Steve Bolton (Michael’s talentless brother) is a British man who recently changed his name to Buzz Lightyear . Possibly to hit on children. A mechanic from West Bromwich, who considers himself to be the world’s biggest ‘Toy Story’ fan , has officially changed his name to Buzz Lightyear. Such was Steve Bolton’s love for the first two movies, he decided to do something special for the launch of ‘Toy Story 3′, so the 26-year-old contacted the UK Deed Poll Service and paid for the name change. Now he can legally have “Buzz Lightyear” on his passport (whether the destination “infinity and beyond” is acknowledged remains to be seen), credit cards etc. Oh so you’re the biggest ‘Toy Story’ fan, are you Steve? Well I’ve got news for you: THERE’S NO F***ING WAY. There are kids out there that love those movies more than you’ve ever loved anything in your life. Just sayin’, if I ripped Woody’s arms off would you crap your pants and cry all day? Exactly. British ‘Toy Story’ fan gets a Buzz out of name change [yahoo] Thanks to littlezan and Woody (or it will be when the paperwork comes through), who really are the biggest ‘Toy Story’ fans and have the tattoos to prove it. Suck it, Steve!

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Man Legally Changes Name To Buzz Lightyear

Note: I censor-barred the image (in case you couldn’t tell) but you can hit the jump for a NSFW version of what the pasties actually look like if you want. Just don’t come crying to me if your mom catches you and you end up grounded from the internet. Flying Pasties are 2-3mm thick rubber pasties that prevent the new airport security scanners from getting a good look at your tomatoes. Or your lettuce wrap . Sets start at $17 and come with catchy slogans (that airport personnel won’t be able to read so what’s the point?) like, “private” and “only my boyfriend sees me naked.” Did I mention they also sell a junk-covering male version for $10? Because they do. Alternatively, you can use the same product I do. It’s called not giving a shit. Available everywhere. Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a link to the product site.

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This Ain’t A Free Peep Show!: Flying Pasties Keep Privates Private From Airport Security

Note: I censor-barred the image (in case you couldn’t tell) but you can hit the jump for a NSFW version of what the pasties actually look like if you want. Just don’t come crying to me if your mom catches you and you end up grounded from the internet. Flying Pasties are 2-3mm thick rubber pasties that prevent the new airport security scanners from getting a good look at your tomatoes. Or your lettuce wrap . Sets start at $17 and come with catchy slogans (that airport personnel won’t be able to read so what’s the point?) like, “private” and “only my boyfriend sees me naked.” Did I mention they also sell a junk-covering male version for $10? Because they do. Alternatively, you can use the same product I do. It’s called not giving a shit. Available everywhere. Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a link to the product site.

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This Ain’t A Free Peep Show!: Flying Pasties Keep Privates Private From Airport Security

Did you know they make watermelon chillers? So did I, they’re called sytrofoam coolers filled with ice. But if you insist on being fancy-pants you can drop $230 on this thing. What is this thing? PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR ASS BLOWN AWAY ! (leaving your b-hole standing there confused why his cover just disappeared) Roundly it cools every as for “the cartridge” spring summer Siyuutou, according to season it warms with when OK. With outdoor furthermore showing the feature! As for the day when the summer is hot every in inserting the watermelon “the cartridge” roundly, in the sea bathing GO! Because it is cigar socket correspondence, in the car the [hi] it is to the core doing. And, in cold season as a warm warehouse warehouse large participation! If the can coffee and the tea, the meat [ma] and so on it is in you insert “the cartridge”, warm way it is possible with anytime to receive tastily. And, it can receive the new rice tastily by the fact that also the United States cools at fixed temperature. I have no idea WTF “the cartridge” is, but I want one. It sounds the lovechild of an Allspark and Arc Reactor. And with that kind of power– MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! — the world will be ours. Well technically mine, but I will make you a slave. Product Site via This Is the Watermelon Cooler You Were Looking For [wachovia] Thanks to fffffffffffffffffffffff, who cools watermelons the old fashioned way: liquid nitrogen. Ever shattered a tooth on a melon before? You will.

