Seen here looking suspiciously like a robot turd , an unknown metallic sphere crashed to the ground in a remote area of Namibia, stirring a ‘The Gods Must Be Crazy’ moment for the locals. Well, at least in my mind it did. When the ball came down it caused a crater 12 inches deep and 13ft wide, although it was found some 60ft away. It weighs around 13lbs, has a diameter of 14 inches and its rough surface looks like ‘two halves welded together’, said police forensics director Paul Ludik. Locals claimed to have heard several explosions in the days before it was discovered by a farmer on his land. Unfortunately, the sphere is believed to be a hydrazine tank from a satellite, which sounds realistic, albeit nowhere near as exciting as an alien probe. Put it in my butt anyways, DO IT NOW. (Arguably the best line written on a blog ever) The mystery ball from space: Experts baffled by metal sphere that crashed to Earth in remote area of Namibia [dailymail] Thanks to James, who would have been waiting in the field with a baseball bat ready to send that thing back where it came from. Aww hell naw you littering-ass aliens *CA-CRACK!*

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The Sky Is Falling!: Real Life Spaceball Lands In Africa

This is a picture of the carved vegetable alien corpse Russian cat lady Marta Yegorovnam has been keeping in her fridge for the past two years after pulling it from the wreckage of a crashed UFO in 2009. The best part? She’s still been using the fridge for food storage. You’re f***ing nasty as shit! She says she approached the flaming wreckage and crumpled metal which she described as ‘unbearably hot’ and near the twisted hulk lay the dead alien. The ‘creature’ is two feet long, has an enormous head, large bulbous eyes and an appearance somewhere between a fish and a humanoid. It also appears to have what looks like a string-like arm protruding from its body. The footage was unearthed by noted paranormal writer and expert Michael Cohen. ["Noted" paranormal writer Michael] Cohen, 40, said: ‘This could be an elaborate hoax, however the possibility that this might be a genuine alien should not be discounted. LOL @ “this could be an elaborate hoax”. Elaborate , really? Some crazy Russian lady CARVED A F***ING WATERMELON, she didn’t orchestrate a fake moon landing. This sounds like the kind of guy who’d shit bricks if you pulled a coin out of his ear. Hit the jump for two more shots, including one with a ruler. You know, for scientific-ness.

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Another Day, Another Russian Woman Who’s Kept An Alien Corpse In Her Refrigerator For Two Years

Granted it can only hover at 3-feet, but that’s a lot higher than your UFO. “I don’t have a UFO.” You ignorance pains me, you know that? But Shu Mansheng here? He’s smart . So smart he built an 18-foot UFO (NOT roflcopter ) out of $3,000 in parts (including eight motorcycle engines). It’s Shu’s third prototype and can hover 3-feet off the ground for a solid 10-seconds. Not sure how you can use that to fake an alien invasion , but who knows, maybe he’s gonna hang it in a tree or something. Chinese man builds flying wheel with eight motorcycle motors [dvice] Thanks to Martin, who claims he tried building a jetpack but ended up burning his garage to the ground. Martin? That was a meth lab and we all know it. Hey — let’s build something together on Faceybooks and Tweeter

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Chinese Farmer Builds Own Hovering UFO

I bet it’s a portal to Atlantis! Is this the sonar image of a crasehd 60-foot UFO , 285-feet deep at the bottom of the Botnia Gulf? HELL NO IT’S NOT, DUMMY. And take that foil hat off, you look ridiculous. Swedish sea treasure hunters have found something extraordinary: A 60-foot disc sunk in the bottom of the ocean, with what appears to be 985-foot-long impact tracks leading to it. You see a lot of weird stuff in this job but during my 18 years as a professional I have never seen anything like this. The shape is completely round… a circle. Those are the words of Peter Lindberg, commander of the Ocean Explorer. He and his team found the strange disc on June 19 2011, at 285 feet below the surface of the Botnia Gulf, which is located somewhere between Finland and Sweden in the Baltic. Well shit, somebody needs to dive their ass down there and put this mystery to rest! Wait a minute…isn’t this how Michael Crichton’s ‘Sphere’ started? Oh shi-shi, now I’m thinking about ‘Jurassic Park’ again! *taking off pants* Hit the jump for a video about the finding.

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They Came From Below: Possible UFO Found At The Bottom Of Sea

New Zealand has a military?! After persistent freedom of information requests, the New Zealand military has decided to release more than 2,000 pages of previously confidential files documenting alien/UFO sightings . Mostly by crazy people . An example: A man who in 1995 met the giant alien with size 440 shoes says the being told him that on dying humans ascend as hydrogen atoms. “You will remain in hydrogen form for 150 years. Then it will change to sodium.” Size 440’s, really? *cough* Bullshit *cough* I’ve seen aliens that wear 350’s before, but 440’s? Somebody’s obviously been spitting their meds out behind the nurse’s back. Fun fact: Seattle’s Space Needle — actually a leftover probe. NEVER AGAIN YOU BUG-EYED PERVERTS! Alien with size 440 shoe among New Zealand UFO sightings [telegraph] and New Zealand’s UFO files: examples [telegraph] Thanks to Brittany, who didn’t realize I’d gotten up to chug some chocolate milk in the middle of the night and mistook me for an alien when I came back to bed. She beat me till my eyes bled.

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New Zealand Military Releases Alien Files

Apparently air traffic control at Xiaoshan Airport in China spotted a UFO on radar and was forced to divert flights until E.T. phoned the f*** home. Arcing over Zhejiang’s provincial capital Hangzhou, the UFO appeared to glow with an eerie white light and left a bright trail in its wake. Stunned witnesses reported seeing a comet-like fireball in the sky and a number of local residents took photos of the strange ball of light. ‘The thing suddenly ran westwards fast, like it was escaping from something,’ he said. Running from something is right. It’s called US. “This planet is a shithole, lets GTFO and hit that titty bar.” “The Milky Way?” “You know it, brotha — high-tentacle!” Chinese airport closed after fiery UFO is spotted flying over city [dailymail] Thanks to Romeo, Jordan and Peter Pan > Jiff, who would have PEWed that sucker out of sky, full-nelsoned those alien scumbags, and beat the secrets of the universe out of their bug-eyed brains.

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Airport Closes After UFO Spotted In China

[ NCAS.org ]

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Photo: Array of UFO Shapes