So yesterday the feds busted up Megaupload, the “50-million+ daily visits and 4% of all web traffic” file-hosting website for SURPRISE! copyright infringement (among other things). Then hacker collective Anonymous, displeased with the fed’s operation, decided to go on a website killing spree, taking down the FBI, Department of Justice, Recording Industry of America, Motion Picture Association of America, BMI, Universal Music, and other related sites with quickly orchestrated distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks (basically pounded a server with access requests until it shits the bed). Oh God please don’t do Geekologie next. So, yeah — no word what’s gonna happen to RapidShare, Box, FileSonic, FileFactory, uPload, Wupload, 4shared, Oron, Badongo, DepositFiles, Uploading, zShare, FileServe, MediaFile, MediaFire or Hotfile. But me? I already know what’s gonna happen to me. I’m gonna get rich making and selling mix-tapes out the trunk of my car . Come over quick and bring boomboxes! Feds Kill Megaupload [gizmodo] and Anonymous Goes on Megaupload Revenge Spree: DoJ, RIAA, MPAA, and Universal Music All Offline [gizmodo] and Feds Shutter Megaupload, Arrest Executives [wired] Thanks to everyone who sent this in, the majority of which expressed a real concern with where their next porn-fix was gonna come from. IT’S THE INTERNET PEOPLE, NOT PRISON (not yet anyways).

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Feds Shut Down File-Hosting Giant Megaupload, Anonymous Goes On A Website Killing Spree

A Geekologie Reader, who will remain anonymous but who I will now refer to as Jilted Jedi because I’ve always wanted to pretend I was Dear Abby, had his entire Star Wars toy collection haphazardly dumped in the alley behind his house by his ex-wife, who may or may yes be a evil Sith lord. Which — let me see that lightsaber . Haha, red — I KNEW IT! There were about 10 black trash bags with carded figures stuffed into them 400-500 of them! Good thing the weather was cooperative and I was quick enough on the scene to detour the smokers in the alley. Can you believe the nerve?! Those toys should’ve only been handled by a mover specializing in the relocation of collectibles . Instead they got the trashbag treatment. Ex-wives: they hated your collection long before the divorce. Hit the jump for one more shot of the carnage.

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Oh The Humanity!: Geekologie Reader’s Ex-Wife Dumps Entire Star Wars Toy Collection In Alley

inb4 I for one welcome our new picnic ruining overlords. Scientists dabbling in ant genes (me? I only dribble in my Levi’s ) have found a way to turn normal soldier ants into “supersoldiers” with giant f***ing heads and pincers by activating the ancient genetic trait with a special hormone. You know, because that’s exactly we need. Starship Troopers here we come! Authors Dr Rajendhran Rajakumar, from McGill University, Canada, and colleagues wrote: ‘We uncovered an ancestral development potential to produce a novel supersoldier subcaste that has been retained throughout a hyperdiverse ant genus that evolved 35 to 60 million years ago.’ The results suggest that holding on to ancestral development toolkits may play an important role in evolving new physical traits, say the researchers. Well damn, Dr. Rajakumar, you think you could have dumbed that down a little? I’m not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box if you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean? I mean I’m a colored pencil the box didn’t come with one of those sharpeners on the back. Oh great, now I’m melting in the sun. Hit the jump for another shot of the DO NOT WANT.

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Great: Scientists Genetically Modify Giant Mutant Ants

Seen here falling for the ol’ fish head on a hook trick, the world’s first documented hybrid shark stares into the camera with a googly eye. Scientists believe the species is humping around in direct response to climate change, which I believe. It’s too f***ing hot in here, I’m gonna bang a hammerhead. “This is evolution in action.” The Australian black-tip is slightly smaller than its common cousin and can only live in tropical waters, but its hybrid offspring have been found 2,000 kilometres down the coast, in cooler seas. It means the Australian black-tip could be adapting to ensure its survival as sea temperatures change because of global warming. “If it hybridises with the common species it can effectively shift its range further south into cooler waters, so the effect of this hybridising is a range expansion,” Morgan said. “It’s enabled a species restricted to the tropics to move into temperate waters.” Wow, could you even imagine if great whites decided they were gonna start humping other sharks? Because that would be f***ing terrifying. But mostly just for the other shark. World-first hybrid shark found off Australia [yahoonews] Thanks to Matt, who agrees a couple more years and those shitty b-movies like Sharktopus and Squidigator aren’t gonna seem so stupid after all.

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Fill The Oceans With Concrete!: Hybrid Sharks Exist

Because humans shouldn’t be the only ones that get to share ultrasound pictures (your baby looks like a bean!) with their friends, somebody created a Facebook-y website for robots where they can share whatever sadness is going on in their pathetic existences. Sounds familiar! Geekologie Writer: No milk for my cereal, FML. Being a robot just got a little bit more sociable, now that droids have their own social network. At MyRobots.com, which launched today, robot owners can sign-up their automatons, create profiles for them - even include a photo and a name - and then leave them to update their own status. This might be a simple temperature reading - or the results of a clever face-recognition algorithm. But while Facebook is often criticised for emphasising the duller aspects of human life (”Bored. When can I go to the pub?” or “I need pizza”) , the exchange of seemingly mundane status updates between robots (”I am overheating and need a rest” or “I am a vacuum cleaner and I am stuck”) could make them a lot smarter. Wait — so Facebook for robots is actually making them smarter but Facebook for humans makes people f***ing retarded? Why do I get the feeling I’m getting the short end of the stick here? “That’s not a stick — it’s a robot peener .” SO COLD. Facebook for robots helps droids get smarter [newscientist] Thanks to Wilmersama, who I’m putting in charge of infiltrating the social network and collecting recon on what kinds of music these f***ers are listening to on Spotify.

