14-year old Seattle cancer patient turned Make-A-Wish-Foundation superhero Erik Martin sadly succumbed to his disease (HEY — FUCK YOU CANCER, SERIOUSLY) Friday, and yes, I’m writing this by touch because I can’t see the screen. Rest in peace, Erik, you will be missed. Electron Boy lit up the lives of many [seattletimes] Thanks to Becca and Puwe, who both found solace in knowing Electron Boy lives on inside every little atom. Thanks, I needed that.

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:’( We Lost A Good One This Weekend: IRL Superhero Electron Boy, 14, Passed Away

In sad news, a 17-year old died on Christmas after crashing his car into a telephone pole (rest in peace, buddy). Then, at his funeral a few days later, a 37-year old family “friend” decided to steal the Gameboys others had left for the boy in his casket. Who are you to decide if Gameboys go to heaven or not?! The boy’s uncle, Robert McCombs Jr., approached Bennett after Bennett got in his vehicle and was about to drive away. He asked Bennett about a missing Game Boy. “The defendant told the uncle that he did not have the Game Boy,” according to the affidavit of probable cause. “The uncle then told the defendant that he could see the Game Boy inside the vehicle. The defendant then produced the Game Boy and returned it to the uncle.” As that video system was being returned to the casket, family members noticed that a Game Boy Light and three games were missing. Bennet, according to his aunt, is “into alcohol” and is “just messed up.” Oh yeah? Well Bennet, according to the Geekologie Writer, is “gonna burn in hell” and “spend eternity getting flaming game cartridges stuffed up his ass with a pitchfork”. Just sayin’, the devil’s gettin’ pretty excited about it. Man Allegedly Steals Game Boys from Teenager’s Casket [gawker] and Picture Thanks to ape roc and Agent, who don’t steal from the dead for fear of getting molested by ghosts in the their sleep. Smart thinking, guys.

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Have Fun Burning In Hell, You Jackass: Man Steals Gameboys From Open Casket Funeral

Alexandra V. Tobias, best known for her wonky yet still piercing gaze, shook her 3-month old son to death for interrupting her while playing FarmVille on Facebook . I told you it was the devil’s game . Girl, just be thankful I’d never put my hands on a woman because I would beat your f***ing eyes straight. She told investigators that she shook the baby, smoked a cigarette “to compose herself,” and proceeded to shake him again. The baby may have hit his head during one of the two shakings, she said. FarmVille, named one of the “worst inventions” in recent decades by Time magazine, has more than 60 million members, most of whom access the game through Facebook. Some players have found it so addicting that they’ve lost their jobs and racked up debts north of $1,000. What in the hell’s the matter with people? And why does it always seem like the morons WITH ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS (or significant genealogical differences from the other parent) CARING FOR A CHILD the ones that keep having them? Because I’d like to propose a sterilization program. Ha — did I say sterilization? Because I meant euthanasia by shotgun. “FarmVille” Interruption Cited in Baby’s Murder [mashable] Thanks to Shenanigans and Jessica, who don’t play FarmVille because it’s the shittiest game ever invented.

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Burn Her With Fire: Mother Shakes Baby To Death For Interrupting Her During FarmVille

Seen here using a remarkably small font for a 400-year old, Ivy Bean, the world’s oldest Twitter user, has passed away . Her tweets , and old-lady aroma, will be missed. From the two-story care home where she lived in the northern English city of Bradford, 104-year-old Ivy Bean would tell her nearly 57,000 Twitter followers around the world what she did each day — from eating fish and chips to sitting in the garden. Bean’s online activity drew headlines in recent years because of her age, and she had been called the world’s oldest Twitter user, though that is difficult to verify. She became a member of Facebook at age 102, but she quickly migrated to Twitter because it was easier, she said, and because she could have more followers. She had maxed out her friend limit on Facebook. Earlier this year, Bean tweeted that she had 25,000 pending friend requests. Wait — WHAT?! This ol’ lady had 25,000 Facebook friend requests and I have to sell my ass on the street like a f***ing hotdog vendor to get you to join the Geekologie Facebook page ? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! Style and grace? Okay what else? Dentures? Pfft — you think I won’t knock all my teeth out?! Somebody gimme an ice-skate, I’m about to ‘Cast Away’ this shit. R.I.P. Ivy Ivy Bean, ‘world’s oldest Twitter user,’ dead at 104 [cnn] and The Geekologie Facebook Page , WHICH YOU WILL JOIN Thanks to DC_Dewd, who may or may not have cybered with her at some point (he says he did).

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Don’t Cry, Fail Whale: World’s Oldest Twitter User Passes Away At Ripe Old Age Of 104