Something’s not right. This is a video of an SUV towing what appears to be a BMW with parking cone orange rims when shit goes south . I’m not sure if something caused the craziness, or if the driver just overcompensated for a little swervature (which is a word now), but things go downhill fast. Think “riding down carpeted stairs on a couch cushion”, but replace the couch cushion with a greased cookie sheet. It’s like that. One time I slammed into the front door so hard I black out until my parents came home. From vacation. They say I might have brain damage. Hit the jump for the ‘I’m sure that’ll buff right out’.

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Dammit, You’re Doing Towing It Wrong!

I’ve never owned a Razor scooter . I tried a friend’s once but I fell off a curb and scraped my knees really bad. There was blood. Also: townspeople laughing. Now I live all alone in a bell tower , ashamed. I did make a zip-line though so that’s pretty coo. Razor scooters with integrated chalk ($60) and spark-bars ($180, electric): Their Graffiti scooter has a patented ‘chalk scribbler’ on the back which lets the rider lay down a set of parallel chalk lines while rolling down the street. But it’s their eSpark scooter that has me really concerned. Instead of pieces of chalk hanging off the back it’s got a ’spark bar’ letting riders leave behind a trail of incendiary sparks…on a single 8-hour charge it can run for about 40 minutes with a top speed of up to 10mph Eh, the chalk one is pretty worthless considering you couldn’t even write ‘PENIS’ if you tried. Or anything really besides lines. Admittedly, I could use the eSpark for my stunt spectacular provided it can ignite gasoline-soaked concrete and the noise doesn’t spook the tigers. Razor Scooters Now All About Vandalism And Starting Forest Fires [ohgizmo] Thanks to Charles, who has a skateboard that shoots flames. *looking* Yeaaaaaah, that’s not a skateboard that’s a jetpack.

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Razor Scooters: Now With Graffiti And Fire

This is a homemade pulse laser gun built by Patrick Priebe. The thing packs a 1-kW burst that can burn through plastic, foam and thin metals. Plus explode eyeballs . Just kidding, I don’t actually know that for a fact, I’m just assuming. Although I do encourage Patrick to make a trip to his local butcher to find out. And I’m not just saying that because I want him to pick up some pork chops for dinner tonight, because I don’t. I told you, I’m vegetarian. Or am I? Yes, I am. The bacon is a lie . Awh shit — Portal 2 spoiler! Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the pews in action.

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Don’t You Point That Thing At Me!: DIY Pulse Laser Can Burn Through Plastic, Metal

Why so serious, Luke? Geekologie Reader Dave made these paper snowflakes (Boba Fett & clone trooper version after the jump) with his children to use as Christmas decorations . You can make some yourself if you’d like — you don’t even need kids! But you will need scissors , so don’t run with them. Kidding — I say live a little! Hit the jump for the Boba/clone trooper flake.

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Arts & Crafts: DIY Paper Star Wars Snowflakes

Great, now I want a Code Red. F***ing love that stuff . I’ll even finish a bottle that’s been rolling around in the backseat of my burning-hot car for fours days. You think I’m above that? I’m not above anything. This is the NSFW Workplace Safety Advisory System, it works just like the color-coded Homeland Security Advisory System. I don’t know about you, but I could die happily never seeing a threat over yellow. You? I can tell you’re a deviant. “LET’S CRANK THAT SHIT UP TO PURPLISH-BLACK AND DO THIS!” NSFW Workplace Safety Advisory System [buzzfeed]

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CODE RED!: The NSFW Safety Advisory Chart

Readers, I though I’d take a second out of my busy schedule laying in bed to wish you all a happy and safe fourth of July. So get out there and grill something or whatever the hell people do to celebrate. And before you goobers begin the America trolling, remember: some countries don’t even have fireworks. Have a great fourth everybody and I’ll be back tomorrow. Possibly from the hospital! Be safe (you only get 10 fingers), The Geekologie Writer

Originally posted here:
Yay, Independence: Happy Fourth Of July!

Note: Video is after the jump because I don’t want you kids getting any ideas (yes, yes I do too — you should try it with the tailgate down ). This is a video of somebody’s grandpa passed out in a La-Z-Boy in the back of a speeding truck. Actually, he might be dead. But if not, he will be soon! And you know what that means: more Jello for us. Hit the jump for the video.

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What, No Safety Belt?: Grandpa Passed Out In La-Z-Boy In Back Of A Speeding Truck

Looking for that perfect MacBook sleeve that says, “I’m not just a creative , I’m a pretentious creative ?” Then you’re in luck. Also, probably not that creative. Burned you just got burned. Called the BookBook, this $79.99 case literally transforms your MacBook into “an antique leather-bound book.” Not just for looks, “its hardback sides with reinforced corners protect from impacts [and] the vintage designed spine provide crush protection.” Nice. Now when somebody breaks into your apartment to steal your first edition Shakespeare they’re actually getting your MacBook. Haha, the joke’s on them! This Vintage Book Is Your New MacBook Pro Case [iphonesavior] and BookBook Case Turns Your MacBook Into Leather-Bound Book [techeblog] Thanks to Michael and Erin, who have MacBook cases that look like large-print crossword puzzle books.

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Sneaky: That’s No Book, That’s A MacBook!

The ThermaHelm motorcycle helmet keeps your brain on ice in the event of an accident . That’s important because if you’ll recall those anti-drug commercials from yesteryear: a cooked egg brain is no good. Except with buttered toast. I say throw a halved grapefruit into the mix and I’m….damnit, stay focused, GW. The ThermaHelm is a carbon-fiber lid with two lightweight chemical packs — one water, the other ammonium nitrate — built into the lining of the helmet. In the event of impact, the contents of the two packs mix together, triggering a cooling reaction. The $490 invention will be launched in the UK in May this year, and they are already developing a more sophisticated version which, at $815, will include a video camera, GPS and Bluetooth. Well I don’t know about you, but there’s no price too high to pay for my heath. Unless insurance won’t cover it, in which case, I want you to pull the plug. I’m not waking up to a million dollar medical bill. I’d rather go bang dinos in space heaven. ThermaHelm ice pack helmet saves lives and frozen peas [dvice]

Link:
Ya Best Protect Ya Neck Brain, Or At Least Keep It Cold After A Motorcycle Accident

This is a video of a building demolition in Turkey (arguably my favorite country on rye) gone horribly wrong . Now I’m not saying I could have done better, but I totally could have. With fireworks. Youtube Thanks to Lord Tarl, who once imploded a building simply by looking at it funny (and secretly pushing the detonator).

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You Did It Wrong: Building Demolition Fail