I’m on a seafood diet. I seafood and I…where’d it go? This is a video of a black-marble jawfish mimicking a mimic octopus . Just like that classic anti-drug PSA I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU! Parents who use drugs, have children who use drugs. Plus some parents who DON’T do drugs will still have kids who do. And some parents who DO use drugs will have kids who DON’T because they’ll be all, “God, mom’s been on the wine since 10AM again and is getting f***in’ sloppy .” For a good 15 minutes, this black-marble jawfish took the mollusk express, presumably to find food beyond its burrow. As nifty as the fish’s behavior is, the researchers suspect that this isn’t an everyday interaction. From the recent paper in the journal Coral Reefs, “Opportunistic mimicry by a Jawfish”: Since the Black-Marble Jawfish is distributed from Japan to Australia, whereas the Mimic Octopus is restricted to the Indo-Malay region, we think this is a case of opportunistic rather than obligate mimicry. Neato. Of course you can’t rule out the possibility that the fish thought those tentacles were other fish to have sex with. Because my dog humps stuffed animals sometimes and they only KIND OF look like him. The giraffe one not at all. Hit the jump for the video along with a bonus one of two mimic octopi MAKIN’ THE LOVE. Honey, that wasn’t me. But he looked just like you, I swear!

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Not Finding Nemo: Fish Mimicking Mimic Octopus

Just check out this hot little number. Pretty schmexy right? WRONG! She needs to eat a damn cheeseburger is what she needs to do. Well, that, AND NOT BE A DUDE. Haha — and you were looking at him! That makes you at least half gay right now. Andrej Pejic, a man with no breasts at all, is the star of a lingerie ad campaign promoting push-up bras. Modeling for Dutch company Hema, Pejic wears the brand’s Mega Push-Up Bra (just 20 euros!) underneath two different v-neck dresses. Pejic’s agent, Joseph Tenni, told Frockwriter, “It’s revolutionary… I’ve never known a man to do a women’s lingerie campaign before. Sadly, I don’t need a push-up bra to give the illusion of breasts. Or anything really, because they’re not an illusion . Most of the time I wish they were, but whenever I look down, nope, there they are — right on the cusp between a B and a C. Andrej Pejic Models Push-Up Bras For Hema [huffingtonpost] Thanks to Princess Yum-Yum, who has large au naturel taytays that could make a Geekologie Writer weep. It’s true too, I’m crying — HARD.

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Schmexy!: Iffy Push-Up Bra Print Advertisement

This is a video of a bearded dragon playing Ant Crusher on a smart phone with his tongue . He…is good. It’s kind of sad though because he always licks his lips after eating an ant except it never tastes like ant, it tastes like his owner doesn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Hit the jump for a video of the zero-calorie diet in progress.

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Skills: Lizard Playing ‘Ant Crusher’ On Smart Phone

Researchers at Dartmouth College have developed a metric to apply to altered images to address how much Photoshopping a picture has undergone, in an effort to provide more truth in advertising and prevent unhealthy body image issues. Hey, I’m 5′4″, 240-lbs and cool with that. Farid and Eric Kee, a Ph.D student in computer science at Dartmouth, published their research this week in the journal National Academy of Sciences. The tool would work on a rating scale of one to five. Farid and Kee created a base metric by analyzing and statistically measuring results from various before-and-after photos. They then correlated these findings with a study group that was asked to rank the amount of photo alteration on a scale of one (very similar) to five (very different). This numbered metric could then be algorithmically applied to photos of, say, celebrities and models to reveal just how much photo-manipulation took place. You want to know how much photo-manipulation takes place? I’ll tell you — TONS. It’s true, the last unaltered celebrity photo was actually taken in the 90’s. THE 1890’s. It was sepia-toned. Tool Reveals Which Celebs, Models Have Been Photoshopped [mashable] Thanks to Pat, who looks stunning even without photo manipulation. I’M SAYING YOU’RE HANDSOME, BRO.

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The Shadows Are All Wrong: ‘Photoshopped’ Algorithm

This is a trick sandwich being sold by some unscrupulous sammy purveyor in Asia. Jesus — any crappier and it would just be bread. MOLDY bread. And a roach. For 33, This Sandwich Seems Like a Bargain [neatorama] Thanks to beebs who claims she makes the best sandwiches in the solar system. *gets weak in the knees* Marry me?

