This is a conceptual iPhone design by Bryan Brunsell with the camera moved to the top so while you’re texting and walking you can see whatever you’re about to walk into. My guess is a sex shop because you’re a pervert! Plus when you’re texting and driving you’ll be able to see the sky! Oh look, the top of a telephone po– *CRASH!* Listen: if you have the common sense to stop walking while texting can you also have the decency TO NOT JUST STOP DEAD IN YOUR TRACKS? Because I will run into you. “You were distracted taking pictures of my ass, weren’t you?” Of course I was — half your asscrack was hanging out, I have a f***ing Tumblr for shit like that . An unrelated thing that really happened: Me : *yawning* Girlfriend : *sticking finger in open mouth* FUTURE PENIS! One more shot after the jump in case you’re really into squiggly lines.

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1st World Problems: iPhone Texting & Walking Concept

WARNING: Video will make you think less of Doc Brown. This is the followup to the previously posted Back to the Future themed teaser ad (because commercials can have teasers now) for electronics store Garbarino in Angentina. Except this one is longer. And, despite a relatively okay concept, is pretty sad. Dammit Doc — WTF do you think you’re doing?! “Just trying to make a buck.” Just trying to make a buck — go back to the future and steal a Sports Alamanac, shit! “It’s unethical.” No, ruining my perception of the great Dr. Emmet Brown, INVENTOR OF THE FLUX F***IN’ CAPACITOR is what’s unethical! Back me up, Marty. “Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?” Jesus, not this again. Hit the jump for the say it ain’t so, plus bonus fake press conference that’s even worse :/

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The Entire Doc Brown Electronics Commercial

Picture 1: Should’ve covered your eyes instead, little girl Picture 2: Probably the worst ’sign of the horns’ EVER This is a video of Chewbacca dressed as Axl Rose and an Ewok as Slash performing Guns n Roses’ ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ as part of Disney’s 2011 Star Wars Weekends ‘Hyperspace Hoopla’. WHAT. THE. F***? It 250% can and will shit all over any respect you might have had left for the franchise . Not depressed enough? Oh good, because there’s also a 26-minute video of the entire performance embedded after the jump in case you weren’t sure if you should start drinking from the flask you keep in a desk drawer. But, WARNING: you’re gonna wish it was poison Kool-Aid instead of the urine I replaced your bourbon with after chugging it all. Also, stop buying the cheap stuff — I have a refined palate. No, no I don’t, but I can taste the difference between Coke and Pepsi while blindfolded. Just no trying to stick a wiener in my mouth when I’m in the dark or I’ll tear it off like Macho Man Randy Savage snapping into a Slim Jim. I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about you, bro! Just sayin’, dug my Wrestling Buddy out of storage and been sleeping with him. Hit the jump to have your Star Wars loving world torn apart.

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Chewbacca As Axl Rose Singing ‘Welcome To The Jungle’/Destroying My Entire Childhood

Hacking a toy’s remote-contro l mechanism to open your blinds when you wake up in the morning: cool. Hacking a toy’s remote-control mechanism directly into a cockroach’s nervous system to make it turn whatever direction you want it to: WAIT — WHAT THE F***?! By modifying the HEXBug toy “Inchworm” circuitry to deliver pulses, we stimulated the antenna nerves of the discoid cockroach to “trick” the cockroach into turning upon command. Stay tuned! as we make the preparation easier, more reliable, and lighter! Granted we’ve already seen the same performed on flying beetles , but I felt like there was a lot more that went into that. I didn’t know you could just take a toy apart, poke some wires into a cockroach and be good to go. What if the mad scientists find out about this?! SPOILER : MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Get it? Because that’s how they laugh. Hit the jump for the ‘oh God please squash it, please squash it!’ in action.

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NO: Bionic Cockroach Controlled By Remote

This is a Terminator in a Spongebob skin made out of LEGO . I, for one, am never eating another Krabby Patty for as long as I live. Which, since I’m a sorcerer, is forever. That’s right, I’m gonna put the Krusty Crab out of business! And speaking of Krusty Krabs *drops trou* Give it to me straight, doc, how do I get rid of ‘em? “Holy f*** — I’ve seen smaller Alaskan king crabs!” Sooooooo…sell them to Red Lobster? What’re you trying to tell me? Hit the jump for several more shots, including one from the back showing his inner-workings.

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Spongebob Actually A Terminator In Disguise

This is a real sign spotted at a Barnes & Noble bookstore . And the question of the hour is this: should we all be excited that kids are at least reading something , or disappointed THERE’S A F***ING ‘TEEN PARANORMAL ROMANCE ‘ GENRE? Option two, obviously. I swear, I’m so disgusted right now I could burn down Amazon . “GW, stop being stupid — Amazon isn’t even a real store.” Oh yeah? Well you’re not even a real person, so there. Don’t believe me? Pinch your non-dominant arm as hard as you can. Haha, that’s what you get! Say hello to the newest for-real book section at Barnes & Noble [reddit] Thanks to Ashley, who admitted to loving the Twilight series in her tip and officially dead to me. Zombie teen romance?! Please God no.

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Well Folks, It’s Official: Literature Is Dead

Note: Jump is very NSFW and very NOT UNSEEABLE . Textbook definition of cannot be unseen . You have been warned. “Honey, look — it’s Homer !” “Oh my God that’s amazing! The only thing that could possibly make it any better is if it wasn’t my wife doing it. I think we should see other people.” Hit the jump for the very NSFW version ( SPOILER : boobie eyes!).

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Homer’s Completely NSFW Doppelganger