THERE — IN THE BACK BY THE iPADS! Some spaz, dressed as a ninja and driving a stolen Honda Accord, crashed the vehicle into the plate-glass front of an Apple store in Greensboro, North Carolina with the intent of burglary. Buuuuuuuut then got scared and ran away without stealing anything. Dude’s good. The suspect was dressed in what a witness told 107.5 KZL resembled a ninja suit, drove through the store’s plate glass windows early Friday then ran away without taking anything. A security guard in the store was not hurt in the 4:45 a.m. incident. Police said the Honda that was abandoned at the store was reported stolen more than an hour after the crash.around 6 a.m. HA — you can pretty much forget about ever making that ‘top 10 ninjas of all time’ list! Please tell me you at least took out a couple security cameras with throwing stars. No? Just peed a little and ran away? Your ass wouldn’t even make the Foot Clan! ‘Ninja’ Crashes Car into Apple Store in Greensboro [myfox8] Thanks to clothing5, who lives in Greensboro and once rode his bike over a bunch of 4-foot fluorescent tubes during his annual neighborhood stunt spectacular. I’m impressed!

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Thieving ‘Ninja’ Drives Car Through Apple Store, Runs Away Before Stealing Anything

Apparently Microsoft’s search engine Bing has been stealing search results from Google and Google recently ran a sting operation to prove it. DAMN — BUSTED, GATES! (Sorry, but we’re all gonna have to hop the fence). Google first smelled a rat when misspelled searches on Bing would bring up the same spelling corrected results as a Google search, even though Bing didn’t attempt to correct the misspelled search term. Then they noticed a stronger than expected correlation between the top 10 results for many searches. So they ran a sting, where they created “synthetic” searches by adding a random letter and number series to various web pages. A Bing search for that series returned no results until it was manually added to Google’s search results, at which point it would magically appear in the Bing search. Bing hasn’t actually denied Google’s claim, saying only that they use “multiple signals and approaches” to create their results. Haha, “multiple approaches”. Well obviously one is “use Google’s results”, what are the other ones? “We don’t actually have any other ones.” WELL THROW SOME GEEKOLOGIE LINKS IN THERE, SHIT! Google: Bing Is Cheating, Copying Our Search Results [searchengineland] (ultra in-depth article explaining the findings) and Google claims Bing is cheating by copying their searches [dvice] Thanks to Will C, buck and Amy, who don’t steal anything but hearts. What in the — I thought I felt dead inside!

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They Took Everything!: Google Accuses Microsoft Bing Of Stealing Search Results

Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn’t having it . BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN! Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital’s Burn Center. Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van on the lot of Abundant Faith Church, 1228 Lodge Ave. Something sparked, according to the police report, catching the van on fire and burning King . The fire leaves the church without one of its two vans, which was supposed to help transport youth members to St. Louis this weekend. Officers arrived and found King, who told them he was burned when he stopped at 1228 Lodge Ave. to help another man who was on fire. Firefighters and fire investigators found a cordless drill next to the van. LOLWUT — cordless drilling a gas tank?!?! Let’s say you somehow managed to not set your dumbass on fire, what were you gonna do when the gas started flowing? Catch it in your mouth and spit it into a bucket? Okay that’s actually pretty good. Police: Man caught self on fire trying to steal gas from church van [courierpress] Thanks to Dakota, who tried electric drilling a dairy truck once and ended up with nothing but a milk mustache. I’m not gonna lie, you look handsome.

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Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze

This is a video of Batman swooping down out of nowhere to abscond with some poor bastard’s tacos right at the moment of drive-thru window handoff. The Caped Crusader reduced to taco theft , I never thought I’d see the day. Coming out of the closet with Robin sure, but stealing another man’s Fire sauce? That’s cold, Batman. Mr. Freeze cold. And speaking of cold — did you know if you put your sleeping roommate’s hand in cold water he’ll form ice crystals in his bladder? Okay, so I made that up. But if you put a screwdriver in his hand and tickle his nose he will put an eye out! Hit the jump for Burrito Wayne in action.

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Batman: Vigilante Superhero Or Taco Thief?

This is a surveillance video that was just released from a Swedish bank robbery that went down back in September. The robbers landed a helicopter on the roof, broke into the Louvre-ass looking ceiling , and proceeded to escape with over $5 million (US) in Swedish Fish kronar. Krona krona bills ya’ll. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on whether or not you view these guys as brilliant schemers or common criminals, 10 of them got caught and are going on trial next month. But now that the trial is about to begin, they’ve released the above footage of the crime itself. Pfft, amateurs. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t one of the most important things to remember when robbing a bank IS NOT TO GET CAUGHT? Cause otherwise you’re not so much a bank robber as you are prison penis fodder, are you? Hoho — YO ASS GONNA GET STOLE! Hit the jump for the crime in action.

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Video Of A $5 Million Swedish Bank Robbery