So apparently Nissan is getting into the iPhone case business after inventing a paint for its vehicles back in 2008 that “self-heals” after being scratched (video demo after the jump). Because God forbid your iPhone CASE gets a f***ing scratch in it. That — that might just be the end of the world. *eye barrel-roll* Come on — you starving kids in Africa know what I’m talking about! No? Just think I’m some sort of weird, fat demon? Oh . Dubbed Scratch Shield, the polyrotaxane-based paint has been used on the company’s Murano, 370Z, X-Trail and Infiniti vehicles. When gashed, the chemical structure reacts by changing back to its original shape, thus mending the damage. Compatible with the iPhone 4 and 4S, the Scratch Shield case is constructed from ABS plastic and was developed in conjunction with the University of Tokyo and Advanced Softmaterials. In addition to its self-repairing properties, the gel-like paint offers a grippy surface instead of a slick glossy coating. Nissan plans on manufacturing and shipping the case later this year if the demand is high enough, which it undoubtedly will be. People loooooooove expensive novelty products. Ooh ooh, watch — I’ll scratch my phone case and the scratch will disappear! GOD, JUST GET A CASE FOR YOUR CASE. Hit the jump for a 30-minute time lapse of a car scratch repairing itself.

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So What If It’s Scratched?: A Self-Healing iPhone Case

‘Find His P0rn’ is a website you can visit on your boyfriend/husband/roommate/son’s computer that will, wait for it — FIND HIS P0RN . That way you can confront him about whatever disturbing fetish videos you found and have the awkwardest conversation of your sure-to-be-short-lived relationship. I can see it now: Girlfriend : I found your p0rn stash, Michael! You must really like cheerleaders, huh? Boyfriend : You were snooping around on my computer? Girlfriend : No, I paid $20 for an app to do it for me! Boyfriend : I hope you get a lifetime subscription, because we’re through. Girlfriend : That’s not what this is about! Boyfriend : *downloading Chesty Cheerleader Tryouts 4* Official Site Thanks to Carrie, who claims her man doesn’t have time to watch p0rn because she’s a nympho. Literally — she said that!

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We’re Breaking Up: ‘Find His P0rn’, A P0rn Finding App

What you’re looking at are incredibly thin pieces of lab-grown beef. Pretty appetizing, right? “They look like scabs with little pieces of Band-Aid stuck in them.” Mmmmmmm, scabs . I just had one on my knee that was almost ready for harvest but it came off in the bed and I haven’t been able to find it. Sucks too, it was a thick one. These petri dishes contain thin strips of 100% lab-grown muscle tissue, synthesized from animal stem cells harvested from slaughterhouses. They contain no blood and no fat (hence the weird look), and are “exercised” by being stretched between a couple tabs of Velcro. By piling about 3,000 of these strips together and throwing in some synthesized fat, it’ll be possible (within the year) to create the first ever burger that didn’t come from an animal. Once that has been achieved, we can set about tweaking the meat to look and taste the way we want it to, which shouldn’t be too difficult. So, for all you meat-eaters out there: what do you find more bothersome: knowing that the meat you’re eating came from something that used to have a face… or didn’t? Because I used to know this guy at the Underground Pub in Blacksburg who told me he once infiltrated a top-secret government testing facility where they were growing human organs in human “factories” that didn’t have heads or limbs or anything like that. That shit freaked me out. Plus one time he stood in front of the dart board backwards and made us throw darts at him. $345,000 will buy you a hamburger grown in a petri dish [dvice] Thanks to beebs, who doesn’t eat anything that comes from a lab except cotton balls . Those…aren’t part of the food pyramid.

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First Lab-Grown Burger Coming Soon, $345,000

Those ankles. $30 LED slippers: so you can find that bit of midnight snack you dropped on your way back from the fridge . And don’t even act like they’re to prevent stubbing toes because nobody watches their feet while they walk unless they’re trying to avoid dog shit or breaking their mother’s back. “But do they come in camouflage ?” Ha, do they come in camouflage. Of course they come in camouflage — the deer will never see you coming! Hit the jump for a couple more shots, an unconvincing infomercial, and a link to the product site.

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Nightvision On The Cheap (And Iffy): LED Slippers

Inb4 cash for gonads. India, in an attempt to halt the country’s exploding population , is offering cars, motorcycles, cash , televisions and blenders to men willing to have vasectomies. No word if the men receiving blenders will have to perform the operation themselves. The chief medical office of Rajasthan’s Jhunjunu Sitaram Sharma hopes that about 30,000 individuals will volunteer… This follows on the heels of a similar program wherein approximately 150 men received vasectomies in exchange for gun licenses in a region that has been described as “bandit-invested.” That’ll end well. India’s population has been growing out of control, and is currently on track to surpass China’s population within the next 20 years. Currently, India’s population is at around 1.21 billion. Not gonna lie, I’d get my nuts cut for a whole lot less. I’m talking like the promise of an Applebee’s gift card. Not even the actual gift card, just the promise of one. And I’m not just saying that because I don’t want any more kids, but because I really love Applebees. One appetizer and two entrees for $20 — how’re they even turning a profit?! India Offers Cars and Other Goodies in Exchange for Sterilization [weirdasianews] Thanks to Melissa, who isn’t convinced sterilizing 30,000 guys is gonna make much of a dent in a 1.21-billion person population. No? Maybe they’re the ones getting all the ladies pregnant!

