Mike Duke, who might have the simplest name ever, modded his late-model Mercury Cougar (which I used to own back in 2001 before sliding it off an icy road , wrapping it around a couple trees and winding up in the ICU for 11 days) into a Bugatti Veyron . Basically by fabricating a giant body kit . Now I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true: you almost lost your Geekologie Writer before you even knew him. Petrolhead Mike Duke, 25, spent nine months transforming his Ford Cougar into a red and black imitation of the 1,000bhp motor. A specially-designed bodykit makes it indistinguishable from a 1million Veyron and the interior has been re-styled and covered in leather. But the engine is the Cougar’s standard 2.5 litre V6 model, meaning its power falls well short of the 1,000bhp developed by the Veyron’s 8-litre powerplant. This means 0-62mph in 8.2 seconds and a top speed of 140mph - a way off the Veyron’s 2.5 seconds and 253mph. Why? Why do single men do anything — to trick women into coming home with them. *fumbling around with keys, finally opens door* “This apartment is dingy.” It’s a safehouse baby, I’m hiding out. “Driving that sports car?” I’m a spy, and spy’s drive fancy cars. “Who are you?” Duke, Mike Duke — Her Majesty’s Secret Service Center and Autobody Repair. Hit the jump for several more shots of the in-process and a couple more angles of the finished product PLUS A LINK TO THE EBAY AUCTION WHERE YOU CAN BUY THE THING ($89K) AND LIVE THE DREAM.

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Man Convincingly Mods $2,000 Mercury Cougar Into $2Million Bugatti Veyron Lookalike

Because so many of you seem to pop raging Pokeboners anytime I post something pocket-monster related , here’s a gallery of Team Rocket cosplay by skilled costumer/cosplayer/photographer Ryoko Demon . There’s a bunch more after the jump, plus a bonus track of the official Pokemon Black and White theme song by Presidents of the United States of America (the band, dummy, not Taft and Roosevelt). So yeah, did you all run out and grab the new Black and White release this weekend? I did not. I did grab an Orange Julius (okay, four) from the mall though, so that’s something. Something delicious as f***! I don’t care what my doctor says, the diarrhea’s worth it. Hit the jump and get your looky-looky and listen on.

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Amazing Team Rocket Pokemon Cosplay

This is an older video that’s making it’s way around the internets of a Shaolin Monk (who the Wu-Tang clan would encourage you NOT to f*** with) throwing a needle clear through a pane of glass , shot at 1,000 frames-per-second. Now I’m not saying it’s not impressive, I’m just saying I’ve got a lot of buttons that need sewed back on and they’re not gonna do it themselves . *ahem* I’m looking at you, saffron-robe. Haha, stop punching me — it tickles! *WA-BAP* Okay now that one just stopped my heart. Hit the jump for the ‘eh, I could do that’. No, no you couldn’t either.

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Shaolin Monk Throws Needle Through Glass

British artist Keira Rathbone uses a typewriter to ‘type’ pictures with the letters , numbers and symbols available. There are a couple closeups of this particular piece after the jump, which are definitely worth checking out. Pretty awesome, right? Now I know what you’re thinking, and no, you could not do better. You really need to start being more realistic about your abilities. Just sayin’, some people are good at everything, some people are good at some things, and then there’s you. Then me. :/ Hit the jump for several more of the impressiveness, along with a shot of the artist at work.

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This Manuscript Is Illegible!: Typewriter Art

Did anybody else know there was a bed in that thing ? Because I didn’t. Of course, you could write a small pamphlet about all the the things I don’t know. Sike! They’d all fit on one side of a Post-It . Anyway, some talented craftsman is selling the Tardis pull-out bed he made for his son because he’s grown up and doesn’t want to sleep in a phone-booth time-machine spaceship anymore. ????? YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO SLEEP IN A PHONE-BOOTH TIME-MACHINE SPACESHIP! Are you, Doctor? Doctor? *poking with a Sonic Screwdriver * Uh-oh. I am personally endorsed by Sir Richard Taylor of Weta Workshop, for being a multitalented artist including restoration, of just about anything and exquisite one off handmade models. Sir Richard has my models in his collection in the foya of Weta Impressive. Unfortunately for your kids, bidding is already up to $3,200 New Zealand (~$2,400 US) with eight days bidding remaining. So yeah, looks like it’s back to sleeping in the barn for them. Haha, you thought I didn’t know?! One time I saw little Jimmy with a piece of straw in his hair and figured it out! Just kidding, he told me he sleeps in the barn. Doctor Who Tardis bed handmade [trademe] (with a bunch more pictures and info about the actual construction/features) via Badass Homemade Bed of the Day [thedailywh.at]

