Amazon Officially Announces Color Kindle

In a move that should come as no surprise to anyone except the very, very old who still can’t believe electric car windows exist, Amazon announced its color-screen Kindle today, the $200 Fi-ya (technically ‘Fire’, but I like to say it like that). People are speculating how much it’s going to affect iPad sales EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE SPECULATING WHERE THEIR NEXT MEAL IS COMING FROM. Priorities, folks, that’s the really lesson here. Haha, I’m teaching — I’m actually doing it! *soaks pants in front of class* FUFUFUFUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Product highlights: 7″ multi-touch display with IPS (in-plane switching) technology and anti-reflective treatment, 1024 x 600 pixel resolution at 169 ppi, 16 million colors. Dual-core processor running Android Own Amazon Silk web browser, Flash support 14.6 ounces (9/10-lb) 8GB internal storage. Enough for 80 apps, plus either 10 movies or 800 songs or 6,000 books. Free cloud storage for all Amazon content Up to 8 hours battery life of continuous reading or 7.5 hours of video playback Wi-Fi only I’ve never actually owned a Kindle. I like book-books. Something about the smell and being able to wipe boogers between the pages. Amazon is also releasing a new and improved 6″ ‘vanilla’ Kindle for $79, and two 7″ touchscreen versions for $99 and $150 (3G). What they are NOT releasing is the collection of nudie photos I took of myself and tried to sell in their app store for a million dollars. YOU DIRTY COMMIE CENSORS! Amazon Product Site Thanks to everyone who sent this for thinking I must live under a rock or something. BURN! No but seriously, keep those tips coming.

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Amazon Officially Announces Color Kindle

Go Womens!: The Female Character Flowchart

Give a hoot, don’t pollute go blind, click HERE to see the entire giant-ass chart. There’s nothing more beautiful than a strong, female character. Unfortunately, in this misogynistic world in which we live there aren’t neaaaaarly enough. Now I know what you ladies are thinking, and no, Bella the vampire-babymaker doesn’t count. She’s actually the worst female character ever invented excluding all my ex-girlfriends. Who, for the record, could suck the life-blood out of a mortal man twice as fast. Mr. Nice Guy over here! Anyway, this is the flowchart of female character design. Some more info: This flowchart focuses on the one- and two-dimensional female characters we see over and over again in modern fiction. The graphic does not include every type of female character that has ever existed, but I did my best to focus on the most important tropes. Some of the listed tropes might be considered crazy-sexist, and others represent more positive stereotypes. The tropes are subjective, and they exist on a continuum of sexism. Consider Family Guy’s Lois Griffin (who falls under the category of “Perfect Wife”). Lois isn’t a particularly complex female character, and the idea of a fun-loving sexpot wife who stands by her man no matter what he does is kinda-sorta sexist, in that this character is a fantasy fetish figure tailor-made for adolescent male audiences. But as far as sitcom housewives go, I’d much prefer to watch a Lois-type character than a classic sitcom shrew like Debra from Everybody Loves Raymond . At least Lois represents a more positive (and sex-positive) stereotype. If you’re a writer and you find that one of your characters fits one of the categories on this chart, there’s no need to panic (or start yelling at me)! Two-dimensional characters are the backbone of fiction, especially fantasy fiction and most comedies. However, if you find that all or most of your main male protagonists are well-developed and all or most of your female characters are not, you should probably start worrying a little. (Chris Nolan.) When you get to the “love interests” section of this chart, be aware that it refers primarily to heterosexual relationships. It’s not that I’m trying to be heteronormative; it’s that, hey, we’re talking about modern pop culture here. How often do you see homosexual rom/coms or long-term lesbian relationships on TV or in the movies? (Porn doesn’t count.) The exception, of course, is The Wire , but then Kima and her girlfriend were obviously well-developed strong female characters who wouldn’t be found in this flowchart in the first place. Obviously , this chart in no way applies that there aren’t male stereotypes out there in the pop culture ether. There are. Obviously . But it seems like Hollywood has a significantly harder time writing non-stereotypical female characters than male ones, so I made this chart to help out. Wow lady, way to NOT lose my interest, amirite?! Just sayin’, did anybody else read all that? Because I actually did. And not just to prove that I can read long things like a grownup, but that’s probably the most words I’ve ever read that weren’t printed on the back of a cereal box. I like the ones that are just mazes! The Female Character Flowchart [overthinkingit] Thanks to Laura, who IS a strong female character. Oh yeah? *flexing abs — okay, mushing rolls together* PUNCH ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN!

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Go Womens!: The Female Character Flowchart

Well Folks, It’s Official: Literature Is Dead

This is a real sign spotted at a Barnes & Noble bookstore . And the question of the hour is this: should we all be excited that kids are at least reading something , or disappointed THERE’S A F***ING ‘TEEN PARANORMAL ROMANCE ‘ GENRE? Option two, obviously. I swear, I’m so disgusted right now I could burn down Amazon . “GW, stop being stupid — Amazon isn’t even a real store.” Oh yeah? Well you’re not even a real person, so there. Don’t believe me? Pinch your non-dominant arm as hard as you can. Haha, that’s what you get! Say hello to the newest for-real book section at Barnes & Noble [reddit] Thanks to Ashley, who admitted to loving the Twilight series in her tip and officially dead to me. Zombie teen romance?! Please God no.

