Hell no I’m not giving you a high-five — and put those titties away, gramma! This is a video of Carrie Fisher looking more like a f***ing alien than Princess Leia (is that rhinestone eyeshadow?!) responding to William Shatner’s video about how much better Star Trek is than Star Wars in a feeble attempt to stay relevant. I hope you know I’m being honest when I say it sucks so hard I couldn’t finish watching it. Hit the jump and be stupider because of it.

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You…Are A Crazy Person: Carrie Fisher Talking About How Much Better Star Wars Is Than Star Trek

Always thought you’d make a good Han Solo ? You’re the only one. It’s true, your mom thought you should audition for Jar Jar . But now you can fulfill your dreams anyway with JibJab’s ‘Star Wars: Starring You’. You just go to the website, upload some pictures of you and your friends (or a bunch of penises0, and next thing you know, BOOM, you’re saving the galaxy and shit. Whee! Now get out there and motorboat Leia’s golden boobies for me! Kidding, that doesn’t really happen outside your dreams. Or the picture I just drew. See? I gave you big lips. Star Wars Starring You [jibjab] Thanks to Melonie, Jackie and Ken, who got in a fist fight over who would be Lando Calrissian. Well, I guess there’s only one way to solve this: I’ll be Lando.

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Star Wars: Now Starring You And Your Friends

Remember Star Wars Uncut , the online project in which 473 people recreated 15-second clips from Star Wars: A New Hope with cardboard costumes and/or LEGO and the world’s shittiest CGI? Well the project has been completed, and there’s a five minute trailer after the jump. And I’m not talking a double wide either. Get it? Mobile home joke! Hit it for the video.

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Yay!: Star Wars Uncut Reaches Completion

This is a picture of a steampunk’d Princess Leia and Boba Fett from deviantARTist onewhospinsflags . Good lookin’, onewhospinsflags. Say, you don’t happen to know onewhospinshislittlepeeneraroundlikeahelicopter, do you? Because I sat next to him on the bus once. I think he should pay for my drycleaning. onewhospinsflags’ DeviantART Thanks to sham, who once created a steampunk’d Star Trek costume but the coal-powered pants warmer caught fire and burnt it all up.

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Steampunk’d Princess Leia And Boba Fett

This is an old-ass clip from 1978 of a Star Wars themed holiday special (Wookie family at 5:00!). But, since there’s no Jesus in the Star Wars universe, they celebrate ‘Life Day’, which, at least from what I could tell, is a present -less holiday that makes children sad. Here is a segment from the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special featuring Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia singing an ode to “Life Day” - the Star Wars Universe’s answer to Christmas. Wow Leia, that was pretty awful. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you supposed to be wearing a golden bikini on Life Day? Oh, hold on — The Force is talking to me. Topless, The Force says topless. The Star Wars Holiday Special - “Happy Life Day” (1978) [fuzzymemories] Thanks to b00geyman, who doesn’t so much deliver presents as hide under your bed and try to cut your Achilles tendon if you ever get up to pee.

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Happy Life Day From The Star Wars Universe

Because it’s Friday and I love you, here’s Princess Leia in her golden bikini . But not just any Princess Leia , THE Princess Leia. Plus another one! Here you can see Carrie Fisher in her metal bikini alonside Tracy Eddon, her stunt double in Return of the Jedi. Both are suntanning between takes on the deck of Jabba’s Sail Barge Click the jump to see an even better picture of the duo. Aaaaand I’m going to assume everybody immediately hit the jump and save myself from having to write anything else here boner boner boner. Tell me you hit it already.

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2 Princess Leias Sunbathing In Golden Bikinis

If so, you’re in luck because the $70 Jabba the Hutt Supreme Edition costume is just that. Jesus, I’d hate to see what the non-supreme edition looks like. Become one of the richest gangsters of a Galaxy Far, Far Away with the Jabba the Hutt Supreme Edition Costume! This full-body costume will transform you into the famous Hutt with a body piece (complete with tail), headpiece, and a battery-operated fan to keep you cool. Ha, I’ve got news for you: no amount of fans is gonna keep you cool if you buy this costume. Unless you somehow finagle some Princess Leia cosplay action out of the deal, in which case, I’m in. Now, GW the Hutt needs some bikini-clad slaves. Ladies? Product Site via Jabba the fursuit [boingboing] Thanks to Mark, who once bounty hunted the last dinosaur and broke my heart in the process.

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Need A Terrible Jabba The Hutt Costume?

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the story besides it’s of a bunch of Princess Leias having a pillow fight and God has bestowed me with the power of awesomeness. But no need to thank me folks, I did it for myself. So anyway, Darth Vader’s daughter just got pulled over for drunk driving . Police found the mother-of-two Dodds, 28, dressed in white robes with plaited hair, while her husband was wearing robes. “She was dressed as Princess Leia and her husband as Luke Skywalker and they found it was a bit embarrassing to walk the streets of Murton dressed in their costumes. When breathalysed she was more than twice over the legal drink driving limit. Magistrates banned Dodds from driving for 20 months, fined her 255 and ordered her to pay 60 in costs and a 15 victim surcharge. Dear. Mrs Dodds (aka the woman who likes to get drunk and dress as Princess Leia, aka the woman of my dreams), Firstly: if you were my girl, you would never have to drive drunk, because I have droids for that shit. Secondly: I can’t believe your husband (aka Luke Failwalker) didn’t even have the decency to Force choke and/or mind trick the arresting officer. You, princess, are running with the wrong Jedi. Marry Me? Yours, Obi Won Geekologie Woman dressed as Princess Leia of Star Wars stopped for drink driving [telegraph] Thanks to Ross, who once ran over his neighbor’s cat on a speeder bike but it was okay because speeder bikes float.

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Princess Leia Pulled Over For Drunk Driving