So apparently Chinese prisoners are being used by prison bosses and guards as free labor to mine the shit out of World of Warcraft gold and other virtual commodities and aren’t even allowed to level up their characters . Now that’s harsh. “Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour,” Liu told the Guardian. “There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [470-570] (~$770-935) a day. We didn’t see any of the money. The computers were never turned off.” It is estimated that 80% of all gold farmers are in China and with the largest internet population in the world there are thought to be 100,000 full-time gold farmers in the country. Prison farming aside, there’s over a hundred-thousand full-time Warcraft gold farmers in China?! That’s f***in’ nuts! I can’t even imagine numbers that high. Or, okay, anything past the hundreds. “Not even 1,000?” Whoa whoa whoa — cool it with all the zeros, homey! China used prisoners in lucrative internet gaming work [guardian] Thanks to AverageGeekGirl, who collects gold the old fashioned way: chasing leprechauns.

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I Want The Gold — Gimme The Gold: Chinese Prisoners Forced To Farm Warcraft Gold

Looks like a normal coloring book page, right? Something a parent might reluctantly hang on the refrigerator while mentally reminding themselves to take it down before any guests can see it? WRONG! It’s been dosed with drugs. *tears open mail licking everything* Back in February, corrections officers received information that the drug Suboxone (aka Buprenorphine) [a narcotic used to treat opiate addiction but often used recreationally] was being channeled into the Correctional Center through inmate mail. The tip led to a full investigation. During the second week of February, a mail room officer discovered mail containing a coloring book page. The page had an Orange substance blotted on it that looked similar to watercolor paint. Investigators confiscated the page and sent it to the Cape May County Prosecutor’s Office Laboratory for testing. The page tested positive for Suboxone. Pretty clever guys, but you’ve got to get up preeeeeetty early to trick an old trickster the Cape May County Correctional Center. Now — I’ve never actually been to prison before (only jail), but I don’t know how I’d feel about doing drugs in there. Making potty beer sure, but I’m afraid anything else might make me go crazy. Like dropping acid and locking yourself in a hall closet. You’re just not the same after that. Are you? I’m not. WHO SAID THAT?! Me. Me who? You did, this is you. GAAAAAAAAAH! *fighting to stab myself* Hit the jump for one more coloring book page.

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I’ll Admit, That Is Pretty Clever: Prison Inmates Sent Drugs As Dosed Coloring Book Pages

Sure the picture isn’t actually D&D , but you work with what you’re given, homey. Anyway, Kevin T. Singer (and boy does he sing in the shower , let me tell you), a 33 year-old serving a life sentence for first-degree intentional homicide, recently lost a federal lawsuit to allow him and other inmates to play Dungeons & Dragons in the slammer. Maybe you shouldn’t have killed that person, Kev! Prison officials enacted the ban in 2004 after an inmate sent an anonymous letter expressing concern about Singer and three other inmates forming a “gang” focused around playing the game. Singer was told by prison officials that he could not keep the materials because Dungeons & Dragons “promotes fantasy role playing, competitive hostility, violence, addictive escape behaviors, and possible gambling,” according to the ruling. The prison later developed a more comprehensive policy against all types of fantasy games, the court said. The appeals court said the prison’s policy was reasonable and did not violate Singer’s rights. Pfft, rights — I don’t even have any and I’m not even in the can. Well, technically, I actually am in the can. And you know what else I don’t have in here? TP. Sorry, right hand, you know what you have to do. Game over: Inmate Can’t Play Dungeons & Dragons [youbentmywookie] Thanks Eric, wes g and Camille, may all your rolls be 20’s. Unless you’re rolling for personal damage, in which case I wish you all 1’s.

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Dungeons & Dragons Banned In Prison (Selling Your Ass For Cigarettes Still OK)

This is soap shaped like brass knuckles . It’s equally suited for punching yourself in the taint or fighting off would-be lovers in the prison shower. Which, miss you Big Bear . Brass Knuckle Soap Allows You To Punch Up a Good Lather [gizmodo] Thanks to pstone, who made me his bitch.

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Prison: Don’t Drop The Soap Knuckles

Nathan Hodge has a short piece on Defense Tech talking about cell phones in prisons , and the technology that’s used to jam or detect them.

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Tracking contraband cell phones in prison