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India Offering Cars, Cash For Male Sterility

How do you like your back scratches ? If you answered, “until you can see the bones “, then these Predator rings by Danielle Nicole Hill may be for you. A set of five will set you back $900, but you can get a single for $200 if you’re just going for the cokehead look. *braaap!* Did you hear that? That was Lady Gaga shitting her holographic eagle costume in excited anticipation. Hit the jump for two more shots and a link to the product site although why I’m even bothering is beyond me.

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Get Away From Me: Predator Nail Finger Rings

Facebook just got outed for including (non Girl Scout ) cookies that have the potential to track a user’s movement across the interwebs even when signed out of the site . I…feel violated. Get it? I just sat on a dog toy! When Australian programmer Nik Cubrilovic first blogged on Sunday about how Facebook logout didn’t seem to actually, uh, log out, the company went into damage control mode, insisting that “Facebook does not track users across the web,” which was pretty funny given that Facebook has a tracking feature its CEO literally calls “Facebook Across the Web.” The company also said, “logged out cookies… are used for safety and protection…” Except it turns out one cookie wasn’t used for “safety and protection,” as a Facebook engineer has admitted to Cubrilovic now that the press storm is subsiding. One cookie, “a_user,” continued to report your user ID back to Facebook after you logged out, until you shut down your browser entirely. The cookie was only visible to Facebook, but the site could have used it to track your visits to other sites if it wished, since a great many websites feature “Facebook Connect” widgets that load content from facebook.com — transmitting cookies to Facebook each time they do so. Oh shishi Facebook, you bein’ bad! *calling Zuckerberg* Hey Zuck — it’s me, the Geekologie Writer. THE GEEKOLOGIE WRITER, DAMMIT, DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW WHO I AM! Huh? No Y, it’s with an I-E at the end. Listen Zuck, let me cut to the chase — I’m calling about something really serious today. I need you to float me $10-million. Why You Never Really Log Out of Facebook [gawker] Thanks to Joe and JoeLickASac, who, wow, two different Joes on one tip, what the chances of that happening?! “Not small enough to be worth mentioning.” Oh.

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Faceybooks: Never Not Tracking That Ass

Note: WTF video after the jump. Seen here pounding out a drum solo on some lady’s bongos chest (please, a little maturity), Khunying Tobnom practices the (not so) ancient art of breast enlargement by slapping. What the — is anybody really buying this?! I heard the secret was getting motorboated by a slovenly blogger. Khunying has been performing this non-surgical technique for more than 20 years, and her claim is that the slapping shifts body fat from one area to another and the kneading works excess fat towards the breasts. [But what if you knead too much into one and not enough into the other?!] In 2003, breast slapping was officially approved as a natural alternative to plastic surgery. At least for now, this one beautician is the only person in the world who knows the secrets of breast, face and buttock slapping, which she inherited from her grandmother. One day when she a teenager, her grandmother saw her applying some miracle cream to her breasts in hopes that they would grow. She told her to stop wasting her time and money and rub them till it hurt. [WTF?!] She allowed her grandmother to slap her breasts a few times and douse them with ice-water, which resulted in a growth by 4 inches. Eventually, she mastered the techniques on her own. Not gonna lie, one time I got punched in the forehead and it swelled up too. I know, weird how that works. But then it turned purple-greenish-brown. Not how I like my taytays. Wait, let me rephrase that — not how I like women’s taytays. Mine? I’m kinky as f***, I’ve even tie-dyed these puppies before. Hit the jump for a video of Khunying in action and, inevitably, a bunch of dudes in the comments offering their services for free.

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Super Iffy Thai Breast-Slapping Enlargement

Sexy finger-biting: you give it a bad name. In between getting boned or whatever scenes, p0rn stars Alana Evans and Misti Dawn are apparently hard core gamers . So what are they doing? Opening a website that combines video game reviews, playthroughs and a bunch of other garbo, but with toplessness . Now listen: I love man as much as the next boobs, but this shit sounds lame. ” Um…GW? ” I MEANT WHAT I SAID. Evans came up with the initial idea to combine pornography and game coverage, and invited Dawn to the project straight away. “Misti is probably the most dedicated gamer girl I know, so she was the obvious choice as my partner,” said Evans. The launch date - September 20 - is also no accident: Evans chose the site’s launch date to coincide with the release of Gears of War 3. “I am a huge Gears of War fan,” Evans explained. Gamers will be able to watch and communicate with Evans and Dawn in real-time via Xbox Live and PlayStation Network Call me oldschool, but I like to keep my video games and p0rn separate, you know? It’s like, until we have lifelike virtual reality sex games, why blur the line? “Pfft, what’s the worst that could happen?” HA — obviously you’ve never come home to a roommate masturbating to Resident Evil before. *ahem* Derek! NSFW NSFW PwnedByGirls Official Site NSFW NSFW via Porn Stars Start Topless Gaming Site [escapistmagazine] Thanks to Grant, who agrees the Leisure Suit Larry franchise was the perfect blend of video games and sex.

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P0rn Stars Opening Adult Content Gaming Site

Nerds vs Geeks poster: ” Nerds are into Star Trek , geeks are into Star Wars !” Anybody who sees it: “WTF?! Whoever made this doesn’t know shit about shit.” Geeks vs. Nerds: The Anatomy [bitrebels] Thanks to Shannon, who agrees not knowing anything about anything has never stopped somebody from pretending to be an expert on the subject anyway. I know, I’m living proof.

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Nerds Vs. Geeks, Some Kinda Iffy Infographic