WARNING: Contains pirate language and potential spoilers for the Dark Brotherhood quests. This is an artistically shot video of somebody’s grandma playing Skyrim and swearing her face off (easy does it, granny — one more f-bomb and that face is GONE). She…might be a witch. Plus she doesn’t have very many teeth. You’d think with all the cursing she would have had her mouth washed out with soap enough to save some but NOPE. “I like the way she licks her lips.” You’re f***ing nasty. “I’d rub her feet while she plays.” I SAID STOP! Hit the jump for the never too old to game or cuss at a television in action. Note: If youre into it, follow the link back to brobro’s Youtube channel to see her playing everything from God of War to Final Fantasy to Dead Space.

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Granny Gamer: Crazy Swearing Old Lady Plays Skyrim

This is a video of a kid in a sleeveless t-shirt extracting one of his own teeth with a Nerf bow & arrow. He…is way tougher than I was at his age. He asks his dad if it’s gonna hurt , his dad tells him he doesn’t know, and then the kid blasts his tooth across the room without another word. I would have been all, “Seriously dad, is it?! I don’t think I really want to do it anymore.” My point is this: that kid is probably wasteful as shit at an all-you-can-eat buffet because there is no way those googly eyes aren’t bigger than his stomach. Hit the jump for the mine always came out when I was eating and I swallowed them. Haha, work for those teeth, Tooth Fairy!

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Tough: Kid Extracting Own Tooth With Nerf Gun

Honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t even feel comfortable making love with those bottoms in the same room as me . Created by Pale Horse Design and sold by Iron Fist Clothing each matched bikini set ($30) is sure to shrink any man’s turtle at the beach even smaller than it already is (the water’s cold, God!). Because if I know women (and I know women), there’s one thing they’re looking for when swimsuit shopping : A BIKINI THAT’LL MAKE THEIR PRIVATES LOOK LIKE A F***ING MONSTER. *develops body-image issue* Product Site via Monster Bikinis of the Day [geeks.thedailwh.at] Thanks to Claire, who agrees topless is the new bikini.

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Yikes: Monster Bikinis With Toothy Bottoms

Seen here beckoning your wiener to an untimely dismemberment, robotic dental patient Showa Hanako 2 (Showa Hanako 1 here ) opens wide for the camera. Now quick — toss a stick of dynamite in there and duck behind the x-ray shield! …this humanoid was originally developed last year as a tool for dentists looking to practice new procedures. Now, engineers at Japan’s Showa University have updated their dental denizen, adding a motorized head and replacing her PVC skin with a more realistic silicon coating. She also boasts speech recognition capabilities and can execute freakishly natural movements, including blinking, sneezing, coughing and, under more unsavory circumstances, even choking. So yeah, basically she’s a sex robot flying under the radar as a dental patient. Nice try, Japan! Did I mention one time I chiseled a wisdom tooth out with a fork because I was convinced there was a piece of melted plastic stuck to it? 100% true story. Yes, I ate plastic. Hit the jump for a video of little Miss Brushnfloss in action.

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Dynamite, STAT!: A Robotic Dental Patient

Four out of five dentists recommend it! Just kidding. But one out of ten dentists will try to touch your privates with an elbow during a filling. Trust me, I went undercover . No, no I didn’t. I just ate a lot of candy growing up. *raising roof* CANDY FOR BREAKFAST, ICE-CREAM FOR LUNCH, WHAT WHAT! Skittle tits & Magic Shell nips till I die, son! Which, fun fact: will probably be sooner than later because I’ve going into diabetic shock on the reg. Twist&Brush, a great concept by the Spanish designers Awamura-ganjavian that crams a toothpaste dispenser and a toothbrush into one elegant little package. The ingenious feature is the handle, which works like a cross between a syringe and a deodorant stick. Fill it up with toothpaste, then when you’re ready to brush, twist the bottom a few notches and toothpaste squeezes out the bristles. Twist&Brush, really? Who the hell wants to twist & brush, WE WANNA TWIST & SHOUT AMIRITE?! “GW, you seem hyper. What exactly did you have for lunch today?” *swinging from ceiling fan trying to lasso a dog with my belt* TWO QUARTS OF BIRTHDAY CAKE ICE CREAM WITH SPRINKLES, WHY?! One more shot after the jump.

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Hello, The Future! (Where’s My Flying Car?): Toothbrush With A Built-In Paste Resevoir

Boobs : they make everything better. Moobs: not so much . Still, I would touch one if I had my eyes closed and dude had the decency to shave his nipple hair . What? I’M NATURALLY CURIOUS. Enter the most progressive dentistry practice in the world: Dr. Marie Catherine Klarkowski whose practice is in Munich in southern Germany said that she came up with the idea after watching the way male visitors to the local Oktoberfest enjoyed looking at the traditional low-cut Dirndl dresses. So she ordered for herself and her 10 staff similar frilled blouses in the same style with low cut cleavages and tight bodices that work like a push-up bra. For Dr Klarkowski the investment paid off - she has a third more patients since the change - all of them male. Dr. Klarkowski added: “Competition doesn’t sleep - I know colleagues who have decorated their whole practice with Mickey Mouse and one even in Star Trek style .” Whoa whoa whoa — A STAR TREK DENTIST?! Forget boobs, I want to boldly go where no man has gone before! *hitting nitrous tank* “GW to Moonbase Alpha, come in Moonbase Alpha. There’s a man here with clip-on Vulcan ears trying to disengage my pants’ deflector shield. Do you read me? I’m going to pretend I’m asleep and see where this goes, over.” Dressed to Drill [austriantimes] Thanks to K.T., who doesn’t care just as long as she still gets a sticker and toothbrush after her visit.

