A granny in England recently had a writing pen removed from her stomach after being there for over 25 years and doctors were amazed to find it still writes . You know, because that’s the first thing doctors do after pulling something out of somebody: see if it still works . *considers jamming lipstick up my ass for the lulz* Apparently the woman was using the pen to push down her tongue while checking out tonsils back in 1986. She stumbled while stretching to look in the mirror, and managed to swallow the pen in the process. The pen didn’t cause any discomfort, so eventually she simply forgot about it. Whoa whoa whoa — I don’t know about you, but if I swallowed a pen I wouldn’t be forgetting about it, I would be FREAKING THE F*** OUT. *dialing 911* Holy shit man, I reaaaally don’t wanna pass this thing — get me to a doctor, STAT! Pen removed from woman’s stomach still works after 25 years [dvice] Thanks to c-nasty, who once swallowed a chopstick and shit what looked like a shish-kabob. Okay you’re disgusting.

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Quality: Woman Has Pen Removed From Stomach After 25 Years, Still Writes

This is an amazing looking series of digital paintings by artist Dave Rapoza of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle characters (sans the actual four turtles ). They’re amazing . David even has time-lapse videos on his website of him painting some of them, along with a bunch of other Ninja Turtle stuff if you’re interested. It’s definitely worth a look if you’re into turtle power. Me? I’m into ultimate power. *clamping alligator clips to Frodo’s hairy Hobbit tits* WHERE’S THE RING YOU THIEVING LITTLE LEPRECHAUN?! Hit the jump for (in this order): Metalhead, Bebop, Slash, Master Splinter, Casey Jones, Rocksteady, Baxter Stockman, April O’Neil, a Footclan member and Wingnut & Screwloose. Also, hit the link to his website for the in-progress videos and $40 18″x24″ prints available if you’re interested.

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Amazing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Fan Art

Picture moderately unrelated. The Healing Heroes Project is a nonprofit venture by do-gooder Josh Jenkins in which he gives terminally ill children in the hospital superhero “templates” to color and create the way they’d like, then Josh uses them to customize existing action figures into one-off’s of the children’s own designs. *wiping tear* Sorry — I think I got a shard of glass in my eye. Healing Heroes is a project dedicated to helping critically and terminally ill children. The aim of the project is to bring a little happiness into these childrens lives in a time when things might not be looking so bright for them. And what makes a kid happier than toys! More specifically the goal is to have the children design a superhero and within a week have an actual 1 of a kind custom action figure made for them from their design. It is my hope that this will in some small way help the kids through a really tough time in their lives and give them something positive to focus on while in the hospital. Josh is currently seeking action figure donations to help get the project underway (or start a massive action figure collection on the cheap), so if you’re interested in helping out be sure to go check out his website for details. Then, pat yourself on the back and pray Ol’ St. Nick wasn’t f***ing napping. I EXPECT BIG THINGS THIS YEAR, FAT MAN! The Healing Heroes Project Thanks to Taylor, who wishes all the sick children Wolverine-like recoveries. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

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Good Causes: The Healing Heroes Project

Is there anything funnier than tricking a Japanese man into a meeting and then faking the death of everybody else in the room by sniper fire? No. Unlessssss the alleged gunman then bursts in and puts his weapon to the man’s head and pulls the trigger. Seriously, you’re sick, Japan (keep the freaky Hentai coming). Youtube Thanks to Closet Nerd and Harry, whose parents don’t allow them to watch Japanese TV for fear of them becoming morally corrupt.

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Highly Questionable Japanese Sniper Prank