A Geekologie Reader, who will remain anonymous but who I will now refer to as Jilted Jedi because I’ve always wanted to pretend I was Dear Abby, had his entire Star Wars toy collection haphazardly dumped in the alley behind his house by his ex-wife, who may or may yes be a evil Sith lord. Which — let me see that lightsaber . Haha, red — I KNEW IT! There were about 10 black trash bags with carded figures stuffed into them 400-500 of them! Good thing the weather was cooperative and I was quick enough on the scene to detour the smokers in the alley. Can you believe the nerve?! Those toys should’ve only been handled by a mover specializing in the relocation of collectibles . Instead they got the trashbag treatment. Ex-wives: they hated your collection long before the divorce. Hit the jump for one more shot of the carnage.

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Oh The Humanity!: Geekologie Reader’s Ex-Wife Dumps Entire Star Wars Toy Collection In Alley

This is the confusing video of a guy proposing to his girlfriend by holding up a series of highly questionable posters in the window of a restaurant containing memes . Things like the ‘oh crap/OMG rage face’ guy with “marriage scares the f*** outta me!!!” and the ‘f*** that’ guy (Yao Ming) saying “BITCH PLEASE, MARRIAGE IS NOT 4 ME.” What I’m getting at is this 1. romance is dead (brobro killed it) 2. the music they used for the video was the wrong choice and completely took me out of the proposal 3. what the — did you two meet on 4chan? and 5. it is literally BLOWING MY MINE (mine is the new mind FYI) she said yes. Jesus, her biological clock must be ticking like MacGyver cut the wrong wire on a bomb. Hit the jump for the maybe she just said yes for the video.

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Guy Proposes With A Series Of Iffy Meme Posters

This is a video of some idiot trying to run over his girlfriend in a truck after she ducks into a gas station for safety. He misses her, but manages to hit the owner after plowing though the entire store . But the excitement doesn’t stop there, oh no! Captain Roadkill then gets out of the truck, leaves the store, steals another woman’s SUV that was left at the pump, and tries to make a quick getaway BEFORE CRASHING HEAD-ON INTO A BREAD TRUCK because he didn’t look both ways. F***, even Michael Bay couldn’t even make an action scene this exciting! Get it? Because he sucks. Hit the jump for the there ought to be a special place for people like this. “Like prison?” Even specialer.

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Failure At Life Drives Truck Through Gas Station Trying To Run Over Girlfriend

Because themed engagement photos are all the rage these days (you crazy kids!), Geekologie Reader Sean K. and his bride-to-be decided to spice up their photoshoot in the park with a ninja attack . Aaaaaaaand these are those pictures. Because if there’s one thing that brings a couple closer, it’s killing a complete stranger together. Trust me (one time a date and I accidentally ran over a bum and she wanted to drive straight to Vegas to tie the knot). Hit the jump for several more of the battle, but be sure to check out the link to the photographer’s Flickr for the entire set (which may or may yes include a vagrant checking the dead ninja’s pockets for cash!).

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Martial Arts Marriage: Ninja Attack Engagement Photos

A Zelda-loving couple recently got engaged after brobro hacked an emulated version of The Legend of Zelda to display a “will you marry me?” screen upon entering the cave at the beginning to collect your wooden sword. *sobbing uncontrollably* Always an usher, never even a groomsman. We had been playing the original Legend of Zelda on an emulator the previous weekend. (My fiance owns the original NES cartridge too, but the emulator makes hacking easier.) A few nights before, he and his roommate finished it, so he asked if I wanted to do the second quest. I said sure, so he turned on the computer and I started playing. When I entered the cave with the old man, (who normally says “It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this!”) who gives you a sword, it instead said what you see in the picture above. I looked over at my fiance; he was kneeling and holding a heart container made out of Legos. The ring was inside. Obviously I said yes! Edit: Many of you have asked if we are planning on doing a Zelda wedding. I think that’s a bit too nerdy for us… AHAHHAHAHAHA @ “I think that’s a bit too nerdy for us”. You already had a Zelda themed wedding proposal. If you think for one second dude isn’t gonna try cutting the cake with a Master Sword replica you’ve got another thing coming. Probably fairy-in-a-bottle wedding table decorations. F***, that’s actually a good idea! Hit the jump for a shot of the LEGO heart container ring “box”.