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Wonderful: Robots Get Their Own Facebook

In news that can only be described as bad, a group of autonomous quadrocopters at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology have successfully built a 20-foot tower out of foam blocks. *adding Switzerland to shit list* Neutral my ass! But seriously, I want you to think about this for a second: autonomous robots are building things on their own . Do you know how hard it is to build something? One year I tried to build a birdhouse but the roof caved in and killed a family of cardinals. Kidding, there was no roof because I accidentally glued it to my leg. My point is this: robots are building things and BUILDING things is much harder than DESTROYING things. You do the math . “12 x 12 = 124″ Okaaaaaaay , one more guess but this time time use your phone’s calculator. Hit the jump for some brick-laying in action.

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Autonomous Quadrocopters Build 20-Foot Tower

Because what good is science if you can’t use it to kill a whole lot of people, evil doctors have successfully genetically modified the avian flu to be much, much deadlier. *coughing* OH GOD I HAVE IT, DON’T I?! I have been peeing a lot of blood… Inside a Dutch medical facility is a potentially devastating weapon that could kill millions: A genetically modified version of the H5N1 bird flu, engineered to be easily transmitted among ferrets. And the researchers who figured out how to do it would like to share their work with the world. This is a terrifying prospect…Virologists have thought avian flu could not adapt to mammals easily because it would require drastic changes to the virus’ genetic makeup, which might make it unable to reproduce. But Fouchier says his work proves this is untrue. “I can’t think of another pathogenic organism that is as scary as this one,” [National Security Advisory Board on Biosecurity chair Paul] Keim told Science Insider. “I don’t think anthrax is scary at all compared to this.” Wonderful news, really. I mean, why SHOULDN’T scientists be trying to engineer an avian flu that’s easily transmittable to mammals? It just makes good sense. Cure cancer? Maybe later, we’re still trying to figure out how to give humans cat AIDS. Should a New Recipe for Engineered Bird Flu, Potent Enough to Kill Millions, Be Published? [popsci] Thanks to Drew, Tony, krakow and Robina, who agree scientists should be less time creating a deadlier bird flu and more time reverse-engineering dinosaurs from chickens. Amen to that!

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Evil Scientists Engineer Deadlier Version Of Bird Flu

The robot apocalypse nears, blah blah blah, if you don’t believe me already you probably never will and, quite frankly, don’t deserve to survive the uprising . I’m not saying I’m going to throw you to the robots , but I will tie your shoelaces together and club your knees so you’re the first to go. This is a video of a robot CONTROLLING A HUMAN’S ARM BY SHOCKING IT. Zip zap, you’re punching yourself. Researchers in France have given a small robot the ability to directly control a living human’s arm by running electricity through his muscles. The researchers have some story about how it’s for therapeutic purposes — a robot can use this ability to help a paralyzed human — and also that co-opting human limbs is more cost-effective than building expensive, carefully engineered robot limbs. Wow, teaching robots how to shock humans to get what they want? This is gonna end poorly. This game of Scrabble? It’s gonna end with me flipping the board screaming, “BAGODICKS ISN’T A REAL WORD AND YOU KNOW IT!” Hit the jump for the future of wiping your ass. Ooooooor stabbing yourself in the butt with an empty toilet paper roll.

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Robot Controlling Human’s Arm With Electric Impulses

Cats : they’re supposed to stand on all four feet. Granted sometimes they’ll sit on three with a back one in the air and lick their genitals in front of company, but that’s because they’re terrible hosts. Dammit Archimedes — at least set out the hors d’ oeuvres first! Recently, there have been sightings of bipedal Frankenfelines , and this is another. Except this guy doesn’t actually go anywhere, he just stands there . It’s like how they teach you if you’re ever surrounded by hyenas you’re supposed to hold your hands above your head so they think you’re too tall to f*** with. What? I was raised in the bush . Just kidding, but I did work in a Lowe’s home & garden department one summer. Hit the jump for the OH HELLLLLLLL NO, YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INSTANCE! (instance is the new instant fyi)

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Get Down From There!: Devil Cat Learns To Stand

Seen here preventing an invisible giant’s balls from touching the floor, Honda’s ASIMO robot has undergone a series of upgrades, making him lighter, faster, and more autonomous (not to mention less likely to fall up and down stairs). Wonderful news in the middle of a site upgrade, really . LORD JUST TAKE ME NOW. Honda’s robot isn’t just smarter, it’s lighter, and as a result, faster too. Honda put Asimo on Jenny Craig and it’s now 13.2 pounds lighter and can move at 5.59 miles per hour as opposed to the 3.73 miles per hour it was getting before. The Wall Street Journal had this to say about the new Asimo: “Honda brags Asimo is capable of “responding to the movement of people and the surrounding situations…Asimo is now capable of predicting the direction a person will walk within the next few seconds based on information from pre-set space sensors and quickly determine to take an alternate path to avoid a collision with the person if the estimated locations of the person and the Asimo intersect.” There’s a video of ASIMO running around and hopping on one foot after the jump, which looks suspiciously like a child wearing a robot costume. God, we can only hope. Actually, that’s not true — we could pray too . “AND ask Santa.” What the — and risk not getting a hoverboard? You’re out of your f***ing mind! Hit the jump for a video of the are you faster than 5.59MPH?

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New And Improved ASIMO Robot Can Run, Jump