This is a video of Mika explaining Star Wars: A New Hope . Mika is Japanese and practices her English by watching and explaining movies. If you like this one, there’s a bunch more, including The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi , Avatar, Inception, Spiderman and The Matrix. Hands down she does a better job that I could ever do. So there’s this one gold robot that talks all the time and is annoying as shit, right? And he hangs out with this other one that looks like a trashcan from the future and I don’t know if they’re in love or what but they definitely have SOME SORT of thing going on and then there’s this chick with cinnamon roll hair and she is like totally doable looking but if you saw her now in real life you’d be all HOLY SHIT WTF HAPPENED TO HER? It looks like time has been VERY unkind. Downright mean even. Okay, so I actually did better than I thought. Hit the jump for more movie spoilers than you could wave a Rosetta Stone CD at.

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Japanese Girl Practicing English Explains Star Wars

The Conversacube is a make-believe product that prevents stagnant conversation on a date by providing constant suggestions of things to say to the troll your mom set you up with. “Your eyes, they’re just so….far apart.” Lauren McCarthy’s idea seems harmless enough - a gadget that helps people be more sociable. Hell, if this thing was real it’s definitely something you and your date can talk about. It would also have family and kids versions, both of which are equally ridiculous. I’m pretty sure this is a commentary on how reliant people can be on technology and how some people are becoming more used to digital means of socializing than with physical or face-to-face interaction. Because as a serious concept this thing is just sad. Listen: I 100% agree with the commentary that technology is making it more difficult for some people to function in social situations. And that is EXACTLY why I’m opening a school that teaches folks how to be social. It’s gonna be called the ‘Geekologie Writer’s Non-nonprofit Institute for a Personable Society’. Sign up today, space in GW’s NIPS is extremely limited (they’re like the size of dried apricots). Hit the jump for the cube in action on a date.

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Conversacube: Never An Awkward Moment

This is a video of a dog who can bark ” Batman “. Or maybe it’s “Brittany”. Whatever the case, he sounds like a pig dying and probably breathes loud enough to keep you up at night. This is Teddy Almond Turtle, my mama’s Pug Dog. Ted enjoys baked beans, red capsicum, apples and Bat Man. waaahhhh Teddy Almond Turtle, really? HE IS NEITHER BEAR NOR NUT NOR TEENAGE MUTANT. You’d think being born with a face a mother didn’t hesitate to turn her back on would be disadvantage enough, but nooooooo. Wait — did that say he likes beans, capsicum and apples? God, can you even imagine what that dog’s ass smells like? I can’t but Chloe’s licking her lips about it! Hit it for the video.

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The Pug Who Barked ‘Batman’: Stop Crying Wolf Or He Won’t Come When We Need Him!