These are two videos from Skyrim . The first is the tastefully decorated home of an in-game serial killer, with body parts artfully strewn about the place. The second is 100 different ways to die in the game, a lot of which look suspiciously like running the kill command when you’re in the middle of doing something stupid. Me? I’m never not in the middle of doing something stupid. “…Like teabagging that toaster?” Shhhhhhhhhh — I’m warming my sperm so they swim faster. Hit the jump for the videos.

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Skyrim: The Home Of A Serial Killer & 100 Ways To Die

Ever wanted to watch a time-lapse animation of tape hanging from a glass plate unravel all creepy freaky-deaky like? Of course you have — you’re sick in the head. Per (non-sandwich) artist Johan Rijpma: …I worked on this project for about 6 months. I tried many different compositions and then made a selection. A single composition could take more than 12 hours to develop/breakdown. (the spinning of the plate was done by hand, turnin the plate about 0,4 degree’s every 30 seconds, this meant i was standing in the wind and the rain for hours watching the tape “grow” and watching the sun come up/go down) Impressive, but you know what I’ve always wanted to watch? Grass grow . Like, really take the time and acid and just watch it . Kidding, but one time I did lay down a blanket at the park and try to spot dinosaurs in the clouds. It sucked, this sweet-ass velociraptor was just starting to form when a giant pig head came out of nowhere and swallowed it up. RUINED MY ENTIRE PICNIC. That and the ants. Did I mention there were ants? Apparently I laid down on top of an ant hill. And let me tell you — those lil dicks were all about some of my homemade potato salad. Plus biting my legs. I’ve hated all outdoors ever since. I don’t even open my apartment windows anymore, it’s that bad. One time a friend asked me to go for a walk to talk because his girlfriend had broken up with him and I told him to get over it and she was way out of his league anyways just so I wouldn’t have to go. Hit the jump for the video.

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Freaky Deaky ‘Tape Unraveling’ Time-Lapse

Connect the dots — la la la la! Connect the dots: like word searches and mazes, they’ve always been difficult for me (who the f*** is supposed to remember what comes after 59 anyway? That’s why God invented calculators !). So you can imagine my sense of unease when I saw this, the world’s most complicated connect-the-dots picture. Created by Thomas Pavitte, the piece contains 6,239 dots, takes around 9-hours to complete, and produces a relatively booboo basic looking Mona Lisa when the fat lady sings. Which, SPOILER ALERT: she always seems to be doing around this time of day. *banging on wall* FOR THE LOVE OF LITTLE DEBBY CAN YOU SHUT UP? I’M TRYING TO F***ING BLOG OVER HERE! She’s making it real hard to feel bad about stealing her electricity. Hit the jump for a couple close-ups and a time-lapse video of nine hours packed into four minutes. Damn bro you should help me with my luggage before vacay!

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World’s Most Complicated Connect-The-Dots Picture Produces Iffy-Looking Mona Lisa

Note: Video is after the jump. To celebrate the recent release of Little Big Planet 2 (which I’m triple-fisting alongside Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood and a PB&J ), a group of fans went and created a level in real life using a couple stuffed Sackboys and a shit-ton of construction paper . Pretty cool, guys. But you know what would be even cooler? If they opened a theme park with a bunch of Little Big Planet levels that humans could run through. How awesome would that be?! I know I’d give upwards of $50 to get in. Just kidding, but I would give the ticket-taker an HJ. What?! Rght, like I’m the only who’s ever diddled a Trader Joe’s cashier for a free steak before! Hit the jump for 2:00 of cuteness.

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Dawwwww: ‘Little Big Planet’ Recreated IRL

British artist Keira Rathbone uses a typewriter to ‘type’ pictures with the letters , numbers and symbols available. There are a couple closeups of this particular piece after the jump, which are definitely worth checking out. Pretty awesome, right? Now I know what you’re thinking, and no, you could not do better. You really need to start being more realistic about your abilities. Just sayin’, some people are good at everything, some people are good at some things, and then there’s you. Then me. :/ Hit the jump for several more of the impressiveness, along with a shot of the artist at work.

