This is a video of a rice cooker that sits 1256 meters (~3/4 mile) below sea level off the coast of British Columbia (you thought we wouldn’t find out, didn’t you, littering Chinese restaurant?!). As you can see, a crab stands guard on top. But what’s inside? Treasure? Davy Jones? Sticky rice? You’re gonna have to watch to find out! Ooooor just keep reading. An octopus. Hit the jump to watch the video of a robotic arm removing the top and undoubtedly destroying a delicate ecosystem (typical!).

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See? They Looooove Pollution: Underwater Ecosytem Surrounds Discarded Rice Cooker

BP recently admitted to Photoshopping a picture of their Houston-based oil spill command center to make it seem like the workers there don’t just play Minesweeper and make dead sea turtle jokes all day. Little did they know. You can’t fool the American public. ROFLOL! BP acknowledges it posted on its website an altered photo that exaggerates the activity at its Gulf oil spill command center in Houston. The picture posted over the weekend showed workers monitoring a bank of 10 giant video screens displaying underwater images. Spokesman Scott Dean says Tuesday that two screens were blank in the original picture and a staff photographer used Photoshop software to add images. He says the photographer was showing off his Photoshop skills and there was no ill intent. Damn, Mr. Photoshop! Copying an image from one monitor and pasting it on another? NOW YOU’RE JUST SHOWBOATING. Has Adobe approached you about teaching classes yet? No? Shocking . Kidding, it’s because you blow. BP’s altered photo distorts spill center activity [comcast] and BP moving into Photoshopping? [jcjanderson] Thanks to Lord Tarl and Jim, who Photoshopped a picture of themselves cutting BP’s peener off with a pair of lobster claws. I’ll admit, it’s erotic in a BSDM sorta way.

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BP Photoshops Picture To Make Oil Spill Command Center Look More Command-y

Love sushi but wanna eat that shit while you’re driving ? Steer with your knees . Or buy a $5 Sushi Popper. Mmmm, sounds fresh! Each Sushi Popper includes eight pieces of precut sushi and a bit of wasabi wrapped inside an airtight tube. After opening the top of the tube, diners can add soy sauce from a small stick affixed to the packaging, and grab their first piece of fish. They reach the next piece by pushing up on the bottom of the tube. Sushi Poopers are delivered frozen and have to be thawed for an hour or two before consumption. They can be ordered directly online and come in a variety of popular flavors like ‘Mystery Fish’, ‘Improperly Handled Seafood’, ‘Food Poisoning’ and ‘Great, Now I Feel Bloated and Gassy’. *licking lips* Okay I think I just swallowed a pube. Product Site via Now Available: Sushi Push Pops [gizmodo]

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Nice Package: Sushi In Push-Pop Form

There are good ideas and there are great ideas . This is a f***ing terrible one. Nuking the oil leak to cover that shit in rubble and seal it off. Plus birth Godzilla! (which, admittedly, I am for) A plan proposed to detonate a nuke to seal off that troublesome oil well is gaining support with each of BP’s failures. The Russians apparently used the tactic five times between 1966 and 1981. They went four for five. Will it ever happen? According to an anonymous source at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico — y’know, the guys and gals who created the Bomb in the first place — no. “It’s not going to happen,” continuing on with “Technically, it would be exploring new ground in the midst of a disaster — and you might make it worse.” Listen: I know James Cameron may be some kind of expert on submersibles and underwater filming, but if you’re considering atomic warheads you’re gonna need me on the team . Because I’m an atomic expert. Just sayin’, one time I nuked a hotdog for three minutes before it exploded. Nuking the oil spill, a ‘crazy’ plan that’s gathering steam [dvice]

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Smart Thinking: Okay Forget James Cameron, Let’s Just Nuke That Oil Spill! (Yes, Seriously)

For realz. On their heads . The species is only a few millimetres wide and scientists say it looks like a flying saucer with a cluster of gonads, or sex organs, on top. “It’s absolutely different from every other jellyfish that’s ever been known,” Dr Gershwin said. “So we not only put it into its own new species and its own new genus, but it’s actually a brand new family.” “Quite possibly and quite humbly the greatest discovery of my career, ever. I mean I’ll be lucky if I ever get a discovery even half as incredible again,” she said. The new species has been named Csiromedusa medeopolis, meaning “jellyfish from CSIRO” and “city of gonads”. So basically discovering the city of gonads is the highlight of Dr Gershwin’s career. That’s, uh, that’s really something. TOO BAD I ALREADY DISCOVERED IT IN COLLEGE! Been there, done that, is there a pube between my teeth, amirite? Experts astounded by ‘city of gonads’ jellyfish [abc] Thanks to Laurel, who doesn’t wear a crown of gonads because she has no interest in being the nut queen. Well let me wear it then. I SAID STOP HOGGIN’ THE BALLS!

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I’d Do It If I Could: Newly Discovered Family Of Jellyfish Wear Their Gonads Like A Crown

Note: Video is after the jump. This is a video of an octopus stealing some guy’s video camera while he was trying to film it. And if that weren’t bad enough, the tentacled bastard proceeds to swim away with the thing and dude has to give chase to get his equipment back. Geez, what an 8-armed jerk. And that is EXACTLY why I’m going for sushi tonight. And by sushi I mean Hamburger Helper. With no hamburger Hit it for the subtitled video.

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I’ll Tear Your Limb From Limb From Limb From Limb From Limb From Limb From Limb From Limb!: Octopus Steals A Recording Camera

This full-sized blue whale website comes to us from the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society that urges everyone to “EAT MOR CHIKIN”. Kidding, those are the Chick-Fil-A cows. Damn, now I want a sandwich . Ladies? Anyway, the website was designed to give the average computer user a sense of awe for just how large the sandwich you better be making me should be. Crazy, huh? Those whales are huuuuuuge. And as a guy whose had his fair share of BBW lovers: motion of the ocean, baby. I don’t even know what that means, but I just bought a sailboat! Website Thanks to Shelby, who is a special f/x artist and could make even me look cool. On fire . While exploding. Riding a shark.

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Frickin’ Huge!: Full-Size Blue Whale Website