This picture: why does it exist? A 26-year old with surgically enhanced breasts discovered one had ruptured after being shot in the teat during a round of paintball . And that, my friends, is why I’m afraid to get mine done. The 26-year-old had been taking part in a game at an outdoor centre near Croydon on Saturday (20 August). She went to her doctor’s surgery on Monday, where it was discovered one of her implants had been torn apart. “We respectfully ask that any ladies with surgical breast implants notify our team at the time of booking,” says a statement on UK Paintball’s website. “You will be given special information on the dangers of paintballing with enhanced boobs and asked to sign a disclaimer. “You will also be issued with extra padding to protect your implants while paintballing.” AHAHAHHAHHAHAH! “…given special information on the dangers of paintballing with enhanced boobs…” Way to stay professional guys. “Jesus, they run a paintball center — what did you expect?” Touch. Paintball shot ruptures woman’s silicone breast implant [bbcnews] Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who paintballs with like six pairs of tighty whities on to prevent the same thing from happening to his balls. Smart, but I’d go with at least eight just to be on the safe side.

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Apparently Paintballs Can Pop Breast Implants

This is a video documenting the location and country responsible for all 2,053 known nuclear explosions between 1945-1998. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? If you answered, “Jesus, how are we all not dead ?” you are! You know the Ruskies were experimenting with blowing up the earth’s core and destroying the planet, right? Because I didn’t just make that up. It came to me in a dream. The same one where I had sex with a lava monster! Although the map and graphics are almost comically low-res, the minimalist presentation is so effective you can’t look away. Every explosion produces a musical chime, and every time a new nation goes nuclear, it gets a different note. We were particularly struck by the Cold War musical duel between the U.S. and U.S.S.R., as each responds to the other’s nuclear testing, resulting in a darkly impressive light show on the map. Neat idea. So neat I’ve been inspired to make a world map with the chronology of my sexual experiences from 1995-2010. Hold on to your hats, folks, you’re about to see some real fireworks! Idaho, 2004: looked at another man’s wiener while peeing. Hit it for the long-ass video (and a sped-up Youtube version), but feel free to skip around.

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Video Shows Location/Country Responsible For All Nuclear Explosions From 1948-1998