This is a custom electric guitar pieced together by Youtuber fiskybusiness89 out of a plastic Millennium Falcon toy and handmade R2-D2 head stock. I don’t know about you, but I for one would smash the shit out of that on stage after one song and then yell “SHOW’S OVER, NO REFUNDS.” Did I mention it’s hyperdrive lights up and has sound effects? Sound effects IN ADDITION to the standard guitar ones (twang twangs). Still, no word if it can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsnips. “You mean parsecs?” I don’t know, do I? “You’ve never seen Star Wars, have you?” Ha, only The Wrath of Khan. Hit the jump for a video demo.

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Millennium Falcon Guitar With Light & Sound FX

This is a USS Enterprise USS East Peoria Christmas lights display spotted in East Peoria, Illinois, which is apparently known for its extravagant Christmas lights AND NOTHING ELSE. *Wikipedia-ing to verify* Okay so the Caterpillar Tractor Company does a lot of manufacturing there, that’s something. Oh, and it’s where comedian Sam Kinison was born. Geez, no wonder he was so screamy — I’m from West by God Virgina and I’m full of rage myself. “Rage — or shit .” Both. Jedi Ninjas, Stay Puft Snowman, Where’s the Doctor, Harry Potter VS. Lord of the Rings and MORE [nerdbastards] via USS Enterprise in Christmas Lights [neatorama] Thanks to chichi, who agrees the only Christmas light a person really needs is a warm fireplace and somebody naked to share it with. *disrobing* To the bearskin rug!

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Nog Me Up, Scooty: Enterprise X-Mas Lights Display

I actually used to have a cat that was retardis — miss you Little Man. This is a half-scale Dr. Who TARDIS cat house lovingly built by woodworking-wonder Astromark for his kitty Kaylee because, I dunno, I guess cats are really spoiled these days. I remember a time just a couple years ago when you could give a cat an empty soda box and they felt like they’d lost all nine lives and gone to heaven. Now you ding a crystal glass with a dessert fork and they come running at their leisure and are all, “Fancy Feast, seriously? I’m shitting in your shoes tonight, @$$hole. ” Hit the jump for a bunch more of the finished product, including an interior shot that admittedly does look a lot bigger than the outside would lead you to believe.

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I Would Play In That!: A TARDIS Cat House

This is a giant-ass Millennium Falcon beanbag chairbed. I would sleep on it. But I’d also eat on it, because I’m a disgusting fatbody. True story: when I was doing my quarterly bed laundry this weekend I found a turkey drumstick, half a piece of pizza (sans crust), two Fruit Roll-Ups and an unopened pudding-pack in the tuck at the bottom. I had a feast . “You’re sick.” No, I’m full is what I am. “OF SHIT!” *dancing* I know but I’m trying to wait till I’m home to go! Millennium Falcon Beanbag of the Day [geeks.thedailywh.at] Thanks to Jaded (ditto) and aaron, who sleep face down on the carpet like nature intended. Nature, or alcoholism? Pass out on my sofa with your shoes on and get a complimentary schlong Sharpie’d across your forehead on Faceybooks and Tweeter

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Ever Made Love In Less Than 12-Parsecs?: An 8-Ft Millennium Falcon Beanbag Chairbed

Setting the record for the longest (length-wise) LEGO production set to date, the 8-pound, 3,500-piece, 50″ Executor will go on sale September 1st for a cool $400. And I’d be tempted to build one except A) it costs $400 and B) that’s a lot of money that C) I don’t have. So yeah, looks like I’ll be watching my roommate put his together. Maybe he’ll let me snap a couple bricks into place. Me : Hey bro, mind if I put a couple pieces together? Him : Yes, actually I do. Me : Oh come on — who bought the beer you’re drinking? Him : I did. Me : And who’s been drinking it all? Him : You have. Me : Sooooooooooo…? Lego Super Star Destroyer 10221 [thebricklife] (with a ton more info, pictures and an interview with the designer. Thanks to Roger Wilco, who — damn I miss those games. Fly shotgun in my rocketship on Faceybooks and Tweeter

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Longest Production LEGO Set To Date: Darth Vader’s Super Star Destroyer, The Executor

Did anybody else know there was a bed in that thing ? Because I didn’t. Of course, you could write a small pamphlet about all the the things I don’t know. Sike! They’d all fit on one side of a Post-It . Anyway, some talented craftsman is selling the Tardis pull-out bed he made for his son because he’s grown up and doesn’t want to sleep in a phone-booth time-machine spaceship anymore. ????? YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO SLEEP IN A PHONE-BOOTH TIME-MACHINE SPACESHIP! Are you, Doctor? Doctor? *poking with a Sonic Screwdriver * Uh-oh. I am personally endorsed by Sir Richard Taylor of Weta Workshop, for being a multitalented artist including restoration, of just about anything and exquisite one off handmade models. Sir Richard has my models in his collection in the foya of Weta Impressive. Unfortunately for your kids, bidding is already up to $3,200 New Zealand (~$2,400 US) with eight days bidding remaining. So yeah, looks like it’s back to sleeping in the barn for them. Haha, you thought I didn’t know?! One time I saw little Jimmy with a piece of straw in his hair and figured it out! Just kidding, he told me he sleeps in the barn. Doctor Who Tardis bed handmade [trademe] (with a bunch more pictures and info about the actual construction/features) via Badass Homemade Bed of the Day [thedailywh.at]

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Up For Auction: Dr. Who TARDIS Murphy Bed

What, no “These Books Have Three-Tittied Alien Chicks Wielding Swords In Spaceships on Their Covers” section? Amazon it is. How To Sell Books [buzzfeed] Thanks to Karsten, who only buys books for their cover art. Who doesn’t?!

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Nobody Reads Anyway: How To Sell Books

Apparently air traffic control at Xiaoshan Airport in China spotted a UFO on radar and was forced to divert flights until E.T. phoned the f*** home. Arcing over Zhejiang’s provincial capital Hangzhou, the UFO appeared to glow with an eerie white light and left a bright trail in its wake. Stunned witnesses reported seeing a comet-like fireball in the sky and a number of local residents took photos of the strange ball of light. ‘The thing suddenly ran westwards fast, like it was escaping from something,’ he said. Running from something is right. It’s called US. “This planet is a shithole, lets GTFO and hit that titty bar.” “The Milky Way?” “You know it, brotha — high-tentacle!” Chinese airport closed after fiery UFO is spotted flying over city [dailymail] Thanks to Romeo, Jordan and Peter Pan > Jiff, who would have PEWed that sucker out of sky, full-nelsoned those alien scumbags, and beat the secrets of the universe out of their bug-eyed brains.

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Airport Closes After UFO Spotted In China