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Well Folks, It’s Official: Literature Is Dead

Nobody Reads Anyway: How To Sell Books

What, no “These Books Have Three-Tittied Alien Chicks Wielding Swords In Spaceships on Their Covers” section? Amazon it is. How To Sell Books [buzzfeed] Thanks to Karsten, who only buys books for their cover art. Who doesn’t?!

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Nobody Reads Anyway: How To Sell Books

Wait, An Actually Useful Infographic? Get Out!

Note: This is only a small portion of the useful info, click HERE to see the whole life-changing thing. Finally, an infographic that might actually change my life . Granted it won’t, but still, it could . I mean, if I weren’t such a deadbeat. How about number one there, the hanger idea — that’s pretty good, right? Well it would be if all my clothes weren’t in a pile on the bathroom floor. I call it my nest, and it’s where I sleep at night. Bathmat pillow aside, don’t you dare judge me . I don’t judge you, do I? Yes, I do actually, I’m very judgey. Anyway, read the graphic, learn some shit, then get out there and get life hacking! But a word of warning: don’t go overboard, bricking = certain death. 35 Life Hacks You Should Know - Infographic [theirtoys] Thanks to JustGil, CONOR and Ralph, who are so good at hacking their lives the government asked them to explain how they did it. You know what they said?

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Wait, An Actually Useful Infographic? Get Out!

Make Up Your Mind!: Ambigrammatic Tattoo

This ambigrammatic (FAKE WORD IS FAKE) tattoo reads ‘art & science’ when read in one direction , ‘philosophy’ when read in another and ’schools 4 fools’ when read upside-down in a mirror while spinning around repeating ‘Bloody Mary’. “Art & Science / Philosophy” — designed by renowned typographer John Langdon, best known for providing the artwork featured in the novels of Dan Brown. Impressive work, John. Any chance of hooking me up with a ‘Geekologie/Dino Lover’ design? I’ll pay you — IN ILLUMINATI GOLD! I’m on to you, Freemason. Ambigrammatic Tat of the Day [thedailywh.at] Thanks to Mary, who UFO CONSPIRACY GLOBAL WARMING GOVERNMENT GENETIC EXPERIMENTS!

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Make Up Your Mind!: Ambigrammatic Tattoo

Sure, Why Not: A Gerbil Wheel Bookshelf

I love books . I’ve read like six of them . One of them twice. My bookworm-y tendencies aside, this is a gerbil wheel bookshelf designed by artist David Garcia (I love your brother’s band!). Unfortunately the wheel isn’t on a stationary axle, so you’ll probably walk yourself into a wall while reading . Or, even worse, traffic. Which reminds me — did I tell you I saw a guy reading while driving yesterday? Well technically he had a porno mag spread on the passenger’s seat and his junk in hand, but still. And they say reading is dead! Screw e-books, get a circular walking bookshelf instead [dvice]

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Sure, Why Not: A Gerbil Wheel Bookshelf

Teen Suing Amazon For Deleting Book From Kindle, Or, Why I Don’t Have My Homework

A teen has filed a class-action lawsuit against Amazon for remotely deleting a copy of George Orwell’s ‘1984′ off his Kindle without his knowledge or the right to do so. Justin D. Gawronski, 17, “now needs to recreate all of his studies,” alleges the complaint filed Thursday in Seattle by the law firm KamberEdelson, LLC. Gawronski took copious notes using the Kindle that were linked to particular passages in the book, the court document says, and while those notes are still accessible, they are useless without the passages they reference. Amazon has apologized for remotely deleting copies of 1984 and another Orwell novel, Animal Farm, in mid-July without informing customers. Jay Edelson, the lead attorney in the lawsuit, said in a statement that the plaintiffs “appreciate Amazon.com’s new-found contrition, but words are not enough. Amazon.com had no more right to hack into people’s Kindles than its customers have the right to hack into Amazon’s bank account to recover a mistaken overpayment.” Now I’m not saying Amazon should have done that, but I am saying that Justin is pretty lazy for not just going back through the book and finding the passages again. Not that it matters anyways because I’m pretty sure this is just a sorry excuse for not having your homework ready on time. But seriously, one time my dog really did eat my homework. And by homework I mean weed. Amazon sued for wrecking teen’s Kindle work [msn] Thanks to Laura and Joemo, who would have just sent their teacher a corrupted file like a normal person.

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Teen Suing Amazon For Deleting Book From Kindle, Or, Why I Don’t Have My Homework

Sneak Preview: The Third Generation Kindle?

This is a sneak preview of the 3rd generation Kindle robot book . It’s pretty much exactly what I expect to see Amazon roll out next year. And speaking of rolling out — transform! I said transform! *touching breast* Stupid mannequin. The Kindle 3 [collegehumor] Thanks to Julian, who never learned to read and is already on the waiting list.

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Sneak Preview: The Third Generation Kindle?

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