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Dammit, Why Didn’t I Think Of That?: Futuristic Japanese Watermelon Coolers — On Wheels

Is there anything sexier than a grandma strip-dancin’ ? Yes, every single thing in the world including being compacted to death in the back of a garbage truck. But for the six of you out there that are into crimes against nature , there’s the $115 Cushion-Grip Security Pole Mobility Aid. How about a review? The user needs this device to assist in getting in and out of bed safely. It has a nice cushion grip, is attractive, and easy to install. It is not as sturdy as I would have hoped it would be. It wiggles a bit in the middle and that makes me a bit nervous. But I like a little wiggle in the middle! No, no I don’t either. I like zero wiggles. Still, you’ve got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh. Product Site Thanks to Eric-tile, who may or may not volunteer at a nursing home.

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Sexy Time!: Stripper Poles For The Elderly

How bout some Street Fighter II inspired sneakers? No? I’m with ya, I only wear flip-flops too. Besides, you’ve gotta admit the Street Fighter resemblance is subtle at best. They could have at least thrown a hadouken on the side of the Ryus. And, I dunno, maybe some bigass thunder-thighs on the Chun Li’s . Shit, the more I look at them the more I’m convinced they aren’t even Street Fighter. Just wait — I give it three months before they’re selling them as Yo Gabba Gabba . Nike SB Dunk Street Fighter Pack [albotas]

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Kickin’ Ass: Street Fighter Inspired Nikes

Let’s not kid ourselves: you can’t watch mixed martial arts without getting aroused. So why not move those amorous feelings to the bedroom with a cage fighting bed? I can’t think of a good reason (well, besides the $1250 price tag). Pillow fight! Crafted from poplar hardwood poles, MDF frame with steel undercarriage bed supports. With the use of actual fencing, 9 gauge 6 core centers, foam padded rails and synthetic leather covers, this will last forever, just like the real deal. MDF Stairs include replica diamond plating Throwdown Anvil detail. Looking to get this bed for someone other than the little guy or gal? In addition to Twin, we have Full, Queen and King size as well! Oh man, this reminds me of the first time I walked in on my roommate having sex. Get it?! Because he was with another dude. Plus there was a ref. Product Site Thanks to BooGT, who [insert something about a rear naked choke-hold].

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Let’s Get It On!: MMA ‘Throwdown’ Caged Bed

Microsoft Game Studios Software Development Engineer Ray Arifianto’s soon-to-be wife had this custom USB wedding band made for him. Why? Because flash memory is the language of looooove. Psyche, it’s actually COBOL C++. The gold ring isn’t actually a functional USB drive, but its design is reminiscent of one. The interior is engraved with the words, “For a lifetime of memories,” an allusion to the USB’s storage capabilities. Aww! Shouldn’t it actually go on the thumb? Get it?! You know it’s a really beautiful thing when two people decide to share their lives together. Unfortunately, there’s something about me that sends all my relationships packing. BUT I THOUGHT WE SHARED SOMETHING SPECIAL! And I’m not just talking about clothes. Woman Gives USB Wedding Ring to Her Geeky Fianc [mashable] Thanks to Shenanigans, Blaqk Panda and Alex, who are all getting their significant others Firewire rings because they’re f***ing classy dudes.

Link:
Wife Has Custom USB Wedding Ring Made For Microsoft Game Developing Husband

The BeerBot Bottle Opening Shirt from ThinkGeek is a $20 tee with incorporated bottle opener . I assume BeerBot is supposed to be a copyright-free version of Bender , but I could be wrong. But you’re so handsome. Am I STILL wrong? Never been wronger, butterface! ThinkGeek Product Site via BeerBot Shirt Gets Your Bottles Open [uberreview] Thanks to sara, who knows the best way to drink beer is straight from the barley’s boobie. Wheat’s teat?

Excerpt from:
I’ll Stab You: BeerBot Bottle Opening Shirt

This is an Optimus Prime statue spotted at the site of the 2008 Beijing Olympics aquatic center. He stands life-size and was built entirely out of 10,108 scrap car parts. How tall is life-size? Try 32-feet. Sure you could argue that’s not Optimus’ actual height, but then I’d remind you this is China we’re talking about and you should just be thankful he doesn’t have Voltron for a head. Hit the jump for a zoomy-outier shot with a better view of the Bird’s Nest in the background.

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China Builds Life-Size Scraptimus Prime