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Oh That’s Low!: The World’s Crappiest Sandwich

The US government , best known for doing everything in its power keep the general populace in the dark about anything of interest, has issued a statement claiming no knowledge of aliens or any coverups related to extraterrestrial life. Oh, real cool gubment — LYING STRAIGHT TO MY SAGGY MAN-TITS. These petitions were sparked by an Obama administration initiative called “We the People.” Initially, the White House said staffers would respond and consider taking action on any issue that received at least 5,000 online signatures within 30 days. The requirement has since been raised to 25,000 signatures. “The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race,” Phil Larson from the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy reported on the WhiteHouse.gov website.”In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye.” The Paradigm Research Group, one of the organizations promoting the petitions, said that the response by a “low-level staffer” was unacceptable and that it would begin a new petition campaign. Ahahahhahaha @ “low-level staffer”. Phil Larson is a real person with real feelings you know. There’s no question he’s read this, and what did you do? YOU HURT HIM. Would you have been happier if they reanimated Roosevelt and Eisenhower’s bodies and had him write the report? Because the government can do that too. White House: There’s no sign of E.T. or UFO cover-up [msnbc] Thanks to rob, Brianna and Preacher62, who agree there’s definitely something the government isn’t telling us: everything.

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ALL LIES: Government Denies Knowledge Of Exterrestial Life Or Any Related Coverups

Ever wonder who does all the sexy-ass motion capture work for femme fatale Harley Quinn in the Arkham series of Batman games ? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER : a sassy little Asian dude. Hit the jump for the tricky reveal video that I guarantee was watched by at least a couple thousand fanboys with their pants around their ankles before the twist (read: wiener-y) ending.

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Oh Shishi — It’s Sexy Time!: Harley Quinn’s Motion Capture Model For The Arkham Games

Fine, SO MAYBE I LIED. Still, I had to find a way to ensure you’d all look at the picture because it brings up several important questions I want to discuss with you. 1. Does the guy that this dude calls dad know his wife banged a wild bear behind his back and 2. WHY THE F*** WERE BROBRO’S NIPS SEWN ON AT SUCH DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT HEIGHTS?! *performing sign of the cross* The Lord works in mysterious ways. Transforming Chest Hair [buzzfeed] Thanks to d-fizz, who tried shaving the Cobra Command serpent into his chest, screwed it up, decided to try again with his pubes, and wound up nicking one of his balls. Ouch.

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Now You’re Talking!: Sexy Transformer Tattoo

Mike Duke, who might have the simplest name ever, modded his late-model Mercury Cougar (which I used to own back in 2001 before sliding it off an icy road , wrapping it around a couple trees and winding up in the ICU for 11 days) into a Bugatti Veyron . Basically by fabricating a giant body kit . Now I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true: you almost lost your Geekologie Writer before you even knew him. Petrolhead Mike Duke, 25, spent nine months transforming his Ford Cougar into a red and black imitation of the 1,000bhp motor. A specially-designed bodykit makes it indistinguishable from a 1million Veyron and the interior has been re-styled and covered in leather. But the engine is the Cougar’s standard 2.5 litre V6 model, meaning its power falls well short of the 1,000bhp developed by the Veyron’s 8-litre powerplant. This means 0-62mph in 8.2 seconds and a top speed of 140mph - a way off the Veyron’s 2.5 seconds and 253mph. Why? Why do single men do anything — to trick women into coming home with them. *fumbling around with keys, finally opens door* “This apartment is dingy.” It’s a safehouse baby, I’m hiding out. “Driving that sports car?” I’m a spy, and spy’s drive fancy cars. “Who are you?” Duke, Mike Duke — Her Majesty’s Secret Service Center and Autobody Repair. Hit the jump for several more shots of the in-process and a couple more angles of the finished product PLUS A LINK TO THE EBAY AUCTION WHERE YOU CAN BUY THE THING ($89K) AND LIVE THE DREAM.

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Man Convincingly Mods $2,000 Mercury Cougar Into $2Million Bugatti Veyron Lookalike

When LEGOLand California General Manager Peter Rochetti came out to the parking lot to leave work for the day he found out his Volvo SUV had been replaced with a nonfunctional LEGO version. “Oh you guys! Are you guys messing with me again?! Because if I find out you actually sold my car and replaced it with a LEGO one I WILL F***ING FIRE YOU ALL AND BURN YOUR HOUSES TO ASH!!!! I think he had cocktails at lunch. The blue beauty was made of 201,760 pieces of lego and weighed 2,934 pounds, reports the LA Times. I love how he tries the door handle. Peter, please tell me you just wanted to see if there was an interior and not because you thought it was a real car. Because, I’m not gonna lie, that would be a bad sign for a guy running a multi-million dollar business. Also, “Don’t bother coming to work tomorrow.” Hit the jump for the short video.

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Oh You Guys!: LEGOLand General Manager Pranked With LEGO Version Of His Volvo