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"Dressed To Drill" German Dentists & Nurses Show Off Their Fillings To Distract Patients

All the rage in the GW is enough to destroy half a continent. LED teeth attachments: they glow when you smile and can change colors. Plus they make an electric “buzz” whenever they light up. Alternatively, chew on a glowstick . Which I’ve actually done before when I was rolling (OFL, silly!) and ended up drinking. SPOILER: the green ones DO NOT contain superpowers. The new fashion accessories were originally created as an experiment by two Japanese designers and are now being used in a commercial advertising a winter sale at a Japanese clothing store, Laforet Harajuku. They are quickly becoming a sought after accessory. The LED smiles can easily be affixed to your teeth and glow different colors while you smile. The colors can be changed wirelessly through a computer interface. Mr. Ishibashi and Daito Manabe, the other designer and technologist on the project, are offering workshops in Japan showing people how to build their own LED smiles. So, let me get a head-count — how many of you would wear LED teeth? Zero, really? Well congratulations on not disappointing me for once. Hit the jump for another shot and two videos, one showing them off close-up, and another of a bunch of Japanese schoolgirls wandering around with the things.

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All The Rage In Japan: Light-Up LED Teeth

I hate myself for even using the term bling bling but I assure you I’ll take it out on my liver in just a little bit. But before the ritualistic alcohol abuse begins, here’s a $60K iPhone case made out of t-rex teeth and meteors . Ironic, don’t you think? Making a phone case out of sexiest beasts that ever lived and the very thing that killed them. Stuart Hughes is back at it again, tricking out iPhones in ridiculously outrageous jewels. His iPhone 4 “HISTORY Edition” is a customization unlike any other we’ve ever seen. The back of the HISTORY Edition iPhone 4 isn’t cut from glass — it’s made from the tooth of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and meteoric stone that’s dated back some 65 million years ago. Hughes is only going to make 10 of these hideous iPhones, with each going for about $62,700. The reason for such a design? Hughes wanted to make something “fierce.” Hey Stewart — mind if I call you Stewie? No? Too bad. Listen Stewie, if you wanted to make something “fierce”, an iPhone IS NOT THE PLATFORM TO BEGIN WITH. I don’t care if you wrap the thing in knives and razor wire, IT WILL NEVER BE FIERCE, only painful to answer. Your iPhone 4 made of glass? Nice, mine is made from a T-Rex’s tooth [dvice] Thanks to Kevin G, blueAlien, tkuper05, Mih0 and frankie, who all have phone cases made with real space technology stripped from alien spaceships that crash-landed here on earth. GTFO!

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Move Over, Platinum And Gold!: Dinosaur Teeth And Meteors — The New Bling Bling

This is an artist’s rendition (INVENT A TIME MACHINE ALREADY, GOD! ) of Leviathan melvillei , a 12-million year old sperm whale that used to snack on other whales thanks to it’s powerful jaws and foot-long teeth . ZOMG — imagine the damage you could do at In-N-Out with those things! “This is a pretty exciting discovery,” says Erich Fitzgerald, a vertebrate paleontologist at Museum Victoria in Melbourne, Australia. Leviathan represents “one thing we don’t have in the oceans today — a macropredator, a hypercarnivorous whale.” Modern sperm whales feed largely on invertebrates such as giant squid, but have been known to feed on fish and other creatures as well. The extremely robust, deeply-rooted structure of Leviathan’s teeth strongly suggests that the creature fed on large, presumably struggling bony prey like sharks do. The whale was named in honor of Herman Melville, the author of Moby-Dick , which, no lie, was actually based on ancient tales (I’m like thousands of years old) of my white whale. So technically it should be called Leviathan gwmegapeen , but I’ll let it slide. JUST THIS ONCE. Ancient Whale + Killer Shark = Hypercarnivorous Whale [wired] Thanks to Mr Geek, Christian, Matty, Grace, Jennaiii, Divo, and Sam K, who would have trained the whales to be ridden and looted Atlantis.

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Suck It, Kraken!: Giant Whale Eating Whale

Hanako is a Japanese robot patient used to train aspiring dentists . I don’t know about you, but if I was operating on that thing I would drill every single one of its teeth out sans drugs . Then crowbar it in the face and call its mother Robocop. Hanako will respond when greeted and asked several questions, and will react to the dental student working on its mouth. She can open and close her mouth when ordered, perform random actions such as a sneeze and even discharge saliva. Touch sensors in her mouth will have her wincing in pain if a press is too hard or an instrument goes somewhere it shouldn’t, or gag violently if things go south. “….if things go south”?!? I’m not putting my wiener anywhere near that thing! Hit the jump for a video of Hanako in action.

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Needs More Fillings: Robotic Dentistry Patient