Presumably because some bigwig in the marketing department wanted to make a classy exit and leave the company flipping a proverbial bird , Hostess actually branded their Snowball treats as ‘Snowballimus’ (previously: Green Lantern GloBalls ) and another cupcake snack as ‘Chocwave Shockwaves’. The Chocwaves sound okay but the Snoballimuses look utterly disgusting, which is saying a lot because blue is probably my favorite color food. “Razzleberries?” Smurfs. Hit the jump for a shot of the other.

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Your Brand Manager, They Should Be Fired: Transformer Branded Hostess Snack Cakes

$9 Soylent Green crackers : not made with people , but with a made with people pricetag. That’s a little questionable. But they are packed with spinach and “high energy plankton”, so you can at least get your Popeye on knowing you’re doing The Krusty Krab a service. Soylent Green Crackers are the food stuff the world has been waiting for. A pleasing green cracker is low in fat and full of spinach, high energy plankton, and a special blend of herbs and people. Wait, what? Did we say people? DID WE SAY PEOPLE? OH SNAP - SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!! Ok, it’s not really people. But Soylent Green Crackers are delicious and a great conversation piece . Listen: if you’re down to buying novelty crackers as a conversation piece, your ass needs to find some shit to talk about pronto BECAUSE THAT IS JUST F***ING SAD. Hey guys — did you see my Soylent Green crackers on the table? They’re people! LOLOL. What else, what else? So, how about that weather tod– leaving so soon? ThinkGeek Product Site Thanks to David, who’ll eat anything with BBQ or Polynesian sauce on it. Pfft, who wouldn’t?!

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Soylent Green: Real Product, Not Real People

Did you know they make watermelon chillers? So did I, they’re called sytrofoam coolers filled with ice. But if you insist on being fancy-pants you can drop $230 on this thing. What is this thing? PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR ASS BLOWN AWAY ! (leaving your b-hole standing there confused why his cover just disappeared) Roundly it cools every as for “the cartridge” spring summer Siyuutou, according to season it warms with when OK. With outdoor furthermore showing the feature! As for the day when the summer is hot every in inserting the watermelon “the cartridge” roundly, in the sea bathing GO! Because it is cigar socket correspondence, in the car the [hi] it is to the core doing. And, in cold season as a warm warehouse warehouse large participation! If the can coffee and the tea, the meat [ma] and so on it is in you insert “the cartridge”, warm way it is possible with anytime to receive tastily. And, it can receive the new rice tastily by the fact that also the United States cools at fixed temperature. I have no idea WTF “the cartridge” is, but I want one. It sounds the lovechild of an Allspark and Arc Reactor. And with that kind of power– MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! — the world will be ours. Well technically mine, but I will make you a slave. Product Site via This Is the Watermelon Cooler You Were Looking For [wachovia] Thanks to fffffffffffffffffffffff, who cools watermelons the old fashioned way: liquid nitrogen. Ever shattered a tooth on a melon before? You will.

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Dammit, Why Didn’t I Think Of That?: Futuristic Japanese Watermelon Coolers — On Wheels