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This Manuscript Is Illegible!: Typewriter Art

This is allegedly a video of every lightsaber ignition/retraction from all the Star Wars films (including the shitty ones). I say allegedly because I have no idea if it actually is and God knows I’m not going to spend the time to find out. Research: I don’t do it. Now experimental drug testing, that’s different. $20 and I’ll eat any pill you give me provided it doesn’t make my penis smell like sausage (I have two hungry dogs and I’m a heavy sleeper). Hit the jump for the video.

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Laser Swords!: Every Lightsaber Ignition & Retraction From All Of Star Wars In 2:30

As many of you may know because you haven’t slept since its release on Tuesday, Starcraft II was just released. And what better way to celebrate than a stop-motion LEGO homage to the original ? I mean, besides just playing the new one. I’m picking up my copy tomorrow and plan on staying up allllllll night. It’s gonna be just like a high school sleepover, except without having to masturbate in my sleeping bag as quietly as possible. Per the video maker’s comments at Machinima: Lego Starcraft: Brick Rush The blue Terran forces face off against the red Protoss threat in a classic battle for map domination and vespian gas! Oh man, vespene gas. That’s some toxic-ass stuff right there. Reminds me of the time I ran to the fridge for another beer and came back to catch my dog licking the last of the curry out of my bowl on the coffee table. I made her sleep in the kitchen that night and, no lie — her ass melted the linoleum . Hit it for the worthwhile video if you’re into Starcraft , LEGO, stop-motion videos, or just pissing time away at work (if you’re here you have to be into at least one).

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Pew Pew Pew!: Starcraft LEGO Stop-Motion

Note: Video is after the jump because I don’t want your crotch to catch fire on the front page. Wait — yes, yes I do. Yes I know what tea-lights are! Does that make me gay? No, lovin’ on another man’s booty would make me gay. Knowing what tea-lights are just makes me appreciative of their romantic , flickering ambiance. I like to light a couple dozen around an aromatic bubble bath and mmmm , what a sensual treat! Then I unrobe and slip into the tub with another man. And THAT’S when things get gay. All I can say is ..this took over 2 weeks to do. A lot of fire, A lot of smoke, a lot of heat, and a whole lot of frustration. Sounds like my sex life. HIYO! No it really does though. Hit it for the fiery video.

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Cool Stop-Motion Video Made With Tea-Lights

This is a simple stop-motion movie made using a webcam and 6,561 little black-and-white printed cards. It’s fairly awesome but nowhere near as awesome as jumping a pile of burning leaves on a BMX . Which I’ve done before. Followers of the Touhou game franchise would recognize the source song and video “Bad Apple!!” by nomico as it maintained 7 solid weeks on top of the Nico Nico Douga weekly rankings. I have no idea what that quote meant but I do know what it means to be the first person in your neighborhood to own a boat. It means I’m the f***ing captain of this street and everybody knows it . Now, raise anchor and set sail for the shallow end! Youtube via Bad Apple: The 1-Bit Stop Motion Movie [gizmodo] Thanks to Josh, who, STOP! — Hammer Motion time. Now I want you to shoot me.

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Time Consuming: Wicked Stop-Motion Video

This is a screenshot of some kid playing ‘Christmas Light Hero’ on the front of his (parents’) house. And I thought I was a crazy Christmas decorator (I am, I wander around the front yard in my bathrobe cackling)! According to the Daily What, Ric Turner, a former Disney ‘imagineer’ and special effects specialist, turned his yard into a game of Guitar Hero, built out of 21,268 lights and LEDs, that plays Eric Johnson’s “Cliffs of Dover.” To program the show a video recording was made of a perfect round of Guitar Hero playing Eric Johnson’s Cliffs of Dover. The timing of all the dots and the light show choreography follow that video. When you play, you watch only the Christmas lights, but the audio you hear is from the Wii, so your flubs are broadcast for all to hear (people in cars can tune 99.1 and crank it up as loud as they want.) Wow, that’s….impressive. Not as impressive as wiring up a homemade ‘Rock Band, Holiday Edition’ using EVERY HOUSE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, but it’s not bad for an amateur effort. It is sooooo on, Ric! (I have all the giant inflatables, just sayin’). Hit the jump for the video of the lights in action.

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Guitar Hero Inspired ‘Christmas Light Hero’ Actually Playable On The Side Of A House