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It’s Dangerous To Go Alone, Want Some Company?: Hacked Legend Of Zelda Marriage Proposal

Blue balls and beer — story of my life, bro. Women: they’ll tear your heart out, spit in the hole, then not respond to the voicemails you leave about how much you still love her and want to work things out just so you can stay overnight one more time and steal a bunch of her underwear in retribution. Amirite, guys?! *all the guys leaving* Ya’ll are lying to yourselves! Eric Smith was just about to propose to his special lil lady with a custom-designed engagement ring when he found out she was cheating on him. So he did what any self respecting Spartan would do: sold the ring on eBay and spent the proceeds having a custom suit of Master Chief armor built. This wasn’t just any costume shop suit; in fact Smith had been thinking about the ideal suit of armor for a long time but had expected to defer the purchase until later. An artist out of Detroit built him a 40-pound dark green suit made out of carbon fiber and steel. The helmet complete with an orange visor and LED’s came from a master Stormtooper builder out of the Philippines. We didn’t even know there was a master Stormtrooper builder in the Philippines, so clearly Smith did his homework. Good lookin’, Eric, I imagine your heart is much better protected now. Get it? Because of the whole armor thing! But seriously, she clearly wasn’t worthy of a real Spartan anyways. I’m sure there are plenty of other women out there that will appreciate your new… look . Amirite, ladies? LADIES? *plays applause on boombox* Awh yeah — go get em, Chief! Jilted man uses engagement ring to buy full size Halo armor [dvice] Thanks to Krame, who says he should have opted for a full suit of Shredder armor instead. Hey — a man’s choice of armor after a breakup is his own personal decision.

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Man’s Soon-To-Be Fiance Cheats On Him, He Sells Engagement Ring To Buy Custom Master Chief Armor

Note: High-res version of the board HERE but make sure to check out the game pieces and cards after the jump. This is a Fallout themed Monopoly game made by German DeviantARTist Elisabeth Redel for her Fallout-loving boyfriend (whose name I couldn’t find so we will call him Vault Boy). It is ultra impressive and clearly a sign of TRUE LOVE. Ooooooooor advanced radiation poisoning. The board was printed on a 50 x 50 cm PVC plate. Every street is a location from the Fallout game. “GO” is now “G.O.A.T.” and “free parking” is the “please stand by” screen. Every card has one of the Fallout3 or Fallout New Vegas perks on it and has a really cool old playingcard image on the back. I actually beat New Vegas last week and just started playing 3 in the past few days. I have a hard time sticking to the mission though so I keep wandering too far into DC and getting my ass handed to me by Super Mutants. Just a couple million more shots with my laser pistol and your ass is grass, Mister Mutant! That’s what I say when I’m playing. Also: “dammit — why’s there no ‘bang this person’ dialog option?” I’m into ghouls. No, no I’m not. But you’ve gotta admit, the golden geckos in New Vegas weren’t bad looking. Hit the jump for closeups of the pieces and cards.

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Super Impressive Fallout Monopoly Game

In the much anticipated Elder Scrolls: Skyrim players will not only be able to marry between races, but the same sex as well. Finally. *eying Mass Effect 2* GARRUS AND I COULD’VE HAD SOMETHING. Bethesda’s Pete Hines has confirmed that gay marriage is possible in Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim. The news comes, like all news these days, from a tweet. In response to a twitterer’s question which suggested Bethesda was being “hush hush” about gay marriage, Hines posted: “Not hush hush, just not making a huge deal out of it. You can marry anyone.” Obviously, I will have a harem of lizard-people and hopefully a dragon. Also, since it’s Friday and we’re being honest, yes, I did “test” Fisto the sex robot in Fallout: New Vegas , but ONLY to make sure he wouldn’t tear somebody’s wiener off and fail the mission for me. *poker face* Did anybody buy that? “I wouldn’t believe it for free.” Okay I got curious. Skyrim To Allow Gay Marriage [g4tv] Thanks to eric and Janre, neither one of which married a cousin.

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Elder Scrolls Skyrim: Now With More Same Sex, Different Species Marriage

This is a rad to the power of sick in-game Portal 2 proposal created by getting a couple Portal level designers to develop an entire 10-minute level, and even getting Ellen McLain (the voice of GlaDos ) to do the voice work. It is most impressive, and beats asking your girlfriend at a Sonic Drive-In. Kidding, you can’t top that. Or pizza when you’re drunk. Is there really ANYTHING better than a hot ‘za (I’m going to kill myself for typing that) after a night of boozing? No, there is not. “But what about sex?” Ha — but what about sex . Go ask your girlfriend what she thinks about that, Don Juan Dos Equis. Well? “She just laughed.” BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!! She told me she calls you Tequila Mockingworm! Hit the jump for the 10-minute level in both regular vision AND CINEMATIC VISION.

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Yes, My Answer’s Yes!: Slick Portal 2 Proposal

Note: Entire worthwhile series after the jump. You know what they say: a couple that slays together, stays together. No? Nobody says that? Well I just did . “You also just said you’d kill everyone in the room for a Butterfinger Blizzard.” I know, and I meant it . Shit, I’d take out half of you for a creamsicle. This is a series of photos of California couple Ben and Juliana fighting off a zombie during their engagement picnic. It…is very romantic. Nothing draws a couple closer than killing something together. Don’t believe me? I’ll ask my roommate’s girlfriend. Well? “I wouldn’t know.” Soooooooooo — you weren’t around for that whole hooker thing? *sits back and waits for break up so Derek and I can be best bros again* Hit the jump for the entire attack from start to finish.

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Couple’s Zombie Attack-Themed Engagement