Yesterday when I first saw this I was Black Pillow. Now I’m Pasty-Skin Grape Nut Flakes. Really hoping the supervillains still take me seriously. Previously: Your zombie apocalypse weapon . What Is Your Superhero Name? [buzzfeed]

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Your Superhero Name (Is Going To Suck)

In what can only be viewed as a blatant act of terrorism, Superman is renouncing his U.S. citizenship , citing ” America’s obesity problem he’s tired of being construed as an instrument of US policy.” You know what? Fine — but you better change your color scheme BECAUSE THESE COLORS DON’T RUN, CLARK… … … …KENT. CLARK KENT — THAT’S HIS REAL NAME! “Superman is a visitor from a distant planet who has long embraced American values. As a character and an icon, he embodies the best of the American Way,” DC’s co-publishers, Jim Lee and Dan DiDio said in a statement to FOX411.com. “In a short story in ACTION COMICS 900, Superman announces his intention to put a global focus on his never ending battle, but he remains, as always, committed to his adopted home and his roots as a Kansas farm boy from Smallville.” The landmark issue is certainly sparking controversy. “Besides being riddled with a blatant lack of patriotism, and respect for our country, Superman’s current creators are belittling the United States as a whole. By denouncing his citizenship, Superman becomes an eerie metaphor for the current economic and power status the country holds worldwide,” Hollywood publicist and GOP activist Angie Meyer told FOX411’s Pop Tarts column. First of all, WTF is a Pop Tarts column and can I eat it cold? Secondly, holy shit people are arguing over comic book characters . You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t get involved, it’s just that I’ve got other things to worry about. Namely, an erection lasting longer than four hours . I know the commercial says call your doctor, but what that’s just a ploy to kidnap me for biological experiments?! “Who knows — maybe you’ll wind up with a superpower…” … … …Hello, Dr. Shirling?! I’ve had a boner for 48-hours straight and I want to read minds! Superman Renounces U.S. Citizenship in Latest Action Comic [theblaze] and Superman Renounces His U.S. Citizenship in 900th Issue of Action Comics [foxnews] Thanks to Chris and Julian M., who both have dual-citizenships, and personalities . Ya’ll crazy!

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Superman Renounces His U.S. Citizenship

Nice Stark mug. Remember Volkswagen’s Superbowl commercial featuring the lil Vader who couldn’t harness The Force that captivated audiences and stole our hearts ? Well this is a Marvel parody advertising the new Thor movie that, from what I’ve seen so far, may or may yes suck Zeus’ proverbial lightning rod. I’m talking about his wiener, folks. It shoots lighting and can turn a lover into a tropical storm. I grabbed it once over the dividing wall of two urinals and turned into a low-pressure system . True story. Hit the jump for the lil Thor in action.

Link:
Marvel Parodies Lil Darth Vader Volkswagen Commercial For Upcoming Thor Movie

Luke, I am your father. Just kidding, he and your mother were shot in a robbery! Ever wonder what a Batman / Ewok lovechild would look like? F*** you’re a freak. Seriously, it might not hurt to peep Amazon for some self-help books on that shit. You krinkier than a tauntaun stomach full of lightsaber dildos aside, this is a sketch by Lucas Lago depicting your wildest fantasies. Note: slightly larger version HERE in case you want to print it out and tape it inside a copy of National Geographic for some “bathroom reading”. Grab an extra roll of TP and go to town, champ! Lucas’ Website via Batman X Star Wars [laughingsquid] Thanks to cocoa, who promised to draw me some GW/dino lovechildren for Valentine’s. GIRL YOU SO GOOD TO ME.

Originally posted here:
Batman x Star Wars Characters = This?

Remember the animated gif from a couple weeks ago showing all the old Jokers ? Well here’s the Batman version. *fingers crossed for a Robin one next!* A guide: 1. Lewis Wilson (Batman, 1943) 2. Robert Lowery (Batman & Robin, 1949) 3. Adam West (Batman, 1966-1968) 4. Michael Keaton (Batman, Batman Returns, 1989 - 1992) 5. Kevin Conroy (Batman: The Animated Series, Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm, Justice League, Batman Beyond & Batman video game series 1992 - Current) 6. Val Kilmer (Batman Forever, 1995) 7. George Clooney (Batman & Robin, 1998) 8. Bruce Thomas (Batman Onstar Commercials, Birds Of Prey, 2000-2002) 9. Christian Bale (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, 2005 - 2012) I’m not gonna lie, I think George Clooney was my favorite. Did I say favorite? I meant least favorite. Still mad handsome though. He’s got nothing on Don Draper, but still, if the man grew a handlebar mustache I’d ride it. *brring brring* That was me ringing the bell! Animated GIF of the Day [thedailywh.at]

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Batman Through The Years, Animated Gif

This is a video of a dog who can bark ” Batman “. Or maybe it’s “Brittany”. Whatever the case, he sounds like a pig dying and probably breathes loud enough to keep you up at night. This is Teddy Almond Turtle, my mama’s Pug Dog. Ted enjoys baked beans, red capsicum, apples and Bat Man. waaahhhh Teddy Almond Turtle, really? HE IS NEITHER BEAR NOR NUT NOR TEENAGE MUTANT. You’d think being born with a face a mother didn’t hesitate to turn her back on would be disadvantage enough, but nooooooo. Wait — did that say he likes beans, capsicum and apples? God, can you even imagine what that dog’s ass smells like? I can’t but Chloe’s licking her lips about it! Hit it for the video.

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The Pug Who Barked ‘Batman’: Stop Crying Wolf Or He Won’t Come When We Need Him!

ROFLROFLOL! I see what you did there. Of course, it would have been funnier if Wonder Woman was the one missing. Get it? Because she’s a woman. And women , as you may well know, are notoriously poor drivers but will sometimes flash their hooters if you honk your horn enough. OH I’M SORRY — IS MY HUMOR TOO DEEP FOR YOU? Boner boner boner! No Flash Support on iPhone and iPad: Best Example! [walyou]

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A Visual Representation Of Apple’s No Flash Support Policy On The iPhone And iPad

This is a little gallery of old photographs with pictures of superheroes Photohaxored in. I thought they were pretty neat, but perhaps you don’t. And maybe that’s the fundamental difference between you and I. Well, besides how handsome and smart you are. Did I say you? I meant me. It’s true, one time I looked in a mirror and it shattered itself because it was so jealous of my handsomosity (and word wizardry). I jest — I was so ugly I put my fist through it. REFLECT ON THAT, YOU STUPID MIRROR! Also, my hand bled and this nancy Edward begged to lick it but I wouldn’t let him. Just sayin’, I can be a lamb too . Hit the jump for three more, including a little Fidel action.

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I Like: Superheroes In Old War Photographs

Want your own miniature bat signal ? Now’s your chance — a limited edition of 500 are being sold for $260 from Entertainment Earth . The miniature replica Bat-Signal features a sturdy metal construction and stands about 12-inches tall. It’s got a built-in cooling fan and can be swiveled and tilted to give you the best shot at making contact with the Dark Knight. Of course, since the light can only project the Bat symbol about 16-feet, don’t expect him to show, unless he happens to live in your bedroom closet. Now I’m not saying you should cut a bat out of black contact paper and slap it on a pre-existing lamp, but, I mean, recession. $4 bat signal: 1, $260 bat signal: 3. Wait a minute — 3? Damn you, style points! desktop bat-signal hails bugs not bats [technabob]

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Own Your Very Own (Miniature) Bat Signal