Note: Larger version HERE in case you’re convinced there’s some fine-print that might save your ass (there isn’t though is the thing). This is a handy-dandy flowchart to determine whether or not you’re going to be raptured tomorrow. SPOILER: no. Well — what was your offense? Mine’s being on my period . God, sometimes I hate being a woman! *rubbing chest* Meh — it’s not so bad. “Will You Be Raptured?” Flowchart [peasandcougars] via Handy Flowchart Helps Determine If You’ll Die This Weekend [gizmodo] Thanks to comfort eagle, who’s really hoping his wings will save him. I’d still suggest dressing like an angel for good measure.

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Flowchart: Will You Be Raptured Tomorrow?

This is a robotic tattoo machine designed by Chris Eckert (WTF, BROSKI?!) that does all the work for you. INCLUDING PICKING A DESIGN . But not just any design — oh no . Auto Ink is a three axis numerically controlled sculpture. Once the main switch is triggered, the operator is assigned a religion and it’s corresponding symbol is tattooed onto the person’s arm. The operator does not have control over the assigned symbol. OMG you’re mom is gonna to be piiiiiiiiiiiissed. “What are you, some kind of devil-worshiper now?! This is NOT how we raised you!” Raised me?! Video games raised me, you just grounded me for drinking and smoking weed! You should know if my Warcraft guild didn’t require 40-hours a week I’d have a job and be out of this f***ing basement! Bring another bag of chips when you come down to rotate the laundry? Automatic Tattoo Machine Inks Random Tats [make] via Automatic tattoo machine chooses your ink for you [dvice] Thanks to wes g, carlos and Erin, who prefer to get their random tattoos the old fashioned way: blackout drunk . Hoho, another penis!

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Robotic Tattoo Machine Even Picks Design

This a computer model of Jesus’ face using information from the blood on the Shroud of Turin to create the image. He looks like somebody I know. The image has been created for the History Channel’s upcoming special, “The Real Face of Jesus,” which is set to air next week. Ray Downing, president of Studio Macbeth, explains how they recreated the “real” face of Jesus to the NY Post: “We ‘lifted’ the blood and isolated it [on the computer],” he said, ’so that would sit ‘in air’ [on a transparent background].” Interesting, Ray, but I’ve seen the “real” face of Jesus, and it didn’t require any technical computer mumbo-jumbo. No, it came to me in Flamin’ Hot Cheeto form and I ate the whole bag except for his face without getting diarrhea . There’s no doubt it was a miracle. The “Real Face of Jesus” (PHOTO) Revealed?! [postchronicle] Thanks to Pete, who once saw the face of God in a cloud before getting struck by lighting. Geez, you can’t look directly at him, Pete! Don’t you remember the Nazis in ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’?

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Computer Modeling: Is This Jesus’ Face?

In this week’s ” growing things that look like other things ” news, a Chinese farmer has learned how to grow Buddah shaped pears . But are they sacrilegious to eat? Hao Xianzhang, a local famer, spent six years to perfect the process by growing the pears inside moulds, local media reported. The pears cost around 50 yuan (7.32 USD) each. Pfft, that’s nothing. One time I grew an apple that looked like I cut a hole in it and smoked weed out of it. BECAUSE I DID. Who has the green thumb now, bitches?! Hit the jump for two more shots of the holy fruit.

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Holy: Farmer Grows Buddah Shaped Pears

A bunch of protesters were out holding signs against Electronic Arts during the E3 convention because, hey, fundamentalists get bored too, you know. And apparently they don’t play video games . It seems that gaming giant EA, (that’s Electronic Anti-Christ for those of you church folk) has angered the religious denizens of LA with its sinfully spectacular title, Dante’s Inferno. The ‘Go to Hell’ tagline seems to the main focus of debate, with angry protesters warning ignorant gamers to steer clear of the title, regarding it as ‘tainted’ and ‘evil.’ “We are on a crusade to stop the blasphemous glorification of HELL and its minions as presented by Dante’s Inferno. The ever decaying youth and slovenly adults who engage with Dante’s Inferno are a victim of our society’s pointless need to flirt with Satan and his lustful campaign to corrupt human souls…We say NO. We say inferNO.” First of all, “blasphemous glorification of hell”, really? This isn’t Sims: Hell , it’s Dante’s Inferno. You battle wicked beasts and shit. I can pretty much guarantee nobody is gonna walk away from this game thinking, “you know, hell looks like an alright place”. YOU HAVE TO WALK AROUND WITH LIT CHARCOALS IN YOUR ASS. That is not blasphemous glorification. That is burny-ous constipation. Secondly, I don’t flirt with Satan no matter how drunk I get. Or how much fiery vaginas he promises. UPDATE : EA viral marketing for game. Still not buying it. Hit the jump for a pretty bitchin’ “Trade in your Playstation for a Praystation” sign.

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Wackjobs Protest EA At E3 Convention

The Brick Testament does the Book of Revelation . Fantastic. I want this to be an official set.

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The Revelations of St. John of LEGO