. I’ll play the bailiff! Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Good, now where were you last night around 10PM? Because I was peeking in your bedroom window but you weren’t theeeeere! Product Site Thanks to Kamaren, smith and Todd, who still carry record players BECAUSE THEY’RE OLDSCHOOL LIKE THAT. I swear, you guys are so fresh.

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Are We Having Fun Yet?: New iPod Nano Shoots Video, Voice Records, FM Radios

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