I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I really wanna throw a handful of change at him. Except not actual change, just a handful of washers. Then while Luke Panhandler there is scurrying around picking them up I’ll steal his lightsaber . Well, provided he hasn’t already pawned it to support his glitterstim habit. Kidding, kidding — that’s what Jedi blow-j’s are for. Flickr Thanks to Cowbell Fever, who, CRANK THAT BELL UP TO 11 AND BREAK OFF THE CLAPPER! Wait, no — better leave the clapper.

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I’d X-Wing A Quarter At Him: Homeless Jedi

This is a video of ninja /sign-spinner Matthew Kermode. He can spin a sign like nobody’s business . But it is — he works for a sign-spinning business! Taking his headphones off to talk with us for a second, the sign samurai handed us a card out of his wallet: “Matthew Kermode — AArrow Sign Spinner, Spinstructor.” (Yes, “AArrow.”) He said he’s been doing this for 10 years now, translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill. Kermode mostly works in the East Bay for the Martinez-based AArrow, spinning signs for housing developers. As far as who today’s client Jigsaw is, “I’m not 100-percent sure.” Kermode tried to be modest, saying he’s not the most talented spinner in the company. “We have a team of 15 guys right now and they all have talent. Different degrees of skill, but they all have talent.” He couldn’t have gotten the title “Spinstructor” for nothing. “…translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill”??? What’s more marketable than STEALTH ASSASSIN-RY? I can’t think of anything. Well, besides handsome blogger. Yep yep yep, TONS of opportunity over here. The Amazing Spinning Sign Samurai Wows Fourth Street [sfweekly] Thanks to Rich the Destroyer, Bob the Builder’s mortal enemy.

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For When You Can’t Kill: Sign Spinning