This is a picture of a $3-million, 328-foot wind turbine in North Ayrshire, Scotland trying to cope with hurricane winds. Obviously, it coped poorly. Like me in high school getting called a dork all the time. Which brings up an important topic: bullying. Listen up kids, I want you to remember this: no matter what mean things kids might say to you in school (and they’ll try to say the worst), just know that in six to ten years they’ll ask to be your friend on Facebook and you’ll look through their pictures and see they’re fat as shit and living in squalor with like three ugly babies. Trust me. You know what I’m talking about, Angela W.! You called me a four-eyed freak sophomore year and now look at you — breathing heavy with two cross-eyed kids from some redneck! Wind turbine can’t keep up; explodes into flames [dvice] Thanks to Bryan, who agrees the only thing better than green energy is black magic . I brought a run-over squirrel back to life!

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Gusty: Hurricane Causes Wind Turbine Explosion

Remember Mr. Slingshot ? He is like, soooooo into slingshots . I heard he likes them so much he wants to marry them . I know, it’s that serious . Me? I’m married to the lord . Or is that nuns? I dunno, but one of them used to let us drink the Ocean Spray cran-grape juice out of the refrigerator at church before it was transubstantiationed. It was a habit. HIYO — nun joke! This is Mr. Slingshot about to send a little car to meet its maker (Ford? I have no idea). Per the man himself: So I just came back sunburned and really tired, but happy because it was just a blast — so much fun. Unbelievable. I think this is the most amazing weapon — rubber-based weapon that I’ve ever made. [I'm] really proud. Well thanks for watching! And byebye. You gotta love a burly-ass dude who signs off his Youtube videos with a sweet “thanks for watching — byebye”, amirite? I am. Great, so now you’re in love with him too. I knew I shouldn’t have pointed that out! Hit the jump for the would consider bringing to a knife-fight.

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Mr. Slingshot Showing Off His 220-Pounder

Want to pretend you’re a giant robot ? I will f***ing kill you. But if you’re determined to die by my hand go ahead and pick up a pair of $85 Giant Cardboard Robot Arms from Etsy seller giantcardboardrobot , then give me a call . I’ll be waiting drinking. Arm yourself with giant cardboard robot arms! Perfect for giant robot hugs, super high high-fives, & terrorizing small children. Customize them just for you! Cover them in stickers, paint them, glue stuff to them, or add lights. Treat your new arms as your cardboard canvas. Each arm is approximately 5′ 6″ in length (about 3 feet longer from where your hands will grab), 9″ x 9″ in width. The arms allow for both 90 bending motion in the elbows as well as 360 rotation of the wrist. The arms break down into easily assembled component parts. You know what they say about a guy with giant cardboard robot arms, don’t you? He’s trying to compensate for something . Probably not having a soul, since that’s what differentiates man from machine. I will burn your heartless ass alive, Wannabe-Bot! Now transform and roll out back while I find the lighter fluid. Hit the jump for three more shots and another link to the seller’s Etsy if you’ve really decided it’s your time to go.

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You’ll Only Burn Faster, Card-Bot!: Giant Cardboard Robot Arms Available On Etsy

BrewDog, the Scottish brewery best known for its 32% ABV (alcohol by volume) Tactical Nuclear Penguin beer , is back at it with another beer that not only shatters their previous alcohol content record, but also claims the title of most expensive brew. Introducing ‘The End of History’, a 55% ABV beer that costs $765 per 12oz bottle AND COMES IN ITS OWN TAXIDERMIED KOOZIE. But can you suck the eyes out when you’re finished? The beer is the last high abv beer we are going to brew, the end point of our research into how far the can push the boundaries of extreme brewing, the end of beer. This blond Belgian ale is infused with nettles from the Scottish Highlands and Fresh juniper berries. Only 12 bottles have been made and each comes with its own certificate and is presented in a stuffed stoat or grey squirrel. The striking packaging was created by a very talented taxidermist and all the animals used were road kill. This release is a limited run of 11 bottles, 7 stoats and 4 grey squirrels. Each ones comes with its own certificate of authenticity. Listen, I’m no stranger to drinking out of animal carcasses. As a matter of fact, I’m drinking out of a bear I killed right now. But that’s not the point. The point is this: I think the small intestines might be leaking cause this beer tastes like shit. Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video the brewery released about the beer.

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Now That’s Classy: World’s Most Expensive Beer Comes In Taxidermied Animal Koozies