Picture 1: Should’ve covered your eyes instead, little girl Picture 2: Probably the worst ’sign of the horns’ EVER This is a video of Chewbacca dressed as Axl Rose and an Ewok as Slash performing Guns n Roses’ ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ as part of Disney’s 2011 Star Wars Weekends ‘Hyperspace Hoopla’. WHAT. THE. F***? It 250% can and will shit all over any respect you might have had left for the franchise . Not depressed enough? Oh good, because there’s also a 26-minute video of the entire performance embedded after the jump in case you weren’t sure if you should start drinking from the flask you keep in a desk drawer. But, WARNING: you’re gonna wish it was poison Kool-Aid instead of the urine I replaced your bourbon with after chugging it all. Also, stop buying the cheap stuff — I have a refined palate. No, no I don’t, but I can taste the difference between Coke and Pepsi while blindfolded. Just no trying to stick a wiener in my mouth when I’m in the dark or I’ll tear it off like Macho Man Randy Savage snapping into a Slim Jim. I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about you, bro! Just sayin’, dug my Wrestling Buddy out of storage and been sleeping with him. Hit the jump to have your Star Wars loving world torn apart.

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Chewbacca As Axl Rose Singing ‘Welcome To The Jungle’/Destroying My Entire Childhood

When I think sexy I think one of two things — 1. dinosaurs or 2. spray cheese. If I’m feeling really krinky I’ll try thinking both at the same time but more often than not it leads to A) hyperventilating B) passing out and C) wet dreams . This is a Simpsons pr0n parody that at least had the decency (HA! — decency! IT’S A SIMPSONS PRON !!!!!11) to only include adult characters. It’s supposed to be a Homer and Marge sex tape, but also features Ned, Moe, Cookie Kwan, Senator Mendoza and McBain (NO APU ?!), which the thought of alone is enough to make my penis cry meteor-sized kidney stones for the rest of its life (he’s sensitive). But who knows, maybe you’re into this sort of thing. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone if you are, but maybe you are. And that, my (ex)friend, makes you a freak. And not the perpetually downtrodden and angsty kind that work carnival side-shows, but — yes, actually that kind exactly. NOW GET BACK IN THAT TENT AND SHOW EVERYBODY THE NIPPLES ON YOUR BACK! Hit the jump for a probably not that suitable for work video (moaning, PREVIEW OF A SIMPSONS PR0N PARODY) and a link to Fleshbot that has a bunch of SUPER NNNNNNNNNSFW pictures (only click if you want to be remembered as the guy who got fired for looking at hardcore Simpsons pr0n at work). You’ve been warned, now click away.

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Consequences Will Never Be The Same: Simpsons Pr0n Parody Hits The Interwebs

Hey, I warned you. NOT UNSEEABLE usually means you don’t want to see it . Remember that time you climbed on top of the bathroom counter and bent over to peek between your legs and get a closeup of your butt in the mirror ? Well it’s just like that. Except all these have two eyes. ZA-ZA-ZA-ZING! Hit the jump for a couple more and a link to the scarring blog.

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NOT UNSEEABLE: Muppets w/ Human Eyes

This pulsating ‘umbilical’ iPhone charger was designed by Mio I-zawa as an experiment in just how disgusting a person can make a cell phone charger . Nice try, Mio, but a REAL disgusting charger would ooze pus and smell like an orc’s o-ring (they wipe with dead animals). Oh I’m sorry — were you eating ? Kidding, I’m not really sorry. Besides, boogers don’t count anyway. “But I have a salt-tooth!” God you’re f***ing disgusting. Hit the jump to see a short video of the charger doing it’s thing. Then, hit the person next to you to see if they’ll fight back. If they don’t, demand their wallet. If they do, good luck, my money’s on them. Hit it for the WTFery.

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Stuff It Back In!: ‘Umbilical’ Cell Phone Charger

Note: Jump probably NSFW due to fake alien-vaj. To coincide with the release of Hustler’s Avatar pr0n parody , Fleshlight is making an “alien” version of their famous male sex-toy . “Honey — I think the blue flashlight in the tool chest next to your Neytiri poster is out of batteries”. Go where no manhood has gone before past the strangely alluring double clitoris of the Alien vagina. This mesmerizing pearlescent blue Alien begs to beam you up for a close encounter of the preferred kind. The exclusive Alien texture combines the feel of three of our most popular textures to create one out-of-this-world experience. Tantalizing sinews swirl together mimicking our famous Vortex canal before breaking through to a Lotus node that finally gives way to our most intense texture, the STU. I’m not gonna lie, I felt dirty just reading that. You can buy the sadness alone for $75, or get it and the movie and — AND — two pairs of crappy 3-D glasses for $90. Which leads me to my next question: why two pairs? Hit the jump for two more NSFW shots and a link to the product page.

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It Was Only A Matter Of Time: Na’vi Fleshlight

Note: Video is after the jump because I’m a firm believer in never-nudity. This is a video of a fit looking mom playing the Rock Band drums butt-ass naked in front of her children . Now I’m not saying I’m gonna befriend these kids so I can come over and join the band, but they better keep a fridge full of Sunny-D. Hit it for 17-seconds of not your mom.

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Now That’s Just Good Parenting: Playing Rock Band Butt-Ass Naked In Front Of Your Kids