This is a sessy video of a pole dancing ninja that, for at least part of her routine, performs with her sword out. An actual sword FYI, that wasn’t a euphemism for a man-hammer. Or was it? It wasn’t so just go watch the video. Pole dancing ninjas : they’re not as uncommon as you’d expect. Just sayin’, strippers have stolen my wallet more times than I’d like to admit. FINE, ELEVEN TIMES, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! I need one of those wallet chains but I don’t want people to think I’m a Juggalo. Hit the jump for the *slash* OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THAT PART OF THE ACT.

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Pole Dancing Ninja Performs With A Sword

Did I really get drunk at lunch and spend the last two hours asleep on the john ? You know I did! And since my brain never recovered from the nap (plus my legs fell asleep and I beat my face on the towel bar standing up), here’s a little burlesque cosplay action to end the week. LA Weekly reporter/photographer Erin Broadly sent me these shots from the recent ‘Ladies of Sci-Fi Burlesque’ show at Bordello (do you need a gaffer next time?) including “Pris from Blade Runner , Ripley from the Alien franchise, Maria from Metropolis , Aeon Flux, Barbarella and Metroid’s Samus Aran.” I posted a SFW shot or two from each act after the jump, but you’ll need to check out LA Weekly’s coverage for the full 42-picture set (some NSFW ). So yeah, if you need me I’ll be drunk for the next 72 hours. Did I say 72? Because I meant 48. No, no I didn’t either. Somebody’s writing tyrannosaurs wrecked on Monday! Hit the jump for a bunch more and link to the entire gallery.

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Sci-Fi Strippin’: More Cosplay Burlesque Action

Cups, get it? Like bras . Except the booboo looking strippers in the picture actually set beverage cups on the hood (which I wouldn’t stand for). They don’t call me hawk-eyes for nothing you know. Is that a Wendy’s next door? A South Carolina police officer feared his cop car was looking dirty, so he took it to a stripper-sponsored “Tits n Tats” car wash to get his cruiser shined. There are pictures. They ended up on Facebook. He got fired. “I think he took his personal car there first and then he went in his police car,” Caldwell said. “I don’t think he was trying to be malicious. I think he used completely poor judgment.” Haha, he took his personal car and then came back for more in the cruiser. That’s hilarious. I would have just taken my personal car twice. Or — OR — stolen a car . Sure you miss out on the dash-cam footage, but that’s a small price to pay for being able to set it on fire later and blame on a drug cartel. Haha, what do you mean forensics found titty residue on the windshield? *whistling* Do Not Post Pictures of Strippers on the Hood of Your Cop Car on Facebook [gawker] and Geekologie’s Facebook Page (where I will continue to post boozy pics to my heart’s content) Thanks to Jessica, who isn’t one of the girls in the photo and boy is her dad happy about it.

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I Said No Cups On The Car!: Police Officer Takes Patrol Car To Strip Club Car Wash, Pictures Posted On Facebook, Officer Fired

Is there anything sexier than a grandma strip-dancin’ ? Yes, every single thing in the world including being compacted to death in the back of a garbage truck. But for the six of you out there that are into crimes against nature , there’s the $115 Cushion-Grip Security Pole Mobility Aid. How about a review? The user needs this device to assist in getting in and out of bed safely. It has a nice cushion grip, is attractive, and easy to install. It is not as sturdy as I would have hoped it would be. It wiggles a bit in the middle and that makes me a bit nervous. But I like a little wiggle in the middle! No, no I don’t either. I like zero wiggles. Still, you’ve got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh. Product Site Thanks to Eric-tile, who may or may not volunteer at a nursing home.

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Sexy Time!: Stripper Poles For The Elderly

Okay, so here’s the gameplan: you run to the bank for singles while I stuff my pants with chicken . One two three, BREAK! Geekologie’s Facebook Page Thanks to Jonathan and Julien, who don’t send tips as much as post them on Geekologie’s Facebook page. Hey I know, that tip form can be tricky.

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So Hot: The Sexiest Thing I’ve Seen All Day

You really think I’d let Burlesque Week on Geekologie come to an end without a little action for Friday? No sir/ma’am! This is a video of Princess Peach stripping it down (these are actually the video associated with THIS old post), but hit the jump for some Chun Li, Link/Zelda and IHaveNoIdea action. So yeah, thus ends Burlesque Week. But be sure to tune in Monday for the start of ‘Pictures I Drew Of Myself Mounting Dinosaurs’ Week. I think it’s gonna be even hotter! Hit the jump for a video of more characters and a link to the picture gallery. UPDATED : Added another Link burlesque video (complete with Triforce pasties) because I love you.

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WEEWOO!: Video Game Characters Burlesque