This is a video of a guy playing Battlefield 3 when he ejects out of his plane, rocket-launches an enemy jet , then gets back in his and flies off. “So just like the title said?” EXACTLY like the title said, except set to the A-Team theme song. You think anybody could actually do this in real life? “Absolutely not.” What if the pilot was wearing a jetpack? “No.” But what if it was Harry Potter? “I’m leaving.” But we haven’t even played footsie! Hit the jump for the video, plus a longer one of dude doing it over and over and over again.

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Battlefield 3: The Old "Jump Out Of Your Plane, Rocket Launch An Enemy’s, Then Get Back In Yours" Move

I’mma eat your face, Chief! In other busty news (a wise boob man once told me, “you can never get enough bust”), this is a giant Master Chief cake created by Mike’s Amazing Cakes . How the hell they managed to make such a gravity-defying cake is beyond me, but I suspect it involves being chockful of inedible wooden dowels and chicken wire. “Don’t even say that — Master Chief is ALL MAN.” Haha — somebody’s got a crush! It’s me, I’m in love with a duck at the pond. I bring him the crust from my sandwiches and in return he quacks and follows me around. It’s kind of a Romeo and Juliet thing but even sweeter because he waddles. Hit the jump for a whole bunch more including a shot of one convention-goer about to be put out of his misery.

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Halo’s Master Chief Gets The Cake Treatment

Note: High-res version of the board HERE but make sure to check out the game pieces and cards after the jump. This is a Fallout themed Monopoly game made by German DeviantARTist Elisabeth Redel for her Fallout-loving boyfriend (whose name I couldn’t find so we will call him Vault Boy). It is ultra impressive and clearly a sign of TRUE LOVE. Ooooooooor advanced radiation poisoning. The board was printed on a 50 x 50 cm PVC plate. Every street is a location from the Fallout game. “GO” is now “G.O.A.T.” and “free parking” is the “please stand by” screen. Every card has one of the Fallout3 or Fallout New Vegas perks on it and has a really cool old playingcard image on the back. I actually beat New Vegas last week and just started playing 3 in the past few days. I have a hard time sticking to the mission though so I keep wandering too far into DC and getting my ass handed to me by Super Mutants. Just a couple million more shots with my laser pistol and your ass is grass, Mister Mutant! That’s what I say when I’m playing. Also: “dammit — why’s there no ‘bang this person’ dialog option?” I’m into ghouls. No, no I’m not. But you’ve gotta admit, the golden geckos in New Vegas weren’t bad looking. Hit the jump for closeups of the pieces and cards.

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Super Impressive Fallout Monopoly Game

I hate posting two of the same subject in a row but you should really watch this thing. It’s a Portal fan-film called ‘No Escape’ AND IS MOST IMPRESSIVE. Plus has a pretty sweet surprise ending . That’s all, since I’m not giving it anymore time time I won’t even count this as a post. As a matter of fact, forget you ever saw it. Joking — share it with your friends and shit, please — I’ve got a fat, pimply face to feed. Hit the jump and ‘holy shi-shi, that was actually really good’.

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Portal, No Escape: Just Watch, Is Impressive

This is a homemade R2-D2 crash helmet lovingly constructed by artist Jenn Hall. However she is not REQUIRED to wear it, so don’t ask her if she licks bus windows (trust me, she took offense when I did). Tell me a little bit more about that sweet R2D2 helmet you’ve got. How did you make it? Did you start off with some sort of simple one and paint it? Initially, it was the ugly duckling of helmets. It looked pretty jacked up before I did my fairy godmother thing to it. It was an odd, dark maroon color and it had been used as a rental helmet, so it had sustained damage over time. Long story short, I did a lot of spray painting and clear coating. Okay, I want that. And not just so I can recreate the scene where R2 gets spit out by the Dagobah dragonsnake swamp-monster, BUT HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE? “Like a 6 out of 10.” Jesus, that’s it?! Well I’m not gonna do it if it’s less than a 7. “Is there a chance you’ll die?” Haha, a HUUUUGE one. “It’s an 11.” Awesome — ready my cannon. Hit the jump for a bunch more of Jenn modeling the helmet and a link to her personal art page.