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Up For Auction: Dr. Who TARDIS Murphy Bed

This is a short video of a cat playing Duck Hunt . You can tell he’s good because he doesn’t hesitate to go right after that annoying f***ing dog . I also love how he keeps waiting for the birds to fly out the top of the monitor . Haha, animals — so stupid . But seriously, where do they go when they fly offscreen? Please don’t say hell, please don’t say hell, please don’t say hell. “Hell”. GAAAH, YOU JUST DID THAT TO HURT ME, DIDN’T YOU?! You’re sick. Hit the jump for some blatant disregard for proper gaming peripherals.

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Cats With Guns: Kitty Playing Duck Hunt

Maddie Chambers went and built herself a super impressive looking Bag End hobbit hole dollhouse . It’s amazing. I posted a couple more pictures after the jump, but Maddie has between two and three billion on her website which you should go check out to see the whole thing. My penis? You’d need two more eyes to see the whole thing. Hit it for a couple more shots and another link to Maddie’s website.

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Eye Candy: Amazing Bilbo Baggins Dollhouse

This is a video of a Polish truck driver drifting his semi (sans trailer) for a minute straight. It was pretty impressive and definitely put those asshats in ‘The Fast And Furiously Beating Off To Modified Civics’ to shame. Per the video uploader: best driver from poland kopiowanie bez zezwolenia zabronione!!! komentarze z ksywami lub nazwiskami ewentualnych drajwerow beda usuwane I honestly have no idea what all that said but I assume they just called me something dirty. OH REALLY? Well how many Poles does it take to drift a semi? 10. One to sit in a stationary truck and 9 to not know how to fake it with CGI. Oooh — BU-BU-BU-BURN! Youtube Thanks to mike, who once drifted a dump truck for eight minutes before all the wheels blew off and it barrel rolled into an embankment. Awesome.

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They Have Trucks In Poland?: Polish Semi Driver Drifts Truck For A Minute Straight

This is a video of ninja /sign-spinner Matthew Kermode. He can spin a sign like nobody’s business . But it is — he works for a sign-spinning business! Taking his headphones off to talk with us for a second, the sign samurai handed us a card out of his wallet: “Matthew Kermode — AArrow Sign Spinner, Spinstructor.” (Yes, “AArrow.”) He said he’s been doing this for 10 years now, translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill. Kermode mostly works in the East Bay for the Martinez-based AArrow, spinning signs for housing developers. As far as who today’s client Jigsaw is, “I’m not 100-percent sure.” Kermode tried to be modest, saying he’s not the most talented spinner in the company. “We have a team of 15 guys right now and they all have talent. Different degrees of skill, but they all have talent.” He couldn’t have gotten the title “Spinstructor” for nothing. “…translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill”??? What’s more marketable than STEALTH ASSASSIN-RY? I can’t think of anything. Well, besides handsome blogger. Yep yep yep, TONS of opportunity over here. The Amazing Spinning Sign Samurai Wows Fourth Street [sfweekly] Thanks to Rich the Destroyer, Bob the Builder’s mortal enemy.

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For When You Can’t Kill: Sign Spinning

NOTE : Probably NSFW just because most employers frown on videos of dancers working the pole, but there is no nudity or even thongs, so yeah, use your own discretion (read: push play). No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. Also, I saw things happen in this video that I didn’t think were humanly possible (mostly towards the end). Beautiful things. Think a family of unicorns cresting a double rainbow on the first day of spring, but then replace that with a stripper throwing her hooha around a pole, and you’ve got it. Youtube Thanks to Party Kid Transformer and Julia, who can perform all these stunts without the pole because they’re both powerful sorcerers.

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Just Doing My Job: 2009 Pole Dancing Contest