That’s right folks, I’m calling it. Sometime on or before May 30th. The world may end in 2012, but it all starts in 2011 . BOOM, movie concept. Get that made by fall — I want Shia Laboof attached. If you get up any morning for the next few weeks, you’ll be treated to the sight of all the planets except Saturn arrayed along the ecliptic, the path of the sun through the sky. For the last two months, almost all the planets have been hiding behind the sun, but this week they all emerge and are arrayed in a grand line above the rising sun. Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter are visible, and you can add Uranus and Neptune to your count if you have binoculars or a small telescope. Now I don’t want to ruin how the world ends, but I will give you a hint: something about gravity fields and planets hitting each other. You ever seen a planet hit another one? They all punch like babies. Except Uranus — it really packs a punch. Get it? I’M ASKING HOW IS YOUR OFFICE CHAIR NOT ON FIRE. Six Planets Now Aligned in the Dawn Sky [yahoo] and Picture [abovetopsecret] Thanks to matt, who’s already building a bunker. Bunker or pillow fort?

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Rare Six Planet Alignment Heralds Doomsday

That’s right folks, scientists have developed a network that autonomous robots can use to send and obtain directions on how to perform various tasks (i.e. punch through your face). *moves doomsday clock forward to 11:59 and 30-seconds* RoboEarth is an attempt at creating a sort of Google Earth/Internet for robots, a place where standardized navigation and object information can be uploaded, stored, and then downloaded by a bot that needs it. Scientists and researchers from the Technical University of Eindhoven, Philips & the universities of Stuttgart, Mnchen, Zaragoza & Zurich have just made a huge breakthrough with RoboEarth. They have managed to get the TechUnited AMIGO robot (pictured above) to download all the information it needs for a specific task and then carry out this task. The task seems simple, the robot had to pick up and serve a bottle of water to a person. The AMIGO was successful in doing this autonomously. Worried yet? “Nah, I can take ‘em.” Daaaaaaw, that’s cute — but no, you couldn’t. You can’t even take a piss without hosing your own feet, let alone fight a robot apocalypse. But thankfully for you, there’s me. Fear not, ladies and gentleman, you have my personal guarantee that when the robotic shit hits the fan, I’ll be the first person to take up arms, then sneak out the back and blast off into outerspace to colonize another planet with the finest-ass space-honey. Later jerks! Hit the jump for a video demo (set to blaring techno, seriously — whose brilliant f***ing idea was that?!) of the system that’ll kill us all.

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Real Skynet Now Exists, Apocalypse Imminent

Because even God shines his starlight favorably on me for my birthday, the Perseid meteor shower will reach its peak tonight, possibly signaling the apocalypse . Did I mention Mars, Venus, Saturn and the crescent moon will all be clustered together as well? We’re as good as dead. Suck it 2012, you don’t have shit on my 2010 birthday! Across the Northern Hemisphere, the best time to watch the Perseid meteor shower will be tonight through the pre-dawn hours local time Friday, regardless of where you live. Weather permitting, patient skywatchers could see a shooting star every minute or so. Meanwhile, Venus, Mars and Saturn are clustered in the evening sky and will be joined tonight and Friday by the graceful crescent moon. Anyone with clear skies can easily spot the foursome looming above the western horizon as soon as darkness falls. While the planets and our moon are all very far apart in space, they appear lined up this week thanks to a special circumstance of orbital mechanics. The outer planets, Mars and Saturn, take much longer to go around the sun than the inner planet Venus. Venus “laps” the outer planets frequently, and it never strays far from the sun from our vantage point. Now I’m not suggesting you all walk out of work right now and start birthday partying with me until the Meteor Shower of the Apocalypse arrives, but you and I both know it’s the right thing to do. Seriously — how do you want to spend your final hours: working for the man OR GETTING BELLIGERENT WITH THE GW AND SKIPPING OUT ON OUR TAB? Balls are gross in your court. Spectacular Meteor Shower and Rare Planet Alignment Coincide [yahoonews]

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Star Gazing!: Meteor Shower Peaks Tonight