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R2-D2 Crash Helmet: Please Tell Me You Made That To Get Shot Out Of A Cannon

This is Optimus Prime carved into a watermelon . Or is it a watermelon carved into Optimus Prime ? “Neither, that’s a cantaloupe.” Can’t elope?! But we love each other and our families are feuding! “Did you really just…I hope you feel shame for even typing that.” I do, I really do. For everything. BUT MOSTLY FOR JUST OWNING YOUR ASS WITH WORDS! The Optimus Prime Watermelon Carving [obviouswinner] Thanks to khz, who once filled a watermelon with moonshine and then took it to senior center picnic because he’s a terrible person.

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Seedy: An Optimus Prime Carved Watermelon

Mike Duke, who might have the simplest name ever, modded his late-model Mercury Cougar (which I used to own back in 2001 before sliding it off an icy road , wrapping it around a couple trees and winding up in the ICU for 11 days) into a Bugatti Veyron . Basically by fabricating a giant body kit . Now I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true: you almost lost your Geekologie Writer before you even knew him. Petrolhead Mike Duke, 25, spent nine months transforming his Ford Cougar into a red and black imitation of the 1,000bhp motor. A specially-designed bodykit makes it indistinguishable from a 1million Veyron and the interior has been re-styled and covered in leather. But the engine is the Cougar’s standard 2.5 litre V6 model, meaning its power falls well short of the 1,000bhp developed by the Veyron’s 8-litre powerplant. This means 0-62mph in 8.2 seconds and a top speed of 140mph - a way off the Veyron’s 2.5 seconds and 253mph. Why? Why do single men do anything — to trick women into coming home with them. *fumbling around with keys, finally opens door* “This apartment is dingy.” It’s a safehouse baby, I’m hiding out. “Driving that sports car?” I’m a spy, and spy’s drive fancy cars. “Who are you?” Duke, Mike Duke — Her Majesty’s Secret Service Center and Autobody Repair. Hit the jump for several more shots of the in-process and a couple more angles of the finished product PLUS A LINK TO THE EBAY AUCTION WHERE YOU CAN BUY THE THING ($89K) AND LIVE THE DREAM.

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Man Convincingly Mods $2,000 Mercury Cougar Into $2Million Bugatti Veyron Lookalike

Because so many of you seem to pop raging Pokeboners anytime I post something pocket-monster related , here’s a gallery of Team Rocket cosplay by skilled costumer/cosplayer/photographer Ryoko Demon . There’s a bunch more after the jump, plus a bonus track of the official Pokemon Black and White theme song by Presidents of the United States of America (the band, dummy, not Taft and Roosevelt). So yeah, did you all run out and grab the new Black and White release this weekend? I did not. I did grab an Orange Julius (okay, four) from the mall though, so that’s something. Something delicious as f***! I don’t care what my doctor says, the diarrhea’s worth it. Hit the jump and get your looky-looky and listen on.

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Amazing Team Rocket Pokemon Cosplay

This is an older video that’s making it’s way around the internets of a Shaolin Monk (who the Wu-Tang clan would encourage you NOT to f*** with) throwing a needle clear through a pane of glass , shot at 1,000 frames-per-second. Now I’m not saying it’s not impressive, I’m just saying I’ve got a lot of buttons that need sewed back on and they’re not gonna do it themselves . *ahem* I’m looking at you, saffron-robe. Haha, stop punching me — it tickles! *WA-BAP* Okay now that one just stopped my heart. Hit the jump for the ‘eh, I could do that’. No, no you couldn’t either.

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Shaolin Monk Throws Needle Through Glass

British artist Keira Rathbone uses a typewriter to ‘type’ pictures with the letters , numbers and symbols available. There are a couple closeups of this particular piece after the jump, which are definitely worth checking out. Pretty awesome, right? Now I know what you’re thinking, and no, you could not do better. You really need to start being more realistic about your abilities. Just sayin’, some people are good at everything, some people are good at some things, and then there’s you. Then me. :/ Hit the jump for several more of the impressiveness, along with a shot of the artist at work.

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This Manuscript Is Illegible!: Typewriter Art