SPOILER ALERT: Last six minutes of Smallville . Ever wanted to hear a guy go completely f***ing nuts watching the series finale of Smallville ? Even if you don’t know it yet, you do. This is the kind of shit I live for (plus nipples and beer). Dude’s like the double rainbow guy on triple the LSD WTF with an unhealthy mix of female hormone injections and boner pills on the side. I’m pretty sure he “completes”. It may be fake, it may be real, but it is definitely a reminder of just how little I feel inside. It’s true folks, I’m like a shell. A SHELL HOUSING ONE BADASS NINJA TURTLE. *karate kick!* Hit the jump for six minutes of damn bro, calm down before you hurt yourself!

Read the original post:
Damn Bro!: ‘Smallville’ Finale Freakout Video

In what can only be viewed as a blatant act of terrorism, Superman is renouncing his U.S. citizenship , citing ” America’s obesity problem he’s tired of being construed as an instrument of US policy.” You know what? Fine — but you better change your color scheme BECAUSE THESE COLORS DON’T RUN, CLARK… … … …KENT. CLARK KENT — THAT’S HIS REAL NAME! “Superman is a visitor from a distant planet who has long embraced American values. As a character and an icon, he embodies the best of the American Way,” DC’s co-publishers, Jim Lee and Dan DiDio said in a statement to FOX411.com. “In a short story in ACTION COMICS 900, Superman announces his intention to put a global focus on his never ending battle, but he remains, as always, committed to his adopted home and his roots as a Kansas farm boy from Smallville.” The landmark issue is certainly sparking controversy. “Besides being riddled with a blatant lack of patriotism, and respect for our country, Superman’s current creators are belittling the United States as a whole. By denouncing his citizenship, Superman becomes an eerie metaphor for the current economic and power status the country holds worldwide,” Hollywood publicist and GOP activist Angie Meyer told FOX411’s Pop Tarts column. First of all, WTF is a Pop Tarts column and can I eat it cold? Secondly, holy shit people are arguing over comic book characters . You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t get involved, it’s just that I’ve got other things to worry about. Namely, an erection lasting longer than four hours . I know the commercial says call your doctor, but what that’s just a ploy to kidnap me for biological experiments?! “Who knows — maybe you’ll wind up with a superpower…” … … …Hello, Dr. Shirling?! I’ve had a boner for 48-hours straight and I want to read minds! Superman Renounces U.S. Citizenship in Latest Action Comic [theblaze] and Superman Renounces His U.S. Citizenship in 900th Issue of Action Comics [foxnews] Thanks to Chris and Julian M., who both have dual-citizenships, and personalities . Ya’ll crazy!

Read more:
Superman Renounces His U.S. Citizenship

You read correctly: Batman and Superman is havin’ a baby together. No word yet on the sex, but I bet it’s gonna be a bat boy! Get it? Because they did it in the butt. Batman’s made up his mind, he’s keeping Superman’s baby [io9] Thanks to silvermidnight, who wants to have Aquaman’s baby so the little tyke can put an end to these oil leak shenanigans. Ah, child labor.

See the original post here:
Batman Pregnant With Superman’s Baby

This is a little gallery of old photographs with pictures of superheroes Photohaxored in. I thought they were pretty neat, but perhaps you don’t. And maybe that’s the fundamental difference between you and I. Well, besides how handsome and smart you are. Did I say you? I meant me. It’s true, one time I looked in a mirror and it shattered itself because it was so jealous of my handsomosity (and word wizardry). I jest — I was so ugly I put my fist through it. REFLECT ON THAT, YOU STUPID MIRROR! Also, my hand bled and this nancy Edward begged to lick it but I wouldn’t let him. Just sayin’, I can be a lamb too . Hit the jump for three more, including a little Fidel action.

See the original post here:
I Like: Superheroes In Old War Photographs