Setting things on fire : it’s what separates man from lesser forms of life like fish and children . And what better way to celebrate humanity than setting fire an old iPhone ablaze with a giant magnifying glass (actually a Fresnel lens)? I can’t think of any. Also, I would have huffed every last wisp of those tasty looking fumes . Then, oh I don’t know, DECIMATED THE NEIGHBORHOOD’S ANT POPULATION! Oooooor set my penis on fire pretending it was a death ray (it’s happened before is the thing). Hit it for the fire in the iHole.

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Burn, Baby, BUUUUUUUURN!: Setting An iPhone On Fire With A Giant Magnifying Glass

Sorry for the late start today folks, the internet was booboo when I woke up and instead of going to Starbucks I decided to yell at pedestrians from my balcony. Seems to have done the trick! Ever made love on the back of a dead alien before? I have. Ripley never had it so good. And now you too can spice up your love life with an alienskin rug from Ukranian leather-fethisher Bob Basset (best known for his bitchin’ dragon backpack ). Did I mention it glows in the dark? That’s to set the mood. Plus so you can see what goes where when you’re with a lady. Because there’s nothing awkwarder than making love on an alienskin rug only to discover you’re making love to an alienskin rug. Trust me. I had to marry it. Hit the jump for a bunch more shots including its glowing capabilities.

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Alienskin Rug: ‘Out Of This World’ Lovemakin’